Thinning Out Your Physical Library?
If you have books or periodicals about drugs, contribute them to Erowid!
Your old books will find a good home in our library or for a supporter. [details]
The Ultimate Paradox
Mushrooms - P. cubensis & Syrian Rue
by iopener
Citation:   iopener. "The Ultimate Paradox: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis & Syrian Rue (exp36017)". Jan 17, 2023.

T+ 0:00
3.5 g oral Syrian Rue (dried)
  T+ 2:00 5 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (tea)
  T+ 0:00   smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  


Voyagers/participants: A &B
Date: 13th February 2004
Timeset: 21:00-21:17 (ingestion)
Astral event/phase of moon: cloud (not visible)

Dose: 5g dry psilocybe cubensis and 3.5g Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) The mushrooms were made into “magic chocolate”, Syrian rue was place in vegi-caps for which we had to compensate for.

Setting: A’s room

At 19:00 we promptly took the Syrian rue in order to be able to take the magic chocolate at 21:00. We had hardly anything to eat but a ham sandwich was ingested at approximately at 18:30.

At 21:00 – 21:17 we drank the magic chocolate and went upstairs to my room. Previously we had arranged a shrine to Buddha and had switched on a lava lamp which was now fully glowing and morphing. We lit up a Nag Champa incense stick and chilled out with Pink Floyd. We felt utter euphoria which was near to being like an Ecstasy induced state, we began to feel heavy and weighted and on listening to “when the tigers broke free” by Pink Floyd we were exceptionally moved and almost wanted to cry.

With the period of non-game ecstasy fading away came the dramatic period of hallucinations (2nd Bardo). As the visuals became stronger the green glow of the lava lamp spread throughout the room, throughout the trip intense red shrouded my vision in short intervals which was fucking amazing as I had never experienced this before. My friend B was experiencing the same effects and as it had been his first strong and subsequent ego-death experience he was awed and inspired in an unimaginable way.

I felt it wasn’t intense enough so we decided to go for a walk as I thought it would turn on external stimulus and make the experience more intense. We trekked half-way up the nearby track and I was fed up so we sat in the middle of it. We then decided to head back for the room as that was the only place B felt safe, and I too wanted to lie down.

My friend and I soon got back to the room and pondered while listening to Enigma. I find it lets my brain work through the experience more so than any other type of music and the music is comforting and earthly.

I can only assume that what happened after this point was the Third Bardo as the memories can’t be unlocked that easily. I remember feeling extreme frustration and discomfort but I soon slipped into a visionary state with the red shrouding my vision. The red was extremely beautiful and profoundly ecstatic. I found myself laughing at the ecclesiastico-politico-financial society we find ourselves existing in. Then a strange irrational feeling manifested itself towards my friend B for not talking and being quiet, on talking with B afterwards or in the aftermath of this profound trip he had manifested an irrational hatred to the music playing.

Thoughts were rushing through my head had and I was thinking the dark thoughts of a mushroom trip, I went through the topic of paedophiles and concluded that it was so fundamentally wrong and ultimately sick. B too was in this hellish state and even more hellish for him was the fact that it was his first experience and during the duration of this he uttered a “thank you” for showing him this state of metaphysical awareness. My lapis lazuli Buddha had provided a comforting icon and was nicely illuminated with candles. Smoking was horrible during the Third Bardo but yet I had to do it for some reason.

Visions melded into each other and I was plummeting the furthest reaches I had ever been into the psychedelic realm, thought and reason encompassed my thought strongly reinforcing the belief of the uselessness and backwardness of society.
Visions melded into each other and I was plummeting the furthest reaches I had ever been into the psychedelic realm, thought and reason encompassed my thought strongly reinforcing the belief of the uselessness and backwardness of society.
Suddenly at one point a big bang occurred throughout the synapses of my brain, the moment of re-entry had occurred and all that had made no sense to me during the mushrooms experience had suddenly made so much sense, at this same instant B proclaimed “can we do that again.” During this I concluded that life is the ultimate paradox as at one point we have to brace ourselves for a completely different and ultimately infinite reality/realm of cosmic existence in other words death.

I felt completely shot away the next day, yet I travelled into Oxford to get my ear pierced. The influence of the experience was still transcending through me and I found my self looking at an abominable toy town that was so contrived and meaningless. Thanks for reading. Life is the ultimate paradox.


Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 36017
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jan 17, 2023Views: 193
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Syrian Rue (45) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Personal Preparation (45), Relationships (44), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission prior to your downloading the data.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults