Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: AlkalineTrio. "Lasting Enlightenment and Euphoria: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp21650)". Erowid.org. Dec 31, 2004. erowid.org/exp/21650
Background: my past experience with drugs is fairly limited. I've smoked pot now and then for about two years, on average I'd say once a month or less. Aside from that, I hadn't ever taken any sort of psychoactive substance. My friend and I had talked about trying schrooms for a while, so when the chance presented itsself, we decided to give it a go. We each ate 2 grams of dried p. cubensis (I think). We ate about a cap and a half and some stem. We then walked over to the campus of his university, a beautiful place with a meandering stream. We walked along the stream, waiting for the trip to start. Neither of us had any idea what to expect.
After about 20 minutes, I began to feel a bit altered. I was very excited and happy, kind of like a caffeine buzz. The water began to look beautiful. The sun had set and it was quickly becoming dark. As I looked up at the cloudy sky, I could see energy flowing through the clouds, which took the form of a giant face. I told my friend about the face and he saw it too. We walked to a beautifully illuminated tower and lay beneath it, looking up at it. Both of us started to come up fast. As I looked up at the tower, it began to move and warp. It was incredibly beautiful. Both of us began re-defining gravity as a sort of aura around the tower. The universe seemed to orbit the tower, and the tower, we both agreed, was heaven. When an airplane flew over our heads and disobeyed our laws of physics, it was extremely strange, disturbing, almost hideous. We shared a clove cigarrete, it felt great. I only took a couple puffs because I was afraid the nicotine buzz would make my trip too intense. The buzz I got seemed to not wear off for about an hour. The trees surrounding us seemed to be coming closer.
Things had a slight two-dimensional quality, as if the surroundings were a picture. We decided to get up and walk down a main walkway, downhill. We walked down the stairs and I felt giddy, but my body felt extremely heavy. Gravity seemed to be turned up a few notches. There were a few people here and there, and my friend was walking around in a planter, stairing at an old rusty pipe. I got really paranoid, I felt bad and didn't want the people to look at us, so I started begging him to get out of the plants. This was the first negative aspect of the trip, but it would have a few ripples later. As we continued walking, we came to a grassy area with a beautiful tree covered in flowers. Each of us took turns climbing up a little bit, being surrounded by all that beauty. My friend picked a flower and said it was amazing, but I couldn't pick it. When I tried, I felt as if I were a part of the tree, a connection had been made. The tree was telling me not to pick it. I simply could not do it, just as I couldn't rip one of my own fingers off.
We continued through the school and began to emerge into the surrounding town. I felt a vague sense of foreboding, I didn't want to be around all those people. There seemed to be a barrier between the campus and the town, one I didn't want to cross. But my friend was hungry so we went into town to eat. I couldn't eat a thing, I felt very full, though I hadn't eaten since that morning. We saw a strange japanese restaurant, and crept through it very slowly. We were going to order something, when a lady yelled something in Japanese and we turned and ran out. My friend criticized me for being racist against japanese people, but I was just scared of the severity of her tone. His comments made me extremely sad, however, and while he ate his food, I felt as if we couldn't connect while on shrooms. A friend from home saw me and I spoke to him, and I felt as if I was using a certain part of my brain to communicate with him, a part I only use for certain people. I had to shut down parts of my real brain, or else he'd know I was on shrooms.
I got a call from a girl, asking how things were going, and I just told her things were 'very confusing' and I'd see her soon. We went back to the dorms and sat in a lounge with four people: my friend, me, and two girls who were roommates and friends of ours. This is where my trip turned around for the better.
The next three hours were incredible, and have left me with an afterglow that I still feel, 72 hours later. When I saw the girl N, I looked into her eyes and realized she was pure good. I thought back to all of our previous encounters and realized that she was
pure good. I formed a strong bond with her. I could look at people that walked in and instantly understand them by looking at their eyes, their facial expressions, their mannerisms. I got a strange visual when holding a box of cereal. It felt like my hands were not a part of my body, as if I was looking at a picture of my hands holding a cereal box. My hands seemed bloated and strange, and this made me laugh hysterically. In fact, the whole period we spent in the study lounge was filled with jokes and laughter. my friend and I finally connected, for he had come closer to my level, and we related to the girl why we were best friends.
One of the trippiest parts of the experience was when I went to the bathroom. As I was urinating, I felt an immense dark presence behind me, but it wasn't exactly malevolent, just dark. My own shadow was taking the form of the presence. If I leaned forward, I could block more light and make the presence grow. i began rocking back and forth, and it felt as if the whole universe was rocking with me, on my axis in that stall. It was really fun, but I wanted to get back to socializing. I was surprised at the emotional aspect of the trip, I had expected more visuals, but hadn't accounted for the deep emotional euphoria I was experiencing. Later we went downstairs and I watched 'Rounders,' and came down slowly.
The best part of my trip has been subsequent time. I feel reborn. I used to avoid eye-contact with students around my school, and felt awkward when I walked down the hall, with someone else walking towards me at the other end. I used to be pessimistic and see negatives in lots of people. The trip gave me a new outlook. I've learned to look at people in a positive light. I see some goodness in everyone. I love giving eye contact and a smile to everyone I see. I feel alive. I feel much more confident and free. Its been three days since the trip, and the euphoria has yet to wear off. I used to be addicted to caffeine, and even though I got little sleep during the weekend, I haven't needed it since. I hesitate to shroom again simply because my first experience was so perfect, and I feel as if I've learned a lot from them. I'll probably wait awhile and try a stronger dosage next time.
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