Citation: OneWhoNowKnows. "From Recreational Lust to Spiritual Love: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp46548)". Erowid.org. Mar 9, 2007. erowid.org/exp/46548
Before the following experience took place I only had a recreational lust for entheogens, but afterwards my recreational lust transformed into a Spiritual Love Affair.
Up to this point in my life I had been given numerous opportunities to experience the world of psychedelia. I was in college at this point in my life and just coming to terms w/ who and what I was. I'd taken many psychoactive substances including but not limited to Pot, LSD, Shrooms, Alcohol, LSA, MD(A,EA,MA) Etc. Just to have a blast, and go away for awhile. Not the correct path for me as I will soon learn!!
It was a chilly cloudy October evening in Cincinnati, and I had just gotten off work at my part time job at a deli in the Gaslight District. I had been mentally preparing myself all day for how screwed up I was going to get that given evening on the bag of shrooms I had picked up a couple of days earlier from a trusted source. My plans were to go to some friends house that had planned a Shroom party several days earlier when an abundance of the substance came to town.
In a very good mood, I arrived home from work. I chronologically put together a plan of action after I call the Party House to see what was up. My friends were just getting ready to put theirs down the hatch, so I decided to do the same. I would quickly make some pasta, and put my bag in w/ the sauce, Shower, Shit, Shave, Dress and be ther within an hour. Perfect plan I thought, by the time that I arrive to the house I will be just about where my friends were.
I followed my plan to the T, but something went wrong, or right depending on your view of the situation, along the way. I sat down at the table w/ my pasta dumped the psilocybin on top mixed well and ate. I then picked out my clothes for the evening, grabbed a towel and jumped into the shower. I washed my body and then just stood in the stream of water for about 5 mins. I then decide that I needed to get a move on and reached for the shampoo to finish my shower ritual.
After I rinsed I opened my eyes and to my suprise H2O was no longer being dispersed from the shower head, but rather a steam of lovely colors. My thoughts were 'What the Hell, its only been 15 mins since I'd eaten, I Gotta Get Going, especially since I have to ride my mountain bike to the house.' and I stepped out of the shower to grab my towel.
I started to dry my body and got a really overwhelming urge to vomit. I turned to the toilet, and violently expelled all that I had just eaten. My thought while throwing up was 'Aw Fuck, they didn't have enough time to get completely in my system'. This would be quickly disproved. I finished drying off quickly, put on my boxers, turned to the sink to brush my teeth and brush my shoulder length hair.
After I brush my teeth I looked up into the mirror, and was mesmerised by the size of my pupils. I remember thinking 'Man, these must be pretty potent 'cause its only been 20 or 25 mins, and it always takes about 1hr to 1.25hrs for me to come on' then bam. I needed to throw up again. After this purging episode I was FULL ON. My thoughts were now 'You've eaten too many shrooms, you are gonna go too far and not come back!!!' The Fear as some call it was setting in fast.
At this point my plans to jump on my bike and ride anywhere were no longer. A lot of feelings and emotions were overwhelmingly drowning me. I could not differenciate between what was real and what was not. Scared out of my mind I decided to lay down on the couch and try to go to sleep. Guess again!!!! Sleep was the furthest thing from my reach. As I lay there eyes closed and a prisoner in my own mind, I get the most overwhelming feeling that I am being watched.
Knowing that my roomate was out of town for the weekend, I opened my eyes to see who or what it was. It was me!!!! I was across the room sitting in a wicker chair. The me that was on the couch was gripping the armrest and the cushions validating that I was physically there. All of a sudden the other me in the chair stood up and walked to the center of the room and 'looked into me.' I know that sounds strange, but it is the only way to describe the instance.
I in turn 'looked back into me'. At this point we telepathically communicated w/ each other. Ther were no spoken words just thought transfer. Though only lasting a few minutes I felt that I had just gained a lifetime (and then some) of knowledge. The physical me still sitting on the couch watched the spirit me turn and walk away split into two and walked into seperate rooms of the apartment.
Physically I was still on the couch and could not see into the rooms which I had entered, but I could watch from where I sat through the eyes of my spirit side. Door closed I could see into my roomates bedroom. Watching and appreciating Buck, my roomates beautiful Blue Tick dog. The other half of my spirit self that had split entered the kitchen, which again I could not physically see into without getting up from the couch, and stared at the empty pasta plate on the table w/ admiration. Seconds later I watched the Two rejoin and disperse.
Seconds later I bursted into uncontrollable tears not comprehending what had just happened. I grabbed the phone in a panic and called the first person to come to mind to come and save me from myself(not realising I had already done so). That friend would come to my place promptly to give me the help that I thought that I needed. Turned out that I did not need that. Knowing that someone was on the way helped put me at ease. I knew that my friend would not be there for about a half hour as he was coming from downtown. So I sat and reflected on what had just happened.
I then came to the realisation that what had just happened was a Spiritual Revelation. A Spirtual Journey of looking into and learning from ones self w/ the vehicle being a natural entheogen. I was still a little troubled though, because as I mentioned I watched myself disperse, fearing that maybe I had lost part of myself. This feeling would soon dissipate over the next few days as I realised that my spirtual side had reentered without my physical self knowing. I know this because since then my spirituality has grown tremendously going forward from that experience.
Now, 10 yrs later, I still have an appreciation for the psychedelic experience, just a different form of appreciation. A spiritual appreciation, not a Recreational Lust. I now only use these chemicals for Spiritual and Divine Purpose. To date I have yet been able to journey into a similar experience, but when I do I will be ready.
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