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Mind is Removed, Soul Exists Alone
Mushrooms, Cannabis, Alcohol & Tobacco
by The Mexican
Citation:   The Mexican. "Mind is Removed, Soul Exists Alone: An Experience with Mushrooms, Cannabis, Alcohol & Tobacco (exp40194)". Erowid.org. Aug 13, 2007. erowid.org/exp/40194

 
DOSE:
3.5 g oral Mushrooms (dried)
  2 bowls smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  2 glasses oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine (liquid)
    smoked Tobacco (plant material)

BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb


I apoligise if the following does not make sense, as I wrote it while I was 'tripping'. In fact it was extremely difficult to read the words on my laptop. While this is not my first trip, it was definitely the most intense.

I am currently “high” on hallucinogenic mushrooms, and as I sit, watching the letters I have written bend and distort, I will make a rudimentary account of the passing hours. This is a unique experience, as I am attempting to explain with words of another existence, the happenings of this one. Shrooms are fun. I feel as though, starting at 9:00 P.M, my mind has been on a steady downward spiral. Slowly after taking the shrooms, my mind has begun to lose grip on all of the things that made its foundations. Everything is reduced to it’s most simple. Slowly my mind was reduced to: sit, smoke, feel, watch, etc. with each action that I undertook requiring extreme introspection. For example, “Weed, I smoke this and I feel high, happy without reason. Shrooms, these things made me feel like I do right now. But I cant explain how I feel. All I know is what is before me”.

I am reduced to carnal instincts, all other things, such as walking, require extreme thought. So everything else, such as being in college, love, money, life, everything is COMPLETELY out of the reach of my now hollowed thoughts. All of this occurring in the span of seconds. My mind commences on this trail, losing hold off all formerly held for granted, until It reached a “peak.” A point at which I honestly think I knew nothing. It was as if my mind had been removed, and my spirit is left to watch the chaos ensue. To be honest the entire experience up to that point was depressingly horrid. My mind fighting against this poison that I in took to stop it’s function. My mind felt devoid of thought, as clearly as lungs feel devoid air. I am watching a clock, every second knowing less than I did the second before. I am my mind reduced to nothing .

All the while I feel as though I have a companion, some THING there watching all I do, answering all I ask myself, giving me guidance. After returning to my room at 1am, I feel the loss well, recede. As the tide leaves the beach, is gone, and then returns. My mind is between losing and gaining. Learning and forgetting, thinking and remembering.

2:00 a.m., apparently, after an hour I started to learn. I realized that I could see whatever I imagined. I remember now a point, between 10:00 and 12:00 that my reality collapsed. I remember watching as my physical/spiritual/mental/logical functions are reduced to nothing. My mind paralyzed. I remember watching, literally, as my world caves in around itself. Knowing nothing and not being able to explain the absence. But after that I began to learn.

The poison released it’s grip on my mind, my mind grasping at every new piece of information it encountered. Going from nothing, and confusion. To realizing happiness and nothing else. To feel one’s mind lose everything, and then to gain something good. To literally know nothing but happiness. To be as a baby, a puppy. To see everything for the first time. The first time I walk, eat, think, talk, feel, learn. All happening in the span of hours instead of years. To feel anew, and to feel I gain it all back. Is an awe-inspiring experience for lack of a better word.

So taking shrooms isn’t so much feeling something new. As feeling nothing and feeling anew. Soul. Mind. Mind is removed. Soul exists alone. Mind is dead. Soul remains intact, unchanged. Mind is reborn. Soul watches the rise from nothing to something. If time ceases to exist. And existence ceases to be. And something is left to observe it’s passing. I am that something. My mind was obliterated with a powerful and natural poison that has existed longer than I or my kind.

And was left without. I existed in the lack of existence. I existed in the lack of lacking. I watched as I re-learnt life’s nuances. I watched as my physical world was ripped and devoid of reality. I watched life begin. I watched as logic began. I watched the first yes or no. the first knowledge of such a things existence. I experienced the experience of nothing.

My mind feels thankful for the existence of existence. My soul watching my minds decay. For I have watched myself die. And I have learnt what it is to live. I have watched the demise of time. And I have watched the beginning of knowledge. I have learnt what it is like to be god. And I have been left wanting. This is what it is like to shroom. It is to litteraly witness ones own demise, and to see ones soul re-build. It is to exist for the first time.

Shrooming is committing suicide, being reborn, and seeing existence begin anew. Shrooming is gaining the knowledge of Jesus in the mind of a mortal. Shrooming is an awesome thing to behold. So after killing myself through poison. And being reborn through the same, after learning what it's like to be Jesus, I begin life anew, with the knowledge of a life past to guide me and enough hallucinations to watch the time away.

I am man, reborn. Dark side of the moon is my first song. My first question is that of homosexuality. My first discovery is myself. I feel humble. I think about Dina, my soul feels like a half. I feel my absence, and am reminded that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I understand what it is to be in love, for I understand what it is to not. And I understand that I am neither, and that I am blessed.

I miss Dina, and I relish the knowledge that love is indeed there.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 40194
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 13, 2007Views: 5,470
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Poetry (43), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)

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