Citation: Andy McPotsmoker. "Fear and Loathing in Amsterdam: An Experience with Mushrooms ('Stropheria cubensis') & Cannabis (exp13852)". Erowid.org. Feb 26, 2005. erowid.org/exp/13852
I have recently returned from a week in Amsterdam. Thursday of this week was the strangest day of my whole life, for this was the day we ate the shrooms. We were in a cramped shitty room at the very top of a hotel. I was a little nervous of doing the shrooms so we decided to do them in the room with the door locked so we could come to no harm.
Preparation wise we didn’t eat all day and I wrote a note to myself saying ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!! Just in case I lost it completely. We decided to play some trippy music, but nothing too depressing, the heavy metal stuff was hidden away. I also had a big bag of sweets on hand, again just in case I lost it as we had nothing like thorazine and I didn’t fancy a trip to a Dutch hospital. (sugar is supposed to neutralise the effects.) [Erowid Note: It is very unlikely that there is any truth to this assumption.]
After a couple of joints down in the central coffee shop and no food, we went to a smart shop, the shrooms were called 'Stropharia Cubensis' (not sure of the dose), and were Mexican. We got 2 boxes and I had mine in a cheese and ham baguette, as I had heard how bad they tasted. We waited until the weed had worn off before we ate the them, but lit a joint of Orange Bud as soon as we had finished our meals.
After a short while I started to feel a little odd and uncomfortable lying there so I decided to stand up and walk around the room a bit, that’s when I really started tripping. I turned around to face MC but something wasn’t right, something was very wrong. Then it hit me I was slightly detached from my body, somehow it felt like I hadn’t caught up with myself turning round. I turned back to try and correct it but that just made it worse. “are you alright” I said but it sounded very slowed down “a bit weird” came the reply from MC. “I’m freaking out” I said. I opened the window to get some air, big mistake. The rooftops were washing up and down like the sea. And the bit of the roof I was looking at was distorted in a way that I cannot put into words.
I decided to lie down again. As I lay there staring at the wall, I suddenly noticed that I and the bed were floating along the edge of the wall, which seemed to go on forever. Then ZANG! Reality was gone for an entertaining yet terrifying few hours. Memories of the time are extremely hazy so bear with me. It felt (physically) like someone was ramming a branch down my throat (MC’s words not mine but I had the same sensation) “stop it, you bastard!” Then the left side of the inside of my head started to dissolve and run down my throat. It was so real, I could taste the blood and feel teeth sliding down my throat, and my tongue could feel the bloody stumps where teeth used to be. It was so real in fact that I had to run to the mirror and check that it wasn’t really happening, that was the last conscious thought I had. From here on in I was in survival mode. I had no idea what I was, who I was, where I was, what was happening, or indeed what reality was like at all. I still felt slightly left of my physical being, and it was disturbing. I was absolutely terrified, but I had no idea what of or indeed why. To quote Hunter S. Thompson, “There is no way of explaining the terror that I felt”.
All I wanted was for it to end I remember thinking, I don’t want to kill myself do I? Then, I was getting flashes of the real world at this point, I noticed something I had written earlier, just in case. There scrawled on a piece of paper, were the words “its all in your head”. Suddenly I remembered that I was on shrooms and none of this was real.
“ I’m going for a shower” I announced, as I left the room, MC eyed my suspiciously. I locked the door behind me. And headed down the stairs. I was feeling OK now, just a little detached. In the shower room I lost it again. After staring in the mirror for a full 10 mins. I got into the shower but quickly got out. The little room created by drawing the shower curtain was too claustrophobic, to intense. I ran to the toilet, I had to get this poison out of me. I puked and puked and stared tripping again. I had the effect of different lenses on my eyes. Looking down the pan everything was normal, but looking in the sink the image had a grainy texture my hands were really small and close to, the sink was far beneath me and when I went to turn on the tap I banged my hand hard on the porcelain, due to my screwed up depth perception. From now on the insanity had left me and I just had nice trippy visuals.
As I re-entered the room I found MC skinning up another joint and I was glad that he seemed fairly composed as I needed someone to talk to. I can’t remember what we talked about partly because the conversation was very strange, like, one of us would say something then, what seemed like an eternity later the other would reply suddenly as if shocked with “what? Did you say something???” But mostly because very disturbing things were happening all around us. As I was talking to MC he was sitting with his head limp, to one side and his face was changing colours through red, purple and green and it was pulsating, swelling and shrinking. Then his head started to melt and seemed to drip on to the floor, but there was no puddle. After this his face started to twist in a demon like manner, like something out of Buffy the vampire slayer and when he yawned his mouth expanded wildly.
After this I went into deep thought and it seemed as if the mysteries of the universe were being shown to me. I saw how everything was connected to everything else in the truly holistic sense of the word. This was truly overwhelming and it is a shame I cannot remember more of the insights I received as I remember feeling very enlightened when it was over. I started to watch TV as MC passed me the joint. Mr. Bean was on and similar things were happening to his head that were happening to MC’s. For a while I drifted in and out of madness and the branch man was paying me occasional visits. As I was looking across at MC on the other bed, we were both leaning against the same wall I had an image of both sitting in what looked like a concrete cell with walls that stretched up for ever. The music we were listening to seemed like an almost visual guiding line running straight in between us and was my only link to reality for about 20 mins. I felt as long as I was close to this line I would be OK. (the song was Riders on The Storm – The Doors – excellent while on the shrooms).
Pretty soon though the weed took over and the madness and visuals wore off. We both slept like babies that night. A few days later MC had a second dose but I saw no point. My trip was so intense I was quite happy to wait a good while before going there again. While I was on the shrooms I swore I’d never do them again but I think I will now I know what to expect.
I would say to anyone who is thinking about trying these, not to do them if they are frightened of the effects as I think this contributed to the nasty few hours in my trip. I would also suggest having someone who is not doing the shrooms around to look after you, as I did contemplate killing myself just to end the trip at one point, thankfully I realised this was not a good idea but I don’t know how others would react.
Also I wouldn't do them while depressed, I think that would be very dangerous, and be careful how much weed you smoke as this can increase the effects. Be careful and have a good trip!!!!!!!!! Oh and good music is must, try and keep it cheerful.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.