Citation: RR. "Superactive Senses and a Superactive Mind: An Experience with Mushrooms - Panaeolus cyanescens (exp39287)". Erowid.org. May 1, 2007. erowid.org/exp/39287
Firstly, as a prelude: I am submiting this report as a way of emphasising the difference between shrooms (and by implication LSD, mescaline and other powerful psychedelic/hallucinogenic substances though I haven't tried any of these as yet) and the usual 'street' drugs such as weed, ecstacy or coke. Having my subconscious take over and my ego take a backseat is an extremely powerful, overwhelming, unusual and potentially disturbing experience. None of the aforementioned drugs, in my experience dumb down/remove your ego, they simply change it, even reinforce or strengthern it with various calming, confidence boosting or entheogenic/empathogenic effects.
This is why, for example, I am able to take an MDMA in virtually any circumstance, be able to talk to anyone and appear lucid, if slightly more friendly and chatty than normal. I found shrooms to be such a powerful experience that it is very difficult to converse with others, because I am so preoccupied with everything else that is going on around me and in my head (NOTE other people find shrooms make them more sociable, but I guess I must be a natural introvert).
The setting: I was visiting my friend, let's call him F, who had come home for Christmas and was staying at his parents' place. We have known each other for over ten years and he is a good friend so I normally feel very comfortable around him. However, he had just driven home that day, after working an eight hour shift, so he was pretty tired and reserved which put me on edge slightly, because I prefer it when my friends are open, happy and chatty.
His parents were in as well, which made him little apprehensive about taking shrooms. He is more experienced than I am with pschedelics, having tried acid on numerous occasions. I had taken shrooms on three other occasions, all of which have been very different experiences. The first was in Amsterdam,with Hawains. This produced the most visual trip I have ever had: cartoonesque faces, hearing colours, dripping walls, rainbows coming out of the TV etc. - all in all a really fun experience, but because I had smoked so much high grade Amsterdam skunk my mind wasn't as active. The second was with Mexicans, which we boiled an served as a tea. This just messed me up, made me really lethargic with no real visuals, just an incredibly distorted sense of space and time. On the third occasion I took very low dose at a club, which simply heightened colours and perceptions, making the night a little more interesting.
Luckily, due to the recent decision of several businesses to exploit a long-standing loop hole in the law (why they didn't do this before is a mystery to me) it is relatively easy to buy and sell FRESH magic mushrooms and peyote legally, so I bought two portions of Copelandia cyanenscens (10g a portion), otherwise known as Hawaiians, allegedly one of the most potent varieties of magic mushroom. I had a lengthy discussion with the shop owner (a veteran hippy) about spiritualism etc.and she told me to only do half a portion if I was inexperienced because of the strength of the mushrooms. Initially she wouldn't even sell them to me because apparently I appeared nervous.
The experience: Luckily, F and I decided to only do half a portion each, in case his parents came down stairs, so we could at least appear sober and hold a conversation (I discarded the shop lady's advice as being over cautious and was up for doing a whole portion - it's probably a good thing that I didn't). We conumed the half portion at around 12.30am and went outside to smoke some of the prize weed F had managed to get hold of (this stuff was virtually white with THC crystals). After the spliff F and I were a lot chattier and we the settled down to watch the Empire Strikes Back.
At 1.00am we both mentioned that colours were slightly enhanced. We chatted for a bit about the lure of the dark side, in tounge and cheek fashion more than anything (so we were talking s''' basically). Just off baseline at ths point
At 1.15 my friend still wasn't feeling anything really, probably because he'd had a large dinner at about 10.30pm. F ate another 2.5g at this point. I, on the other hand hadn't eaten anything since lunch time and was a definite 1+. Colours were a lot brighter, objects were beginning to gain a different definition and my mind was drifting. We went outside for another spliff, which I made sure was a fat one. The spliff changed everything, acting as a fuse for the trip to come. Immediately I felt a sense of elation and ephoria creep in and a sense of detachment with the outside world
1.30am sitting in F's living room and watching the rest of the movie, I felt an overpowering sense of ephoria, similar to coming up on MDMA: not as pronounced and energetic, but much deeper and much stronger, and with a sense of connection with my surroundings. Coming up on MDMA I feel more preoccupied with my feeling of love and warmth, which strengtherns my ego and makes me want to talk to others, share the warmth ;-) This euphoria seemed to have a lot more to do with my surroundings and the inner receses of my mind.
