Citation: James. "Worst Experience of My Life: An Experience with Mushrooms & DMT (exp4428)". Erowid.org. Dec 18, 2001. erowid.org/exp/4428
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5pm: Me and Lewis each take a hit of DMT in his room. This was my first time smoking DMT. He prepared me for it very nicely. Good choice of music, setting, and told me to just let the drug hit me, and not to fight it, and everything will be ok. Well everything was ok. I had a massive nitrous high feeling, and everything kinda felt different, like I was in another world, but not?
530pm: The DMT effects are almost completely gone, and I feel...GREAT! I swear I had the most positive outlook on life after my DMT trip was over, I felt happy within, happy with the world, and had the feeling as if things just couldn't get any better. Goddam, I felt so good I just...HAD to eat some shrooms! The kid that had the DMT, had shrooms too, and grabbed a handful out of a bag, gave em to me and said, 'that should be about 2 grams.' *Munch munch munch*
6:20pm: Time to smoke some pot. (oh by the way, I didnít eat 2 grams, I ate 4 and a half. I didnít find this out til after I was through tripping)
6:30pm: After smoking a bowl or two, (I cant remember exactly) I started noticing a little goofy body feeling coming on...which was incredibly enjoyable. Constant smile on my face, very relaxed, totally chilled out, and some slight visual action.
7:15pm: We arrive at a friends house for a short time. As I was walking back to my friends car, something just didnít feel right, and I stopped before getting back in his car, and thought to myself, for some reason, I didnít like where my trip was heading, even though at the time I was having a blast.
7:45-9:45pm: While we were driving, Lewis looked over at me and said, 'so James, how ya feelin?!' And I looked up at him, and said, 'I wish I wasnít tripping...' And before I knew it, I was seeing triple of everything. Besides the fact that everything was also changing color and moving somewhat, I was seeing triple of it. I couldnít walk, couldnít talk, and my body felt like it weighed 10000 pounds. All I remember coming out of my mouth was, 'um...er...well...hey...if you...um...can I...uh...,' and thatís about how my conversations went for a couple hours.
I just wish I could explain why this happened to me. With the snap of my fingers, I was totally fucked. Zonked. Way the hell out there.
As I sat there, in his car for god knows how long, all I could think about was all my wrongs that I had done in my life. I sat there wishing I wasnít so fucked up, wishing it would end, knowing it would end...yet still thinking that it wasnít going to, and that I was gonna stay this way. It really made me wanna turn my life around, and make things better with myself. I wanted to talk to all my friends, and let them know how much they really meant to me, and I wanted to thank my parents for looking out for me. But I couldnít cuz I was fucked up.
Eventually, after having a massive thinking session...I started to get extremely depressed. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I couldnít. The shrooms just completely took over my body. I had no control what-so-ever. All I wanted was for my girlfriend to give me a hug, and tell me it would be all good. But she was out of town, and then I started thinking that she was never gonna come back, and that Id be alone for the rest of my life. I think maybe that helped me realize how important she really is to me. I love her to death (were still together) and thatís about all I could think about at that point - I love her.
(I wish I could describe this better, but I canít remember everything cuz I was too fucked up)
Sometime between 9:30 and 10pm, my best friend met us at this park. He came up and said, 'bad trip man? that sucks. Iím sorry dude, are you ok?' All I could do was nod my head yes or no, cuz when I tried to talk, I just couldnít get any words to flow out. Then he grabbed my arm, helped me up out of Lewis' car, and said, 'you wanna get in my car?' I immediately nodded my head yes, because for some reason, being with him just made me feel alot more at home. He put in one of my favorite trance cd's so I could try and mellow out, and told me that he was gonna drive me around and talk to me until I got better. And when he told me that, everything started to clear up. My body feeling gradually went away, my mind didnít feel so heavy, visuals stopped, and I could talk again!
All I could do after that, was shake my head in disbelief. He smoked some nugs with me so Id calm down...boy did that help. I went home at about midnight, sat in my room until I donít even know, just sitting there with a big smile on my face. Here I am, after having what I thought was the worst experience of my life, smiling and thinking everything is all good. To this day I still wonder to myself, why was I having the best day, then the worst, then the best? Was it really the shrooms or DMT that got me so fucked? Or was it me, and my lifestyle, and my surroundings? Did the shrooms just increase my awareness of life? So many unanswered questions I still think to myself.
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