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Falling Into Black
by Zeme
Citation:   Zeme. "Falling Into Black: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp47953)". Erowid.org. Feb 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/47953



I thought I was intelligent, or at least well informed when I first took them. This was incorrect.

When I first became very high, after the initial coming up, I took a shower. In it I was reduced to some three-year old mental state. I was fascinated with the function of the shower and giggled with ecstasy at the warm water sprayed from the shower head. As I fell further and further into the high, not realizing it (!) I began to imagine the faucet as existing long after I would. Rust and dirt appeared over everything, but this was just another exercise in quaint fascination with the world.

Kaliedescopes of colour danced before my eyes.

After a long, hard staring contest with the faucet I urned my attention to the tree people of my shower curtain. It appeared as a semi-human form to me, and was similar to the talking trees (name?) in Tolkien's Lord of The Rings. Though there were marked differences, it felt as if these things sheltered me, were talking slowly...droning but a feeling of complete warmth and coverage came from their words.

As I stumbled out of the shower, enjoying myself but trying to keep a grip on reality, I placed my bathrobe on and walked downstairs. It felt as if I were a primate. Eventually I made it back to my well-prepared room with some water. As I entered I felt as if I were entering a cave.

Have you ever seen a dog that walks around in a circle before it sits, or snuggles and surrounds itself with blankets? This was similar, but instead of blankets there were the objects from my room and my bed. I began to see my room as a cave, within a jungle. My stuffed animals became a panther, the green walls were jungle foliage and I some gruff early-human in the middle of it. I was very happy.

And then I became sick
. So started my bad trip, one that I shall continue to learn from. I threw up and felt very sick. I sweated so much I was dripping from the face, and any difficulties with complexion/skin were multipled ten fold.

Immediately following this, I felt as if I were continually falling into black. The medians in streets were what I saw, but there were not merely medians, they were my thoughts. My attempts to connect to reality. As if I were in a car, they sped away behind me. As I came up to the next, I tried to latch on but felt as if I would never be able to keep a thought again. Everything kept falling away. It was then that I panicked. My panic took the form of a never ending trip or at least, the fear of such.

The worthlessness, fear, melancholy and absolute failure that I felt is uncomparable to any other that I had ever experienced. I was a foolish, foolish girl for attempting such an experience with an uninformed perspective and without preparing for the worst.

I thought that preparing for the event and ensuring that I had counter-measures and people there to assist me should anything take a turn for the worse seemed quite unnecessary when first I contemplated taking mushrooms.

I was wrong.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 47953
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 9, 2018Views: 731
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Mushrooms (39) : First Times (2), Personal Preparation (45), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)

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