A Trip into Mental Breakdown and Insanity
Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Fluoxetine, & Cannabis
Citation: JoeShmo. "A Trip into Mental Breakdown and Insanity: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Fluoxetine, & Cannabis (exp15247)". Erowid.org. Jun 13, 2002. erowid.org/exp/15247
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
2.0 g | oral | Mushrooms - P. cubensis | (ground / crushed) |
T+ 0:00 | 20 mg | oral | Pharms - Fluoxetine | (capsule) |
T+ 0:00 | 1000 mg | oral | Vitamin C | |
T+ 0:30 | 1 bowl | smoked | Cannabis |
BODY WEIGHT: | 240 lb |
It started with a peacefull friday night in March. The storm clouds were out and lightning was brewing. My best friend T had just come over and another friend M was soon to follow later. I had decided that I was going to injest around 2g of the dried godfood with about 1000 mg of Vitamin C because they say it increases the effect. I take no daily medication except for Ginkoba and Cannibas.
I crushed up my 2g to a fine powder and put in a pennut butter and jelly sandwhich. Suddenly I remebered hearing that IMOI's also add to the effect, so I dug up a bottle of Prozak i had around from years ago when I took one 20mg pill.
[Erowid Note: Prozac (fluoxetine) is not an MAOI and is not well known to potentiate the acute effects of psilocybin-containing mushrooms.]
I injested all of these at around the same time, we'll say 10:00pm. T and I go and sit on my front lawn for awhile and wait for M to come over. Both T and M have very cool and relaxing personalities. by this time I can already start to feel some kind of effect, a find of phasing of some sort. This was only my second time taking shrooms (with an extreamly positive first experience) so I'm not sure if the inital effect was from the shrooms or prozak. I felt a little off balence and generally zoned after about 45 minuets. M arrived and as we sat on my lawn watching the lightning flash, the strangeness continued. I decided that maybe a little more enhancing was inorder and smoked a bowl of some decent med. grade cannabis. by this time I was defintly haveing trouble standing and concentrating. I could feel the shrooms.
At about 11:00 my vision started to turn into a kind of sucking effect where the outline of the shapes I was seeing was bubbling towards me, being sucked towards me like a ballon being blown in my direction. I also remember a distinct red color in my vision by this time. I could not communicate very well, or at least understand a conversation. We decided to go inside and get a CD player outside to listen. M and T were sober that night by the way.
While I went upstairs to my room to find a boombox, i kinda got distracted with a video game. But the visuals I had gotten outside had all but vanished when I came inside. When T came up to investigate what was taking me so long, I told him i forgot what i was spose to do, so he found the stero and left me alone. By this time, I'd say 11:30 I was starting to lose track of time.
I believe next i went to my room and got my cd player and listened to it. But I did not feel good for some reason, mentally or physically. About this time my sensetive stomach came aware of this crap i had put inside me and was hurting. I went outside to vomit. This is when my mind started to unravel. Its almost impossible to explain, but when i tried to vomit, i couldn't remember how, though i knew to try and stick my finger down my throat, this was also physically impossible. So there i lay, stuck because i was in pain.
This is the point where I lost it.
11:00. I am in a kind of time loop, stuck with my stomach pains and this giant explosion of thoughts happening, SCREAMING, in my mind all at once. I tried to cry for help, cry for T my best bud. Where was he? I tried to get up, but my reasoning gone. images of my childhood to me death all being forced into my mind at once. images so horrible I cannot speak of if i tried. I do not know where they came from, they must have come from the pain in my stomach itself, a mental reaction that I was now living inside my mind.
Eventually both of the men came outside looking for me around 12:00am, and calmly explained that I was trying to vomit unsuccessfully. I was talking noramlly to them but i dont remember anything i said to them after that. We went inside to listen to some old Johny Cash M had brought, good stuff. But the pain was too much again. For some reason i just could not explain what was happening to the others. I decided, or SOMEONE decided to go to the bathroom and try to vomit again. I closed and locked the door in the dark.
Have you ever imagined what it is like to be insane? Ever imagined what its like to be alone, SO ALONE, traped in your mind with every sight and sound and image and thought and emotion SCREAMING in your mind, almost compacting itself and exploding into one idea and sensation that destroys reality. I was sweating alot so I striped to my boxers to feel more comfortable lying there on the bathroom floor staring up into nothingness. I remember spitting and rolling around alot, licking the floor and my fingers like an infant. i don't know why. I was also thinking alot and saying out lound how was gona get through this and move on. It was making up Johny Cash songs. It was rambling on and on about nothing and everything. It was like my mind and my body were seperated by a delayed reaction in time.
At around 2:00am someone asked me if I was okay because I was making alot of noise. I babbled something to them and stumbled up stairs to my room. The mental screaming was still in effect and the stomach pain returned. i layed there looking at a grim image a trash can with a faint light infront of my bed. Much of what went on in the batthroom continued, only I was much more frightened now because I could keep track of time, which was crawling. I didn't nod off until about 6:00am, and then i only got about an hour or so of 'sleep' until i woke again from nightmares. I cried the next morning to my mother, who understood and comforted me.
I was FUCKED for about a week mentally over that.
So let this be a warning to you: watch your combinations. this mind fuck could have been the product of any number of factors, but i believe the Prozak + Shrooms was the bad move. also make sure you have someone with ALL the time cause it is destructive to your mind to face this shit alone like I did most the night. Thank you for listening and be safe.
Exp Year: 2002 | ExpID: 15247 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jun 13, 2002 | Views: 38,653 |
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Pharms - Fluoxetine (80) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3) |
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