Citation: AudyBee. "The Police Busted the Rapture: An Experience with Mushrooms & MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp17736)". Erowid.org. Jul 3, 2005. erowid.org/exp/17736
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For a long time I had always heard great things about hippie flipping. I've done countless pills, and I've shroomed several times. But I never tried them together! Well the first time I finally tried it was my last. The ecstacy was great, especially since I hadn't dropped in months. But it was the shrooms that made me totally and completely flip out. This experience has changed me in a eerie, strange way I can only attempt to explain.
It was a beautiful weekend in June, and I was at an awesome four-day camp out somewhat near Mammoth Lakes, California. The people throwing the party and the friends I came with were some of the most awesome people I've ever met. Sparing the details, the second night I had one Ecstasy pill and an eighth of Mushrooms. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hippie-flip, so first I just took half of my pill. I thought I'd take it from there.
Even though I used to be an avid user, I hadn't dropped in months, so when I started feeling it, the pill hit me really hard. It was wonderful! I was having a great time, and I took the other half within 45 minutes. A while later, I was pretty gone, and I decided it would be cool if I took some of my Mushrooms. I popped in a few caps and stems, along with an orange to kill the taste. I'm going to guess that it was around 2 Grams, since there was a cap and a few stems left in the bag the next day. Normally I you'd think that 2 grams wouldn't be too intense. I'm not sure if it was just me, or if they were really potent, but those two grams threw me for an incredible ride.
The feelings from the ecstacy seemed to fade when I started feeling the Shrooms. I was standing in the dance area with some of my friends, looking around at the dark shadows dancing around me. There was a big bonfire not too far from the DJ setup. It was SO cold, so I sort of wandered from my friends over to the fire. When I was staring at the fire, THAT's when I started to really, really feel the Mushrooms. The orange glowing wood and the sparks were a total trip, it was great to watch.
Unfortunately, earlier that day, there was some drama between a couple of friends and I. This may seem insignificant, but this relates to what happened during my trip. The person who had sold me the Ecstacy, 'Joe', blamed the person that I brought with me, 'Brian' for some of his missing E pills. It was horrible, I had to defend him, but 'Joe' didn't believe me. He was so angry, it was awful. Some strange, negative feelings were still lingering in my mind, but I guess I didn't realize that until after I started tripping.
That drama, along with a fight my boyfriend and I were in at the time, should have been warning signs that I was not in the right state of mind to take a hallucinogen. My trip started turning negative and scary. I realized that my friends hadn't come with me to the fire, and I started seeing everyone staring at me. I starting believing that everyone was laughing at me because I looked like I was totally gone. I was really embarrassed.
And then, it got way, way worse. Some cars were driving towards the camp site, and for some reason I believed that it was the police, and they were busting the party. I got scared, and left the fire, looking for my friends. I couldn't find them, so I headed back to our campsite. Some of my friends were having a sort of bad trip too, so the mood at our camp wasn't the best environment for me. I stayed anyway, I was too gone to go anywhere else.
It was a full moon that night, so I was sitting by our fire, staring at the glowing moon intensely. It seemed to be alive! To be honest, there are blank spots in my memory. I can't completely remember what I was thinking and what was going on. But I do remember that I didn't like it. As I sat there, 'Brian' was sleeping in my van, but I didn't know where he was.
'Joe' had, in my strange twisted world, the most evil expressions on his face. I remember getting scared, and asking everyone where 'Brian' was. But even though over and over they answered me, somehow I didn't understand them. For some reason, I started to believe that 'Joe' had KILLED 'Brian' over the E pills! I opened the door to the van, but the lights didn't come on because the battery was dead. I heard 'Brian's' breathing, but in the shadows I saw his mutilated body parts strewn all over the seats covered in blood! I don't understand how I believed that I really saw that when I could hear him snoring. !!!
That was it, my trip was going straight to hell. I had to go pee really badly all of the sudden, so I went with a couple of my friends to the port-o-pottys. I remember going into one of the stalls, and before I started to do my business, I looked up at the roof of the port-o-potty. I guess it was a light plastic, so the light shined through. I was still trippin' about the police busting the party, so for some strange reason I believed that they were lifting the port-o-potty I was in with a giant crane!!! I pulled my pants up quickly before I could even pee, and jumped out of the bathroom. I was too gone to even tell my friends. I remember that as we walked back towards our camp, in my vision everyone that we passed was staring at me, mocking me. (The next day, I asked my friend if people had really been staring at me like that, and she assured me they hadn't, it was all in my head.)
Believe it or not, it gets worse. Back at the campsite, we were all sitting around the fire, trying to stay warm. Someone in the group made the mistake of saying 'We're all going crazy!' I took them seriously. I looked around, and in my view, everyone was showing fear and guilt in their strange facial expressions. I started getting really strange visuals. Everyone looked like they had two faces, multiple eyes, noses, and mouths. I was way too flipped out to enjoy those visuals.
During this next part of my trip, I don't remember anything about what I saw, or what was around me. I just remember losing all touch with reality. Reality was gone. Honestly, I can find no way to explain how this felt. Reality was so twisted and strange, I started to believe that it was the Rapture, as foretold in The Bible. I believed that it was the end of time as we knew it; it was time for Jesus to return. And I felt so horribly, horribly guilty that I was on drugs. I can stress enough how scared I was.
I do not remember much of what happened after that. But slowly, my insane mushroom trip faded along with the night. The sun rose, and reality began to come back to me. Once I was able to think cognitively again, I was in shock. I couldn't believe what I had gone through that night. 'Brian' was alive and well rested, I was overjoyed to learn. The world was still same as before, the rapture hadn't happened. The police had never came, we were so far out in the middle of nowhere. I swore to myself that I never wanted to even touch Mushrooms again, so I gave what I had left to a friend.
As I sat there reflecting, I felt like I had been given a second chance. But at the same time, I felt absolutely humiliated that I let myself go off the deep end like that. I apologized to my friends many times, and thanked them for helping me get through it. Now that I look back, I believe that part of the reason I felt so much guilt was because, along with my recent studies of Christianity, I had told my boyfriend that I wasn't going to trip. I now realize that I should have paid much more attention to how I felt that night. I attempted to use Mushrooms to distract me from what I was going through. I should have realized that Mushrooms will not push away my emotions; they will make me dive right into them.
Unfortunately, The terrible feelings that I felt (when I thought that it was time for the Rapture) still linger with me to this day. Since this experience, I have been getting depressed and have lost contact with most of the friends that I went to the camp out with. As I was typing this, my hands were shaking, and my heart started beating rapidly. It's a painful memory to revisit. I still believe in God, and I realize that a lot of the feelings I had that night were only a fragment of my imagination.
Even though I had a 'Bad Trip', I do not tell others that Mushrooms are bad. Each person learns and experiences life in their own unique way. But to anyone who is planning on experiencing Mushrooms: PLEASE, please, look deep into yourself. Make sure you are happy, you are stress-free, and you are ready for to trip responsibly. Mushrooms are NOT an escape. Go take a few shots, or roll a fat blunt if that's what you're looking for. :-)
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