Mushrooms - P. mexicana & Cannabis
Citation: Verivalta. "System Overload: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. mexicana & Cannabis (exp48936)". Erowid.org. Sep 25, 2007. erowid.org/exp/48936
Background: I've done marihuana, hash, mdma, mda, speed, ether, morning glory seeds, painkillers and mushrooms before, so I guess you can say I'm a little experienced.
Set & Setting: I was gonna eat the truffles with my girlfriend(J) and it was gonna be her first time. She had Psilocybe cubensis cause they're a good laugh and not too strong for a first timer. The trip was gonna take place in my entertainment room, where I have a comfortable couch, blacklight, pc with lovely sound system, and a wall full of flyer that's quite a sight with the blacklight on. I cleaned up a bit, putting everything away that could disturb us, lit some candles and incense and dimmed the lights. Then I arranged the music on my pc so we would have some cool stuff to listen to, aphex twin and some hard DnB as J loves that stuff as well. My mindset was actually pretty good, although I have been depressed for about a month I was feeling excellent. Same goes for J as she told me she was quite excited and was really looking forward to it.
We ate the shrooms, they didn't taste too bad for me but J didn't like em that much. They still went in without a problem. We then sat on the couch and watched a family guy episode (petarded) which was quite funny. When that was done I put on some music cause
I was getting a bit lightheaded. J agreed and I put on an Aphex Twin live set which has been a longtime favourite so I felt it was an excellent choice to get in the groove.
Ok, Definitely tripping now, the wall of flyers was starting to shift and some posters were dripping, J was also having visuals and we were both kinda staring into our own little world. The last time I had taken truffles it kinda stayed at this point for visuals but I got really joyful and couldn't stop giggling. This time it was different though. For the first hour of tripping the visuals kept getting stronger and stronger to the point where I thought I was sitting on a cloud (the couch) and we were headed for a tornado (the wall was spinning like a maniac). I noticed J was tripping hard too so I asked her what she was seeing and if liked it, she really did and started laughing at everything and just having fun with me, which was all really pleasant.
We are both pretty much off the world now. I'm lying down on the couch looking up and playing with an incense stick. J is standing in the middle of the room moving to the music and staring at the winamp visuals on the computer. We were in those positions for about half an hour just tripping like crazy. After that J came to sit with me on the couch and we started giving each other hand massages. The next day she said she thought I was made out of clay and she was trying to make a figurine. Also I must note that kissing is a really weird feeling like melting into each other.
Really need to try that again cause it felt pretty awesome.
At this time we were getting a bit fed up with being in the room all the time and I opened a window to catch some fresh air. When I looked outside, it was a full moon, REALLY cold, and there were like a zillion stars and the few clouds were looking A-MA-ZING. So we rushed outside and went for a walk. I live in a protected nature environment so it's really pretty. Normally I can't see shit when I'm in the dark cause I'm nightblind but now I had absolutely no problem seeing where I was walking. We went up a path for about half a mile stopping every 30 seconds or so to look up and gaze at the sky.
Finally we made it to where I was planning to go. A giant pit in the ground, 30 metres deep, 150 metres diametre I think. We had a super fantastic view of the sky there and stood looking up for about an hour, holding each other and pointing out stuff and just in general being amazed about how fuckin' beuatiful it was. After that we walked on and came to a slope where it was really dark. There the sky was even more amazing and at this moment I had a feeling of this intense connection to nature, I was so happy to be a tiny part of this spectacle and decided always to be nice to nature (I've always been tho:)
We got home, smoked a big joint (high quality hash and weed) and sat for about 15 minutes on the couch smoking it. This I believe was one of my errors of the evening. We should have just let the joint 'till the morning and talked for some more cos the weed & hash took away the feeling I had when we were outside. I just felt tired and I could feel my mind 'closing'.
All of a sudden I got a sense of panic and something inside me said 'oh-oh'. I told J what I was feeling she said let's go to bed, some sleep will help (second error). I agreed and we went to my bedroom. At this time I could hardly walk and I knew something was up. I laid in bed, turned of the lights and BAM, I started thinking and thinking and thinking. The thoughts were coming a 100 times faster then when I'm on speed and I could feel myself slipping away.
Then I really started to get fucked up, I had made such an intense reasoning in my mind that I couldn't figure out what I was thinking or what the solution was. I WAS TRAPPED IN MY MIND!
I tried to tell J my problem so maybe she could help me figure it out but all I could say was one or 2 incoherent words, think about them for 1 second and just completely forget whether I had said them or just thought them. This made me slip away in fear cause I was convinced I had made terrible error and now I was doomed to live like this forever, only being able to oppress the speeding thoughts for a few seconds to babble something impossible to understand and then just slipping into fear again.
Being so completely of the world I had forgotten that J was on her first trip and I didn't realise how much I was scaring her. At one point I tried to explain my 'headfuck' problem to her and got stuck after 2 words. She whispered 'Please say it honey, just say it' and I could hear the desperation in her voice. This kinda catapulted me back into myself and I was able to from a few sentences 'J, am I babbling fucked up shit?'. She hesitated and I said 'Please be honest this is an emergence, J tell me!' She said I was and said she was very worried.
I told her I had a problem in my head that I was unable to get out of and that I needed her to try to talk me out. She tried as good as she could but having no experience with tripping people she was unable too (I wish I made her read a guide on psychedelics [error3]). At this point my heart was pounding like crazy and my there was pounding in my head at like 300 bpm. I started shaking real bad and then J took my hand and curled up against me. I realised I was not alone, she was here for me and I was tripping! Relief went through me for a moment. But oh shit, there come the speeding thoughts about the problem again.
Suddenly I told J I was getting up to listen to some music. I went into my other room and tried to focus on the music and lyrics. At first I couldn't even remember the lyrics of my fav song and that made me freak out once again. But after about 15 minutes I was able to slowly sing along and I felt my hearbeat slow down, the shaking also went away a little bit I was able to focus on something like reading.
I was so happy about it that I sat in my chair listening to some music and sorta getting myself back together before I went back to bed. I came into the bedroom, J looked up to me and I said 'Hey hun, it's me again. I'm okay now'. Then I just crashed and slept for a few hours. In the morning I had a TERRIBLE headache that felt as if I had a terrible overload on my brain and there was a short circuit. I could barely walk and lost some speaking ability. Other than that I was feeling okay.
This was a really weird trip for me. I saw the most beautiful things when we were outside (WOW!) and then I got locked inside my own mind (VERY intense feeling of total terror). I kinda believe that the bad trip came from not being able to comprehend the beauty of what I saw and I just went into some kind of overload. The first part of the trip was too good to be true, a real life changer, and the aftermath was HELL. Guess thats the price to pay, I'm just glad I got out of it and I'm feeling normal again.
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