Erowid Canvas Tote/Shopping Bag
This reusable "Ecobag" is made of 100% recycled mid-weight
(10 oz) cotton canvas, printed with the Erowid logo.
Donate now and receive yours!
Jesus Calm Me
Mushrooms - P. semilanceata
by Soulshift
Citation:   Soulshift. "Jesus Calm Me: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. semilanceata (exp46795)". Erowid.org. Oct 7, 2010. erowid.org/exp/46795

 
DOSE:
30 g oral Mushrooms - P. semilanceata (fresh)

BODY WEIGHT: 75 kg


Before this trip I had a few experiences with mushrooms, but all the previous experiences I was also taking Zoloft. I've found that Zoloft takes off the edge of tripping, also I could take very high doses without feeling too overwhelmed. This was to be my first time without Zoloft.

I picked about 30 grams (1 ounce) of Psilocybe Semilanceata in the afternoon. I don't know any trippers so I was going to trip alone, planning the trip for the evening. I was in a period of rebellion, I had recently quit my job and spended my days getting high on weed. Even though I didn't feel bad about my life I was also supressing lot of crappy feelings, which probably affected the trip strongly.

I ate the mushrooms as they were at about 11 pm. After 10 minutes I felt the first effects. I was playing with my dog and having fun. As the effects went stronger though I was taken over by a feeling of sadness. My life really seemed pathetic. I had no friends, the people I knew were all hardcore stoners and didn't really care about anything but getting wasted anymore. Me too of course. I thought about how false I'm living my life, always playing cool and unmoved, I was disgusted with the facades. For a while I forgot I'm beginning to trip. When I realized it I thought I'd better try steer my thinking elsewhere, and proceeded to watch my surroundings. I was starring at a wall, and the wall was bubbling. At one point, while looking at the wall, the pattern on the wallpaper began moving in a vortex like motion. The sound was WHOOOSHHHHHHHHH!!, like a bloodrush, and I felt my consciousness being pulled with the vortex. Now I knew I'm in for a very strong trip, the time was only 45 minutes into the trip and the effect was already very strong. I still couldn't completely shake the uncomfortable feeling from the beginning, it grew increasingly evident, present.

The effect was coming on in waves. Every wave was stronger and more profound, and I was getting really worried. I though about calling my friends or my mom, but decided to ride it out. I have already freaked my mom out once when she found me very tripped, and I didn't want to worry her again. And none of my friends has ever tripped, and they are not the baby sitting types after all. I looked at my dog and it looked worried too, which only added to the creepy feeling. The floor was now whirling violently and I began having difficult to stand up. In retrospect I'm thinking it would've been lot better if I went out before this stage (there is a beautiful cliff nearby with an outlook over the city). My place looked like a shithole, everywhere I looked was some dirty socks, newspapers, beer-bottles and cigarette butts. The air smelled like it hasn't been replaced for decades, and it generally was a terrible setting. Since I began feeling very weak I decided to lie down in the bed. The time was now about 1 hour 30 minutes into the trip.

From the point I got into bed I barely remember anything. The trip was coming on incredibly hard and I soon forgot that I was tripping. I couldn't make sense out of anything. I remember lying in a fetus position and shaking and crying, I was drenched in sweat, driveling and convulsing. I was very very afraid. Since I lost most reference points I didn't really know what I'm afraid of, I guess I just couldn't make any sense of what's happening to me. At some points I remember repeating the name of Jesus. I'm not a religious person and by that time I didn't even know what Jesus means, but the name calmed me down. It was as if something took hold of me and I began begging 'Jesus, Jesus, Jesus', and suddenly feeling relief.

After a while in this nightmare state it feels as I've had a blackout and then 'woke up'. I didn't know where I am, who I am or what I am, but I wasn't afraid anymore. I was just watching everything not knowing what it is. After a while things began to look familiar, but I still couldn't place them. It was as if I've seen them somewhere before but couldn't remember where or what they were. I saw different visions flowing before me in bubbles. I saw a cluster of mushrooms, I saw my mom and my therapist, then I saw one of my friends sitting on a chair next to the bed. I still didn't know what they were but they looked very familiar.

After what seemed an eternity in this state I suddenly woke up. The transition was very sudden, I woke up in an instant. The time was t +5:30 hours. In general I was very happy to be back, however I was still pretty shaked by the experience. It was incredibly more powerful then I expected. I account that mostly to the fact that I was taking Zoloft all the previous times. From the next day I developed a panic disorder, and I am still pretty messed up, 3 years later. Mostly in the sense of having difficult to form my thoughts into words and actions without a lot of focusing.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 46795
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 7, 2010Views: 4,423
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Mushrooms - P. semilanceata (90) : Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults