Citation: madferrit. "Never Again: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp40027)". Erowid.org. May 15, 2019. erowid.org/exp/40027
This is about an experience I had a little while ago, my first (and last) trip on mushrooms. I haven't experienced any other 'physcadelic' drugs, only weed occasionally so this was very different for me.
My friend's parents were out for one night so she invited me and 7 other girls around, thinking we would just have a video night. Me and another friend planned to suprise them with magic mushrooms which I had picked from the field next door, we only had brief knowledge of their appearance, for all I knew I could have been picking death caps. Anyway, we had about 5 largish mushrooms which we cut up small and put in an ommellette. The 2 other people who decided to do it had one slice each then got distracted, but I had around 3.
Half an hour later nothing had happened but I did get really upset over something pretty trivial, though it was probably the cause of my bad trip. I was sitting outside in the hammock in the moonlight, crying, when I noticed weird shit around me. My friend had 3 spotlights behind me but I didn't know that, so the fact that I had 3 shadows was really tripping me out. The bushes seemed to have black and sliver leaves on them, and they would pulsate and switch colours. I went back inside in a really bad mindset wondering if my friends would notice anything. They noticed I had been crying ad tried to talk to me. None of them were at all affected which added to the isolation.
At this stage I should have been enjoying the effects - fuzzy vision, light spots etc, but instead I was paranoid my friends would laugh at me for giving in to the trip. I spent about an hour trying to be inconspicuous while they all danced and sang around me - I would usaully be up there with them. They had a video camera as well which was making me increasingly paranoid.This was the worst part of the trip becasue it was no time at all was passing, felt like I'd be stuck like this forever, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. When I couldn't stand it anymore I talked to one of my friends, the only one who had done it before, but she didn't help becuase she said some mushies could stay in you - forever.
A couple of hours had passed before I could start rationalizing again, although the visual effects were still strong. My friends turned the music off and we sat round in the kitchen cleaning up, this restored me to a state of almost normality and we were able to laugh about it. I was coming down slowly and would probably have been alright, except then they started playing back the video footage of the night and it was watching myself in that nightmare through straight eyes that evoked seriously suicidal thoughts in my mind. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid and taken such a risk. I mean it was my dance rehearsal the next day and I had exams coming the following week. It was a real wake up call, corny as that sounds. I can't really describe it better than that. Afterwards, when I smoked pot I got recurring feelings of disillusion so I'm off that too. I still have relapses occasionally. Can't say I'd do it again.
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