Citation: CaptainFizz. "An Unreality Shock: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp48664)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2020. erowid.org/exp/48664
It was a friday and I was bored. Both my parents were home. When this happened I was 15 years old and this was my first experience with any hallucinogen ever.
At about 10 ocklock my parents went to watch a movie and so the kitchen was unmonitered. I snuck in and took 3 shots of vodka just to get a fun buzz. Turns out I was a bit drunker than I expected. At about 11 ocklock I was bored and I had recently purchased 1/8 of an ounce of shrooms. I have no intentions of doing these alone when I bought them, but I was bored, and a bit drunk and so I thought it would be a great Idea. I had no idea about anything about the shrooms except that someone suggest I take half of the amount I bought.
I mixed some stems and caps in with chips. I had been told that shrooms taste disguisting and make some people vomit, and even though they didnt taste bad at all, I covered the taste with chips just incase.
After this I had no idea how long they would take to kick in so I just sat at my computer and chatted online. I believe that they took quite a while since my stomach was full, and I was zoning out on the computer so I didn't really notice the shrooms until they had kicked in full on. This is where the night really began. This is when I detached myself from my computer and started realizing my trip. At this point it was about 1 ocklock.
I had never quite looked at the floor in such a way. It almost seemed to breathe. Pulsing. Patterns forming and disassembling themselves in the very folds and wrinkles of this plain blue carpet. I knew that this was the beginning of something not quite like anything else I had ever experienced before. I slowly got up from the chair to take a closer look at the carpet, as it breathed. Pulsed. Up and down, it was most definitely alive. This brought me to the question, are other things alive in this room that may normally not be? And so I looked around. Every thing was indeed breathing. The wrinkles in my bed were wavering back and forth, slowly rippling like water, life bursting from the very folds that I had lay myself on minutes before. This started to get over my head and so I decided the best thing to do would be to film myself. If anything should ever go wrong, at least people would know what had happened.
I snuck downstairs. My dad was still awake so I tried to be extremely quiet. Running into him when I was in this state would be all but good. I got the camera and brought it upstairs. I turned it on and pressed record. I could see myself in the camera, but what I saw was different from everything else. The whole room was pulsing and breathing, living, connected to me. In the camera I just saw a normal room, nothing strange.
The ceiling. It is so seldom really looked at. But now this was not the case, for I was studying the ceiling with great intent. Like everything else, it breathed with a steady rhythm, but that wasnít the most amazing thing about it. There were small things crawling all over it. Little bugs. They would start inanimate, but as I looked at them they would spring to life, and commence with their busy day up on that strange, strange ceiling. Yes this was definitely going to be a night that was very, very different from any other.
My stomach gave a leap. I didnít feel nauseated, and I didnít feel sick either, but my stomach was definitely doing somersaults. SUDDENLY my kidney melted away. RIGHT OUT OF MY BODY! my kidney just melted from existence. I could feel the warmth, I could feel the wetness, the disgusting melted ooze seeping out of my stomach. Wait a second. What the hell was I thinking.
Soon I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. Or at least I felt that I did. I got up, and made my way to the door. I staggered outside my room and across the hall to the bathroom. As I closed the door, I had a whole new feeling around me. A new feeling of confinement. The walls started closing in, slowly but surely. Now generally I am not afraid of small places, but this was something entirely different. I sat on the toilet. I peed. It wasnít normal though, I felt as though I was peeing my very insides straight out of my body, slowly hollowing myself out. How insane it felt.
I stood up and looked in the mirror. My face was the most incredible thing I had seen. It moved, alive, like everything else, but at the same time it changed. My attention slowly fell upon my eyes. I was surprised when I looked at my eyes because my pupils were taking up about three fourths of my whole eyeball. My iris was as thin as a piece of thread, just barely outlining my gigantic pupils. ďSo this is why Iím so fucked up,Ē I said out loud.
I looked at the floor. Cat litter. Everywhere. What a messy cat. It started to move. Considering what had been happening I wasnít surprised, but at the same time I was a bit afraid. Slowly all the dots on the walls and door started moving as well, and everything turned into little bugs. Tiny little working bugs, going back and forth, crawling everywhere, even on me. It wasnít scary, it was just weird.
