Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Phillie Blunt. "Single Greatest Experience of My Life: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp49465)". Erowid.org. Sep 25, 2007. erowid.org/exp/49465
I am 16 years old. This happened over a year ago so the details are a bit fuzzy, but I think this experience is worth sharing. My previous experiences with drugs before this were lots of reefer, Hawaiian Baby Woodrose, and alcohol.
It was a day after Thanksgiving in 2004. Every time I get off school, my primary objective is to get fucked up. My dealer called me up in the afternoon and asked me if I wanted some 'shroom bars', which were ice cube sized chocolate bars with chopped mushrooms inside of them. I got 1 shroom bar for 20 bucks. I was told that there was about an eighth in the bars but I later concluded from my experience and from the accounts of everyone else I knew who purchased the shroom bars that there was probably a little bit less than that, but that wasn't important.
When my parents fell asleep, I pulled the shroom bar out of the freezer and let it thaw in my room for a few minutes. I took a butter knife and carefully sawed (it was frozen) the bar in half. I was given specific instructions from the man I bought it from to eat half a bar and an hour into it, if I wanted to trip harder, go ahead and eat the rest. I ate the first half.
I hung out in my room for about forty five minutes with no noticable effects except for increased sensitivity to light. After about an hour, I was kind of pissed that I wasn't tripping yet. Later I learned that this was not the right attitude to have. But anyway, I ate the rest of the shroom bar, expecting little to no effects. About an hour and fifteen minutes after ingesting the first half, I decided to get on my computer and chat with some of my more drug experienced friends. I talked to my two pseudonymous friends, Tom and Kevin. Tom loved drugs. I figured he would be a good person to talk to about the effects of mushrooms. The strongest drug Kevin ever tried was alcohol. Kevin is a good friend of mine though and was pretty tolerant to people that do drugs. Here's how my online conversation went with Tom (summarized and shortened):
Tom: You eat them shrooms?
Me: Yeah, man I ate them like a half an eighth bout an hour ago. I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to eat the rest.
Tom: Dude, you fucked up. In about a half hour, you'll be brain dead.
Me: The good kind or the bad kind?
Tom: The good kind
This was comforting. I was having a conversation with Kevin, which consisted mostly of him poking fun at me and typing trippy things to me. And suddenly, while I was talking to him, the text on the screen shuddered. Suddenly it was very difficult for me to read, similar to trying to read text in a dream. I explained to Kevin that I was gonna go to my room and trip. I walked into my room, with a feeling of sudden euphoria and it felt like my body weighed less. I was surprised at how abruptly the effects kicked in. Tom's words seemed almost prophetic.
I laid down on my bed and just stared at the ceiling with a feeling of total well being. Not a care in the world. I was just so HAPPY! I slowly drifted farther and farther into this world of euphoria. I closed my eyes for just a minute. Instantly, I felt my existence spill into the cosmos. My spirit became part of the eternal, singular consciousness that is the universe. I realized it was this consciousness that created me and everything that can be considered something. I saw everything and I saw nothing. I had some closed eye visuals. They were pretty intense but I still consider them secondary to this whole experience. It's very difficult to try to explain what I saw. It was like flying through a black and white striped tunnel at a very high speed. I opened my eyes. I must be peaking, I thought to myself. Once again, I closed my eyes and experienced this shared awareness with the universe for about an hour. This was the single greatest experience of my life.
I opened my eyes and realized I was crying because I was so happy. So filled with joy. I saw the world as a whole. I knew there was so much good, but at the same time I did not deny the bad. But it just all made sense. Everything made sense. I spent the next hour, analyzing my own psyche. I pointed out to myself specific childhood events that made me what I am today. To this day, I still have a better understanding of myself. I spent the rest of the trip just thinking about my future. I thought about all the opportunities I had. After all I was 15 years old and still had decent grades in school.
Also, for the remainder of the trip, I noticed that I had this really cool feeling where everything my brain perceived from my five senses would register as one sensation. This was disorienting but at the same time, it was really cool. After a while, I came down. I still had an afterglow which kept me slightly above baseline, but still able to function for the most part. I wrote a few philosophy rants and just hung out. The afterglow kept me up until five in the morning. Every time I fell asleep it felt like I was tripping again. But eventually I fell asleep and in the morning, I just felt drained. I was pretty apathetic to everything that went on, but luckily it was an uneventful day.
This was the most rewarding trip I've ever had on any drug. It endowed me with so much insight. I learned some crucial lessons that night. One was that I learned why I am who I am. Secondly, I could imagine what a spirit is. A spirit is the raw core of a human being. Whether it exists psychologically or supernaturally is something I couldn't distinguish. But that wasn't really important. A spirit is the essence of a human being. Even though a person's psychology can change, the spirit never changes. I believe that our minds, at a core, structural level revolve around the spirit. Or maybe I was just really fucked up. I dunno. And finally, I learned that reality is TOTALLY subjective. The only thing that makes it what it is to me is how I perceive senses. Of course there is some raw, physical reality, which is the container of all that is tangible and material. But reality as I know it is entirely dictated by my minds and my senses.
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