Citation: Bugz. "Completely Lost Touch With Reality - Bad Trip: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp38816)". Erowid.org. Oct 13, 2020. erowid.org/exp/38816
I first started experiementing with drugs around february of 2004. Smoking weed became an every day thing, and ecstasy started to become a typical weekend activity for my boyfriend and I. He had done shrooms with his friends a few times, but vowed never to let me, because he didn't think I could 'handle it' A few months later, however, he changed his mind.
One night in June, my boyfriend and I decided to get shrooms and chill in my room and just trip out all night. I was extremelly excited because it was my first time.
We ate a few caps then went outside and smoked a blunt. When we got back in I started to worry because I felt completely normal. I didn't feel high, or like I was tripping at all. We layed on my bed, sorta waiting for the effects to kick in. After about half an hour nothing happened, so I ate more.
Still nothing. I lay there worrying about what was going on and why I wasn't tripping yet, then it hit me. (somehow I remember most of this vividly, although it is hard to describe).
I started to ask my boyfriend over and over again - am I breathing? Because I really couldn't tell. I had to hold my hand over my mouth to make sure I was breathing. I began gasping for air. Everything was weird. I was extremelly confused. Life to me was not real, everything was fake. I felt as if everything was planned out, like a movie. I felt like we were on a set, and everything was meaningless. I literally DID NOT KNOW that I took drugs. At that point, I knew nothing. All I knew was that something was wrong, and that i'd feel that way forever. I would have bet my life on it.
I didn't know what to do with myself. I started rocking back and fourth and burying my face into pillows. Then I got up and walked around my room in circles probably about 20 times then just kept going downstairs into my kitchen, for no reason at all. I'd get there and question why I did it, then run back upstairs.
My boyfirend kept trying to re-assure me, that it was okay, it would go away, and it was just the shrooms. I kept telling him, 'No! I didn't take anything! what is going on? what are drugs? WHAT ARE SHROOMS???' (Yea, I couldn't remember what drugs were).
We were laying in my bedroom but I kept asking, 'where are we?' I literally did not know ANYTHING. With ecstasy I am able to tell myself, okay, I know things really arent this way, it's just the drugs making me believe this. But when I took shrooms - everything that crossed my mind was true and I knew it for a fact.
I didn't have one fun moment the entire night. The best part of my night was at 5 in the morning when I finally came down and was able to drive my boyfriend home. An hour earlier and I wouldn't have even known how to operate the car.
I dont think i'd ever do shrooms again.
The author reports taking 3 grams of mushrooms during the entirety of the experience.
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