I made my way back into my room. I then noticed how spacious my room really was and soon I came to realize it was growing larger and larger. The very room in which I was standing was expanding. This was too weird. I decided to focus on something smaller. My hands perhaps? Yes these hands were quite incredible. They grew fat, then thin, they turned into a childís hands, then they grew withered and old. They grew spots, and as quickly as those strange spots were there, they disappeared. I spent quite a long time goggling over my hands. Finally I drew my attention elsewhere. I looked at the clock, and I was shocked. In this entire time, 7 minutes had passed. What seemed like hours, and hours, what seemed to extend on for days, stretching the very outer limits of time, had happened in only 7 minutes. Things commenced, and slowly, bit by bit, 2 hours passed of similar hallucinations and being in the same mindset. I listened to music, I stared at myself in my camera, I drew a picture, and I rolled around laughing (quietly of course so as not to awaken the parents).
After about 2 and a half hours I called people. I was a bit worried about how unreal everything was, as amazing as it was. Now thinking back, and having experienced with hallucinogens a bit more, doing shrooms alone was probobly not such a good idea. I was calling people because I was trying to reach out to the real world. But of course no one was there at 3 in the morning.
Finally my trip started winding down. I mainly helped myself together up until this point except for one point where I started rapidly scribbling all over my arm. Now that the 'comedown' or whatever you want to call it had started up it was a fight. Again, after more experience with hallucinogens I have realized that ones mind can become very fragile when a hallucinogen is wearing off, and it is really harder to settle down when one is alone. In the last hour of my trip things went wrong. I lost control over my body, as my very limbs fell off and rolled away about the different parts of the room. I had stopped hallucinating full on, but I still felt the body high full on. By now it was about 5 in the morning and I was so ready to just go to sleep, but I was still having trouble bringing everything in and reaching a state of soberness like I so wanted. I had to slowly gain back control over my body, and I did. But I felt as thought at any moment, if I even so much as thought something bad, that very thought would happen and everything would be lost. Finally at about 7 my hallucinations were over and my body high was winding down. I lay in my bed with the lights on and closed my eyes, although I didn't fall asleep.
I had a hard time lying in the complete dark because then my mind focused only on my body which felt like it was peeling and coming apart (not such a pleasant feeling) so I lay in bed with my light on. For the rest of the early morning I brought myself back to a state of comfort bit by bit. How did I come back? How did I collect my scattered mind back together? Iíll tell you. Itís funny how a grown person can change back to the stage of an infant so easily. This is exactly what I did. As I lay there on my bed thinking I had no legs and no arms, and a separated head, I repeated the comforting phrase 'everything will be ok.' I repeated that over what must have been at least one thousand times ďit will all be ok.Ē I said it over and over, and over again. Slowly as my heart slowed down, my head floated back down onto my shoulders, and my limbs started to sprout from the useless stubs I had created with my mind.
I heard a distant meow. It grew louder and louder, until it turned to wretched screaming, piercing me hard enough to make my head explode. Make it stop! Anything to make it stop! I had to make this wretched siren stop its cry. Now that I had my legs again I got up and darted to the door. I flung it open and grabbed my cat. I was still in a state of panic and depression as I was doing this, but when I felt my cat things started to change. The softness of his fur felt so real, so nice and comforting that I held him for a long time. I lay down on my bed, petting him as his soft purr calmed my heart and my anxiety.Finally I let him go when I felt less panicked and I eventually fell to sleep.
I slept until at last at 8 in the morning for an hour and woke up at 9 when it was all finally over. I felt worn out and dead. Time had moved so incredibly fast in the beginning and so incredibly slowly when I was coming off the shrooms, what had seemed like seconds turned out to be hours, and what seemed like hours were mere seconds.
When I awoke I was sober, or rather I wasnít hallucinating. I Had come down from this incredible trip. I had left behind the good and the bad. Feeling immense exhaustion I lay in my bed for an hour. Then when I had gathered enough energy, I pulled myself out of my bed and over to my computer. I then started writing. Writing as if that was the only way to speak, the only way someone might ever understand the immensely mixed feelings I had inside about what had started and ended within the past 10 hours. And thus this story came to being.
Now I am 17 and my prospective on things have changed a lot. I have tried a few more drugs, and I have definitely experimented with other hallucinogens such as 2c-b, DXM, and other trips with shrooms. From a more experienced view it is a lot clearer to me why I had such a hard time when coming off of the shrooms this first time. I did them alone which was a bad thing for a first time. I also did them late at night. I couldn't fully enjoy the trip because I was worried about getting to sleep eventually. The main thing was the fact that the trip was so intense and at times overwhelming. Since I had never experienced any sort of high even remotely similar to this one, I had no idea what to expect or how to handle myself. I think I did reasonably well considering that things could have gone a lot worse if I had let my mind wander too much.
Generally though, I would rather do shrooms in a parentless house with some good friends during the day, maybe even with a sober person there to look after me if anything goes wrong. I have had amazing experiences with shrooms in situations like that. My main point of this story is that shrooms are amazing, but not such a good idea to do alone.
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