Citation: JMA. "Confrontation With Self: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp30821)". Erowid.org. Aug 10, 2020. erowid.org/exp/30821
I had been interested in taking mushrooms for quite a long time, and had been researching them intensely online. I got a call from one of my friends one night who said that he had found a guy who had made some chocolates and was selling them. My younger brother convinced me to buy some so I bought 2 chocolates, both containing 2.5gs of psilocybin mushrooms. My younger brother took his at 6pm and I decided I watch him come up and then I would take mine an hour later. He became very tired looking, and was walking around very slowly. He had taken his shirt off and eventually ended up taking off all of his clothes except for his boxers and went to his room and laid in his bed and listened to miles davis.
I decided I had better break into this stuff too so I took mine at about 6:45. I began to feel very tired, but I was awake of alot of things. I had some friends over and was watching them mess around and play video games. I began to worry about my brother and wonder what he was doing. I went upstairs to find him and I found him in my kitchen staring at one of our cats. I began to get really frightened and I was afraid that he was completely freaking out and loosing it. I decided I needed to be alone for a bit, so I went to my garage and brought one of my friends with me and let him smoke a bit of pot. I sat in my garage while he smoked and I began to notice the most amazing things. Whenever I moved my hands, everything in my vision that was behind my hands would move in whatever direction my hands moved, like a boat oar that is being paddled in water. I got up and went to watch some TV and that's when I began to think really really hard. It was almost like I couldn't stop thinking. Thoughts began to just flow into my head and I could not ignore them. I had to concentrate and analyze everything that came into my mind. I have read that sometimes when certain people take alot of mushrooms or if a person experiences events while on mushrooms, it acts as a sort of catalyst and then they have a confrontation with the self. The person comes face to face with their fears and doubts and insecurities all at once in their mind.
This happened to me.
From what I can remember, I decided that I was the one that freaked out and had this revelation because I thought my brother was freaking out. I learned from this experience that I don't need to worry so much about him and other people and that I need to let them be, and that everything will be ok. I learned that no one can have total control in this life and that if I try to take control, I will just end up with a disaster in my hands. Later that night, my brother and two of my friends retreated to my room and sat and talked about everything. Just, alot of different stuff in our lives. It was amazing. I got so close to those guys on that night, and I don't think I would have been able to had the mushrooms not put me in that state of mind.
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