Mushrooms - P. Cubensis
Citation: No one. "Transcending Time: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. Cubensis (exp45587)". Erowid.org. Sep 19, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45587
The summer after my freshman year I bought a mushroom kit from a local head shop with the intention of taking it home and doing mushrooms all summer long. I had previously tripped on low dosages (one 2.5 gram trip, one 1 gram trip, one 4 gram trip) of mushrooms earlier in the year. These trips amounted to nothing more than a few breathing walls, small visual distortions, and very stoned thoughts.
Fastforward to mid-summer. The mushrooms took a very long time to grow, something like a month and a half. No complaints really, since it was a kit that required little to no attention or preparation, just a little anxious to do my mushrooms since my summer was already half gone. Due to the unforseen growing time of the shrooms I had decided to do a large dose at once. I knew I had to plan my trip carefully knowing this. Before dropping the shrooms I drilled it in to my brain that it was going to be a good trip and that all variables within my control had been carefully scrutinized and that there was no need to go to my friends, parents, or authorities for anything. No need to leave my room.
Late night/Early morning 1 am, My room. I had put every pillow and blanket I could scrounge into my closest to create a super comfortable cocoon.
This is written in the chronological order that I experienced.
1am - I had originally decided to do 7 grams, a dosage a college friend recommended. I dropped the mushrooms one by one, some fresh, some dried. After reaching the seven gram target I weighed out the remainder of mushrooms, 6 grams. And on an impulse I just shoved the 6 grams in to my mouth. After a little mental math 6+7=13 I began to panic at the sheer dosage I had done. Thoughs began to fill my mind that my dad would come up stairs open my door and find me all tripped out in my closet, the panic began to crecendo. At that moment I reminded myself of the careful planning that went into this endevour; that was the last unpleasent feeling of the night.
115am - I turn on the black light in my room shut the closet door and turn of the lights. Complete sensory deprivation. I spend the next few minutes lying in my cocoon just having run of the mill sober thoughts.
120am - Nothing yet. I turn my head to the left and feel my stomach churn. I close my eyes and extrodanary patterns of colors and geometric shapes suddenly hit me. I am tripping, hard. I am paying a lot of attention to the visuals they are quite like nothing I had ever seen, magnificent geometric and fractal patterns. I see intensifiying patterns for the next 10 minutes, I am quite lucid for a while. I turn my head forward again and the geometric patterns are quite strong.
145am - I have reached a plateau and am quite sure that this is the peak of my trip. But then this strange visual static, a little like TV Snow, only a little though, it's truly indescribable, starts to appear behind the colorful patterns. It slowly starts overcoming the patterns, and now the patterns are coming in and out of the static quite like a fading radio station. I suddenly realize that I am in for much more than I had originally thought. Soon the geometric patterns and colors are gone and not to bee seen again, only the static remains. I can feel myself losing grasp of reality, I am not lucid like I was just moments earlier, I am sprialing down into the psychadelic abyss.
Flurries of pictures begin to flash in front of me, pictures I haven't seen since childhood. Feelings I haven't felt since childhood begin to flow through me. My child hood mindset had actually taken hold of me. I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew that I was no longer 19 years old. I was 7. All the memories were clear, as if I was reliving them, actually there. I opened my eyes and saw a faint light coming from a door shining light on the complete darkness that was a familiar room. I understood this vision to be from my past when I was newly born, lying in my crib in my parents room. It felt real, not imagined or dreamt.
At that point the room disappeared and only the distant light was visible. My cocoon began to feel warm and wet, it felt as if it encompassed my entire body. The light faded and I felt my eyes begin to wander around the compete darkness, they were no longer in sync. Each eye was going in its own direction and focusing and defocusing, they had minds of their own. My fingers began to move on their own accord, I had absolutely no control over their movement.
2am - 15 minutes have passed and I have alredy re-experienced my birth. I was crying at the sheer beauty of life and it's creation. I bawled for the next 15 minutes.
215am - I had gone insane. I had taken a small analog watch with glowing hands to keep track of time in the complete darkness, and at exactly 2:16 I snapped. This was the last time during the trip that time had any meaning or even existed. For the past hour I had been steadily losing grasp of reality but nothing prepared me from this sudden meltdown of my mind. I abruptly stopped crying. At the moment I didn't not think I was insane, but I was. It was as if my mind had been struggling to break loose of it's confines for the last hour and had finally made it to the other side. Nothing mattered anymore, I was inhabting the 4th dimension. I was living all parts of my life at once. Time broke down completely. All the thoughts I had ever had in my entire life were suddenly present at the front of my mind, and there was room for all of it.
I even recognized thoughts and memories that I hadn't even lived through yet, thoughts of my wife and children, my work, my success, the tribulations of being in my 40s with a family! I'M ONLY 19. It didn't matter though, I had transcended time, it was all relevent. I also had this strange ability to recall every dream I had ever had, with this ability I could recall dreams and explore their landscapes as I never could before, like they were real places. I had my eyes open this entire time, the sensory deprivation really got to me, I projected my thoughts on to my eyes, and explored my dream worlds in great detail walking, running, feeling things, touching things, talking with people.
The dreams and the reliving of my life were simultaneous and seem to take eternities. The entire time I had this feeling of peace and beauty, as if I had lived my life entirely and was ready to die. All feelings became one, joy and suffering were indestinguishable from eachother, all feelings joined together to create an innerpeace telling me everything is ...going/going to be/has already been... alright. I wonder if I'm going to stay this way forever.
2somethingA.M. - Everything becomes too much for me to handle, and I decide to leave the sensory deprivation closet. I open the door. To my great suprise I had forgotten about the black light so everything looks extremely different and slightly frightening. There is this weird three dimensional script all over the floor of my room. Everything is spinning and moving and breathing and waving. I look at the clock but it makes no sense. It says 2:15am. I make no attempt to reconcille the fact that everything I had experienced in the closet since last looking at my watch (which seemingly took an indescribably long time) had taken no time at all.
I look away from the clock and begin to contemplate the time I had 'just spent' in the bathroom, I glance at the clock and it says 3:15, I look away again and ask myself how an hour just pass in a few seconds. I look back at the clock and it says 2:45, and I go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom I realize that time was skipping back and forth, and that I was experiencing things before they happen and then doing them. This is a most strange feeling. I look at myself in the mirror and I morph in to an old man (which is what I was contemplating earlier before it even happened!). The old version of myself was unsettling.
315am - I get bored of looking at the future me. I leave the bathroom and contemplate the time I had 'just spent' in there. I glance at the clock, 3:15am, it means nothing to me. I lay down in my bed and begin 3 hours of intense introspective travel until I fall asleep.
It has taken me weeks to recover from this one trip. I still don't fully understand it. Especially the time aspect. In the morning I looked at both my room clock and the watch I had used in the closet and both were telling the same time. I truly felt as if I inhabited a dimension where time has no meaning when past, present, and future are all the same. I also beleive the mind stores everything that it experiences, absolutely everyting, and that somehow psychadelics are the gateway in which we tap our unused parts of the brain, unlocking realms of existance that only the divine are said to inhabit.
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