Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Siddhartha. "Incomparable Cosmic Bliss: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp18295)". Erowid.org. Aug 4, 2005. erowid.org/exp/18295
I have had a few drug experiences that stand out above the rest; I would like to share one with you now. First, a little background.
At the time of this experience I was a junior in college. I began using drugs freshman year, and they basically changed my life. When this trip took place I had worked with marijuana, mushrooms, LSD, salvia and opium (I have since tried cocaine and DXM). From the first, drugs were entirely a spiritual guide, and they renewed and redefined my interest in meditation, energy work, etc.
These shrooms were from my first attempt at growing. At all times during the growth cycle, I treated my shrooms with love and respect, sending them good energy at least once a day. It turns out this connection was repaid many times over.
In preparation for this trip, I waited until for a night when all my suitemates would be gone. I made sure I had no outstanding obligations. I also spent the week prior doing extra meditation, especially ‘Inner Smile’ and other Taoist energy techniques. The day of the trip I ate very little. Finally I was ready to begin. At 10:25, I ate 3.3 grams of my dried shrooms with a little honey (I really don’t know why people hate the taste so much. A little bland, but not bad). I smoked about 1/4 bowl good indoor bud from my favorite piece. I find smoking really helps the trip. I then settled back, smoking a hookah and listening to Debussy.
Around 10:55 I felt the onset. Usually it takes over an hour for me to come up, so I figured this would be unusually strong, but I wasn’t prepared for what hit me: in literally five minutes, I went from almost baseline to an intense trip. I barely had time to walk three feet to my bed and lie down. For a few minutes, there were extreme color oddities, perspective hallucinations, etc. I quickly passed to tripping so hard that external vision sort of lost meaning. I sensed the rapid approach of a life force vaster than I could imagine…this was the ‘Mushroom Consciousness.’ Then it embraced me…
…and I instantly felt a divine love so powerful it blew my ego to pieces and scattered them across the cosmos. For a second I was frightened by this, and then I realized that trying to resist wouldn’t work, so I relaxed
and abandoned any shred of tension. I saw that this was the way I should always live - that I should always do what was absolutely natural. I saw beyond the confines of my lifetime, and I realized that my True Self was engaged in what Hinduism calls lila - deliberately forgetting my nature and assuming a mundane existence, solely for the experience of rediscovering my origins. I was so unbelievably thankful that I could spend eternity in this game of Bliss. I saw that no matter how hopeless life on earth seems, access to this cosmic love is literally right at our fingertips - all we need to do is genuinely ask for it. During the whole trip, it was obvious that these were all things I knew, but had just forgotten.
The one visual that I had during this part was when I closed my eyes. I could see very clearly a huge, pulsating, fractal form, like a sea-anemone. It was made of different ‘qualities’ of light, the ‘astral’ analogy to color. I took this form to be the mushroom consciousness, and it showered me with beauty and peace.
After about three hours, I came down quite rapidly. There were some lingering visuals, but they quickly faded. I went to sleep easily.
A few thoughts: first, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that these experiences are far more ‘real’ than everyday life. Everyone must reach his own conclusions of course, but the sheer intensity of this and similar experiences has removed my skepticism completely (and I used to be a hardcore atheist). Second, I think both the love I sent my shrooms while growing and the energy work I did prior to tripping were amplified by the shrooms, leading to my immensely positive experience.
Even if you don’t buy my New-Age spin, I strongly recommend mentally preparing by clearing your schedule, relaxing, avoiding distractions, etc. Finally, on a more general note (psychedelic righteousness alert) my journeys have taught me many things, but most importantly: this is it. This is not a movie, this is my life, NOW. Whatever I put into it is what you I get out. I was going to go off about reviving the ’60s and ending war and all that, but I’ll just end with this: if I approach the world with love, Iwill receive love in return.
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