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Transcendental Cheese
Mushrooms (P. cubensis)
by OnTheBeach
Citation:   OnTheBeach. "Transcendental Cheese: An Experience with Mushrooms (P. cubensis) (exp29120)". Jun 10, 2007.

3.0 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (dried)


I knew full well that I had three pieces of coursework to be doing, but somewhere in the back of my mind I thought: 'You know what? That can all wait... there's something more important you need to do first!'. The important thing I had to do turned out to be ingesting around 3g of dried P. Cubensis. So at around mid-day, I did, and as usual it tasted like utter crap. This would turn out to be my fifth mushroom experience, and I felt very optimistic about it. That day just had a good vibe about it.

Only four days previously (third mushroom trip) I had had an incredibly confusing and dangerous experience where (as far as I can gather) I relieved a 'God Complex' repressed memory. Hopefully I will be able to share that experience with you also, but for now let's just focus on this trip.

Soon after ingestion, I began to wonder if I had actually taken enough (didn't have accurate enough scales to correctly measure). The only way to gauge it was to wait and see how strong the effects turned out to be. The first thing I did was to rapidly compose a Chillout playlist and lie back (for England!). Effects came on very gently and soon I found that I could switch between reality and mushroom-reality by thinking/focusing.

Picked up a mirror and found that if I stared at my reflection that half of my face looked as if it was melting away. One half would remain youthful, the rest would slowly dissolve into mush. After fooling around for another half hour with the mirror I started feeling really sick. Went upstairs to the bathroom, but by this stage I could feel it coming on really strongly and my thoughts were becoming very very irrational indeed.

I knew that I needed to barf, and I could just about figure out that I also needed to wee and poo also, but because I was so damn confused I ended up just standing there wondering what I should do. It was around this time that I started yawning, and by that I mean yawning absolutely uncontrollably - and each time I yawned my eyes would water. I kept thinking to myself: 'You need to piss, shit, puke, you can't see a damn thing, and you can't stop yawning - this is pointless so you may as well go back downstairs and lay down!!!' So I managed to get back downstairs, although it took me about 2 minutes. Luckily, none of my housemates saw me, although I had a couple close calls.

So I lay back down again and by this time the music sounded fantastic. It couldn't have been more perfect. I still had the impression that I would be sick though. Back upstairs. Still confused. Still couldn't work out what I was supposed to do. For some reason I picked up a bottle of toothpaste, opened the window and tried to throw it outside. It didn't work though, and the bottle balanced itself neatly on the ledge, and I thought that was pointless so I picked it back up and put it back. For some reason I kept thinking over and over again: 'I am transcendental cheese!'. I also identified that there was actually eight days in a week, the eighth day being a day between Monday and Tuesday, namely - Cheeseday!!!

Back downstairs, and now things begin to get very silly indeed. I slipped into a trance state where I seemed to be reliving most of my childhood. Although I'm not totally clear on this, I remember being able to switch between just about every memory I had of my childhood, and I saw that they were all connected. At the time this was all very profound, and I felt that I was releasing more repressed memories. Probably around an hour later I snapped out of it and by this time I was feeling *perfect*! I was heavenly. I felt as if a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was pure again. I was using an untainted mind, relieved of every hurt and anguish I had ever received.

I lay there for another hour. For some reason I felt the need to keep slapping the wall, and that continued for a good while. My uncontrollable yawning would not relent, so I just decided to flow with it and ended up creating some highly original and quite musical exotic sounding yawns. I got up and surveyed my room. The door was open and had probably been so for a long time so I closed it. My music was sounding so awesome that I had this crazy idea that I would collect up all 4 of my speakers and lie on my bed covered in my speakers to see if that improved the music.

It didn't, and I just ended up wondering if I had totally lost my mind. I got up again and tried to put them back but couldn't remember where they were all supposed to go. More strange thoughts. I decided that the world would be a better place if instead of waging wars, world leaders would have an international 'BMX On The Moon' championship (BMX On The Moon - old computer game) to see who was best.

I kept thinking of Ozzy Osborne in the episode of The Osbournes where he is bearing his arse at the fire and shouting: 'I like warming my butt by the fire!!!'. I decided to do a recap of it all and ended up repeating over and over again: 'I like warming my butt by the fire! I like BMX on the moon! I am transcendental cheese! Today is cheeseday!'. By now I was starting to drift back into reality and I could fully appreciate the hilarity of the situation. Visuals were still kind of strong though. With open eyes everything was so bright it was difficult to look at, with closed eyes I saw stunningly beautiful ribbons and rainbows.

I knew I was still tripping and that it would take another hour or two for the effects to wear off so I lay back once more, this time content in the knowledge that today I solved most of the problems in my life. What's more, it only took four hours! Mushrooms are indeed a truly amazing life form.

The reason why this turned out to be a good trip is because I believed it would be a good trip beforehand. The reason why four days before this I lost my mind and believed I was God and that 'life' was all some big trick is because I had challenged the mushrooms to show me their dark side. They did, and it was the most confusing thing I've ever experienced. Being able to integrate the concept of transcendental cheese was a hell of a lot easier, that's for sure. :)

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 29120
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 10, 2007Views: 4,975
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), General (1)

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