I sat bak and appreciated the elation I was feeling, appreciating the dancing colours. No visuals as yet, but who cares, I feel great. And yet there is always this nagging feeling that something is wrong and I feel slightly confused, unable to pinpoint exactly what I am feeling. This element of the come up is not all that pleasant. The movie scenes just blend together, time seems to move a lot faster and before I know it, the movie is over.
2.15am At this point I am a high 2+. Toward the end of the movie I began to get some visuals, what might be described as the usual aural and visual hallucinations.
Aurally - every sound I heard was like hearing a car approaching and then driving away (starting distorted and low defition, becoming louder and clearer and then fading away within the space of a few seconds). I guess it was a bit like having someone talk to me while my head is submerged under water.
Visually - the TV and Christmas decorations had taken on new dimensions and at times moved like waves and almost appeared to be breathing. The best way I can describe this is that it as if there was another dimension beyond the third that I can perceive with my eyes, similar to the difference between watching something on a flat screen followed by watching something with 3D specs. Objects appeared crisp and super-defined, colours were much richer and I kept seeing blobs of energy/pure colour made up of yellow, red and green in my vision. It was as if all my visual senses were running at full throttle.
Sensually: I was much more tactile. I drank a glass of water which for some reason tasted great, clear, pure.
Mentally: I found the effect shrooms had on my mind at this point to be both beautiful, blissful and enriching and at the same time a little confusing, overwhelming and even annoying at times, while my emotional state was very volatile. The most pronounced effect was the endless thinking. It's such hard work!! Drugs like MDMA are fairly easy going, but shrooms really put my mind through some hefty s'''! Every thought had another ten thoughts attached to it and I actually couldn't keep up with myself. They all flooded in so quickly!
I'd start thinking about the nature of thought and being but before I got a chance to finish that thought I would also begin thinking about how my surroundings resembled santa's groto and whether time was continuous. There was absolutley no logic to these thought patterns, and because my ego wasn't around to control and order these thoughts, they just kept on coming thick and fast. This acually annoyed me quite a bit and left me feeling slightly bewildered, wanting it to end.
I tried exploring my mind and thinking about my personality, attitude to others etc. Though slightly painful (not really the right word) at times it made me realise that it is much easier to rationalise my approach to life and my actions (which most of the time have deep-seated psychological motivations) with objective schemes, ideas and philosophies so that I believe that my approach is the right one. My ego helps rationalise and justify everything you do so that you can hold your ground and argue my point when someone challenges my approach to life. Otherwise, I would have a very low self-esteem.
But if I stop treating life like a competition and feel confident about myself (but not in an arrogant way) then I can do away with all of these justifications and rationalisations and just be proud about being who I am.
3.30am F and I go outside to smoke another fatty bombatti. This, I have to say, marks one of the best experiences of my trip. I look up to the night sky, which is dead clear, with a full moon, and am absolutely overcome by its beauty. I feel so connected to it, both mentally and physically. My whole body is overcome with what can only be described as an elated form of energy and, as pathetically cliched as this sounds, it feels as if the moon and stars are reaching out to touch me. I am in a dream like haze, but at the same time everything is crisp and clear. F is pretty twisted by now too.
4.30am we decide it's time to have our last spliff and go to bed. After the spliff I had some INCREDIBLY vivid recollections of past memories I didn't even know existed in my mind, memories of myself as a child. This was amazing and unexpected and I would like to highlight the potential shrooms have for unlocking past memories.
I was definiely more sensitive and introspective after the trip, but I think on the whole this experience has been a positive one. Next time I will try a slightly higher dose.
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