DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.33 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:20	0.17 tablets	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

2:10AM
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I took around 1/3 of a crown and dissolved it in warm water. It dissolved rapidly without even stirring it... wonder whats in the pill besides MDMA? Anyway, I took it down at 1:56. I'll probably need to supplement, and I'll probably take more at 2:30, enough to leave me with half the pill. I don't know if I'll take a hit of MeO, but its an idea. It's 2:17 and I've had a warm feeling for a few minutes, the first signs of effect. I plan to write alot this trip... thats my primary motivation this time, in fact. I'm going to go prepare the booster dose now.

2:31AM
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I went to make the booster and noticed some powder I'd spilled, so I added it as well. I put in about 1ml of 70 proof vodka to help speed absorption (just a guess). I took it at 2:30, so I've got about 1/2 of a Crown in me now. Since the amount I spilled was pretty big, I probably won't feel alot until this second dose hits me. Guess I'm going to be up pretty late!

3:03AM
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Definately beginning to feel effects! There is a pervasive body warmth. Sound has a different quality to it... Sort of as if drifting by. In a way its a lot like the way sounds seem at the tail end of an acid trip. Colors are much more vibrant than normal, and there is a sharpness or crispness to things. Depth perception is dramatically enhanced. I'm getting the beginnings of mild nystagmus (eye-wiggle) as well. I hear wind chimes outside, other than that things are quite silent. The come-on from MDMA is very different from traditional psychedelics. With LSD for example, its a steady gradual climb. MDMA seems to come on in steps. First nothing. Then physical sensations. Then the stage I'm in now, with visual and auditory changes. Then the full effect. And of course the sensations are pretty different. This stage reminds me a lot of the tail end of LSD, before I fall asleep. There's even a strange sort of almost-tiredness that usually hits right before the peak... the desire to lay down and curl up - but not to actually sleep. I'm starting to feel it now, actually. If I lean back and close my eyes, I have an undefined sensation of motion, as if flying ot maybe falling. I'm going to lie down and turn out the lights and let the peak come on.

3:48AM
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Damn! A lot more time passed than I expected. Almost half an hour since I turned out the lights. I've been in my peak for a while. Laying in bed, I was having a pretty entactogenic trip. I thought about alot of mundane things, examining a lot of things going on in my life right now, nothing that's unusually interesting. Eventually it shifted into thoughts about various women in my life, mostly ones from long ago, and oddly, a lot of them girls I never had any real romantic interest in (consciously at least). MDMA has a very feminine nature, so I guess its only natural... Anyway, I'm not looking for an entactogenic trip, so I got up and turned on the lights.

I've got a pack of strawberry Pop Rocks candy. On acid, they're great. Hmm... not so with MDMA. They make incredibly loud noises, and the flavor is almost soapy. Save the rest for later.

After tonight I won't be using MDMA for a while. I've got 2 1/2 Crowns left, and I don't want to waste them. I've done it 4 weekends in a row, and I'm not getting near as much from it this time. Taking a hit of MeO feels like it would be a waste, but if I smoke some pot, I'll be in a nice, mellow place for writing. Right now, though, I'm almost kind of bored. Well, no, that's misleading. It's more just the realization that this E could've been put to better use another time.

4:17AM
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Pot definately helped some... I mean, I like where I'm at and where I've been tonight, its just not the full potential of MDMA. (4:20, toke!) This is purely recreational, not psychedelic.

Actually, the pot's helping *alot*! Pot and MDMA have a really good synergy. There's a very noticable visual enhancement and physical sensation. I wonder if my lowered reation to the E is due to lowered serotonin levels (well, besides just plain tolerance)? I should probably take steps to increase my serotonin after doing MDMA 4 weeks in a row. High tryptophan foods and all.

I've got a strong desire to write, but I dont know about what.

4:36AM
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Fuck! It just hit me... I was thinking 'What should I write about, I'm just sitting here writing about the effects.' Then I realized I'd fallen for a trap for novice trippers, and felt dumb. I've been trying to control or direct it, wanting things to go one way when it wanted to go another. I should've let things ride with the initial entactogenic phase... I wanted to write though I've got nothing to write about. You can't force an MDMA trip to go a certain way, any more than any other psychedelic. Fighting it is counterproductive. On acid, it can make you have a bad trip. On E, its like the E just gives up and you get a feeling of wasting your time. I took a half hit, with some sort of tolerance from doing it every week, and it should be a mild introspective trip. Realizing that, and letting go of my internal resistance, everything instantlly got better. Tonight's not for writing some long psychedelic revelation. It's for chilling out, thinking about life and friends, and good things, and just relaxing and being. It's not too late, and I think this in itself is a revelation.

It's 4:55, I'm off to flow and be alive.

Exp Year: 1998	ExpID: 2366
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 15, 2001	Views: 38,501
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MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)