Citation: Sever. "A Nightmare?: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp27570)". Erowid.org. Feb 26, 2007. erowid.org/exp/27570
This would be my first time with a psychotropic substance, although I smoke weed and hash quite regularly (I live in Belgium, and Holland is 30 minutes by car.) I also had two disapointing experiences with nutmeg. It was like being ill for about two days.
To start with, I smoked alot of weed the day before. Next day I was still dizzy, and had this crazy idea to go to Holland and look for mushrooms. In the afternoon I took the train, and to make a long story short I finally found a good soul who sold me 3g of dried mexican mushrooms. He was helpful, and told me to start with a low dose, which I intended to do anyway, since I am extra careful about these things.
The way back home was long, and it was already about 8 in the evening. On the train I decided to try a small piece of a mush, just to see what happens. I have to say that due to the rather large amount of weed I smoked the other day, I was still not really 100% focused. After I ate the small piece I felt nothing. It even didn't tasted so bad. I was home at about 9.
My wife was abroad, so I wanted to call her, as we agreed. She had her cell phone closed, and that worried me. First sign I shouldn't have done it. After about an hour, we managed to talk, all was well, but I noticed that I was laughing rather unusually at the phone, sign that that little piece (0.2 g maybe) had actually had an effect.
After being reasurred that my wife was OK, I decided to proceed. One more thing I have to mention here is that the next day I had to work, but I decided I will take 1/2 day off in the morning, if things looked bad.
T0: Took the 1 g of mush, resisting the impulse to take more. I start listening to some music, waiting for the mush to kick in.
T0+30: I start feeling it, it is a subtle change, gradual, and not unpleasent. I am a bit anctious about it.
T0+45: I lay down in my bed, with my eyes closed. The music gives rise to nice visuals, and I see some flickering wite lights. I have a feeling like someone is protecting me, and this white light is the source of it. Since I remember something about 45 minutes until the mush settles down, I think to myself: this is it, I have nothing to fear, I can handle all this. I notice that it is rather cold in the room, since the heating was not working properly. Anyway, outside there's maybe 12 C, and I take an extra blanket. No biggy.
T0+1h: The cold starts to really bother me. The effects of the mush are increasing exponentially, as time goes by. I start to shiver really bad, and the amount of blankets and extra cloths seem to have no effect. In my head it starts to feel bad, it is like my thoughts are on a highway.
T0+1.5h: I am freezing really, and I am afraid this can destroy me. I decide to take a hot bath, ans I do so. The water is really hot, but it seems to me it doesn't help alot. This is the WORST cold of my life. I am sitting in the steamy water, shivering.
Alot of weird things happen in the house: TV cable is not working any more (for real, it still doesn't), the radiator in the bathroom gives a small flame and stops. I have the feeling that everything stopped working around me, and I am trapped. I want to go out, to run, but I manage to convince myself that it will pass.
T0+2.5h: It seems the bath did me some good, and the awful cold is not so bad now. I manage to start the heating, and this conforts me a bit. At least I won't freeze to death (I actually believed it). My mind is still on the highway. all my thoughts are wild, and I cannot follow them. It is really bad. I want this to be over. I have the constant obsession that I am destroyng myself, and that if I will pass this one, I'll never take 'drugs' again. I want to throw away my stash of weed and hash. What if things go really bad, and I have to call an ambulance? Police will come, and I have an small fortune worth of drugs.
The idea comes into my mind: I have to see a movie, something nice. This will make time go by, and soon the 3 hours mentioned in the reports (I was obsessed by the three hours) will pass by. Now my quest is to find the DVD of Ice Age, which is really funny. This is not easy, since I am impared, and I search in the same place for long times, and I come back again. FINALLY!!! I am overwhelmed with joy, and I give proud salutes to THEM. See, I got you. Bring your worst now!
I start the movie, and it is really hard to follow the action. I get focused on small details, and my ming is hyperaccelerated. I never took speed, but this is how it must feel. One thing bothers me, and I cannot watch the movie anymore: I must throw away the weed, for my own good. I will start a new life, plus the police can come whenever they want: I'll be clean.
I take a plastic bag full of weed and hash, all sorts I collected from my trips to Holland, plus the rest (2g) of mushrooms. I flush them down the toiled, with difficulty. This image of the dope going down the toilet is a cliche from alot of movies, and this makes me laugh. I feel better now. One more thing: I have to 'clean' myself as well. I induce vomiting. I know the mush is in my system already, but I also klnow this is gonna help me. The vomiting gives me extra adrenaline, and I wake up a bit. I look in the mirror, and my face is unrecognisable. I wash my face with cold water, and it feels like somebody is giving me the towel, and helping me. Maybe it's my father who died long time ago.
I feel better after vomiting. I go to bed, and keep on watching the movie. I become sleepy, but my mind is still on 'speed'. Well, I better have some sleep, couse I cannot watch the movie any more. With a bit of luck, tommorow I'll start a new life, without drugs. Now, sleep. The three hours are gone, right?
T+3.5h: Wrong. I am still peaking. I feel bad, BAD BAD. I could only describe it as loosing sanity. It is a terrible thing too, not being in control of your mind. Visuals (when I close my eyes) are flashing before me incoherently, at high speed, and I realise I need help. I start praying loud, resisting the urge to call an ambulance. The demons from my head mock me, but I continue. I start praying: Jesus, son of God, protect me, the sinner. I do this with every breath. I am not a religious man, but this helps alot. This prayer is used by the Orthodox monks from Romania, Russia and Greece.
The inner demons mock me, repeating my prayer with their broken voices, but I don't give up. It's like my ancestors look at me, and say: be a MAN. They help me, their collective suport gives me power. The dacs were the ancestors of my people, some 2000 years ago (I come from Romania). They worshipped the wolf, and my ancestors are now a pack of wolfes, strong and brave, on my side. COME NOW! Nothing can stand in my way.
T0+4h: The trip is weak now. I am also tired. Sometimes, I have moments like I am in the threshold of a special moment, but I come back. Still bad moments, on and off, but it's clear the worst is over.
T0+5: Exhausted, I fall asleep, finally. I plan to become a christian, to start a new life from tomorrow on. Never take mushrooms or weed ever again.
Next day (today), I dunno what to make of it. Overall I think the bad moments were predominating. Was it worth it? Yes. Would I try it again? Not soon. I knew that you have to respect the mushrooms, and yet I planned my trip acting on an impulse.
Mistakes: no sitter, having to work tomorrow (which added to the stress). I knew all this, and yet I fucked up. There were some really BAD times yesterday night (not to mention the loss of my stash ;-)). Can I give an advice? Don't do what I did. Mushrooms are not like weed, you don't take them for fun, to kill time. It was a rich experience, but should I have planned it better I would have actually enjoyed it. Also, the mushrooms were perhaps not the right sort for me, maybe too speedy. I only have one thought: what the hell would have happened to me if I would have taken the 3g?
Take care, and respect for those heavy mushrooms eaters.
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