Citation: Platinum. "Bad Yet Still Amazing: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp49791)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2019. erowid.org/exp/49791
For sometime I had been thinking about trying mushrooms, and when the opportunity arose I was more then happy to try them.
The day started fairly early, my friends and myself decided to meet at my friends house. Since his parents were to be gone all day we thought it was the perfect time. Me and 3 others decided to try mushrooms so we called my friend to pick them up. All together we picked up 3 eighths. Two of my friends split an eigth, myself and my other friend decided to go all out for our first time and take a full eigth. (Sure this may not sound like a lot to some more experienced users, but for a first time it was plenty... trust me.) So we all took them, I decided to eat them with peanut butter and fluff.
After some time (how long I don't remember) I started to feel the effects. I first knew that I was feeling it when I went to light a cigarette. I had the cigarette in my mouth and I cupped my hands around (to protect the flame from the wind). When I attempted to light the cigarette I couldn't figure out how far away the flame was from the cigarette. My hands turned into a tunnel, and everything seemed far away. After several minutes I finally lit my cigarette. A few drags in, I broke the cigarette in half, unaware of how hard I was holding it. After another 2 cigarettes broke, I gave up. I decided to go into my friends computer room and just relax for a little while. This is when things got crazy. I looked at the computer screen and saw a picture I had made with MSPaint. I took a picture of a trippy looking mushroom I found online and used bright colors to fill it in. The mushroom was moving back and forth. This was a good experience, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Then my attention turned towards some pictures on the wall. 3 clowns. Yes... clowns. Each clown was in a different position, but they were all moving. The center one looked at me, waved, and winked. At this time I bugged out. I kept repeating, 'The clowns... the clowns!!! THEY ARE SO FREAKY!!! GET THEM AWAY!!!' Although I was freaked out, I found them very fascinating.
I quickly left the room and went back outside to where my friends were. When I came outside the rest of my friends were definately feeling the effects. The other kid who ate the eigth was seeing some crazy stuff, I don't remember what exactly. Anyway, sitting there in my chair, I looked around, at the fence, at the grass, at the house, all of which started to move and sway much similar to the mushroom I had seen earlier on the computer. Again, I attempted to light a cigarette, and again it broke. I gave up right away on that. At this time my mind was going insane, I started to talk and mumble. I tried to explain to my friends what I was seeing but they were all getting annoyed at me. So I sat there quietly. That's when things went bad, very fast.
I started to talk to myself, specifically I don't remember what but I can't imagine what it was because the next thing I knew, I started to have a bad trip. Thoughts of death entered my mind, and my mind went into a loop. Thoughts of life lead to thoughts of death. Thoughts of death led to thoughts of being alone in the world. These thoughts led to me thinking 'wow, I'm alone in the world, if I die right now, nobody can save me, not my mother, not my friends, nobody. I'm all alone.' These thoughts then went back to life, and so the loop continued. These thoughts were flowing rapidly through my mind. The whole loop lasted about 30 seconds before the loop started again, so you can imagine how fast these thoughts went through my mind. (these thoughts were obviously a lot deeper then I just described them but they were very intricate and confusing.) At this time a friend walked in, and I asked him not to leave. I tried to explain to him what was going on, but I couldn't find the words to explain it. All I could get out was 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die.' This obviously freaked him out. (This person by the way was a sitter, someone who had never tried mushrooms.) He immediately called others in to try to comfort me, but nobody could help me. At some point I went outside (it was now quite late as the sun was starting to set. We didn't actually get the mushrooms until about 2, taking them at about 4) When I went outside, my friends told me that they needed to go somewhere, and I insisted that I come, I had to get out of the house and go somewhere. The car ride was quite fun, but the thoughts still looped in my mind. Upon arriving back at the house I immediately went back to the computer room where I had been experiencing these negative effects and got under a blanket because I was freezing. I kept telling my friends 'Don't call my mom. Wait... maybe you should. I'm scared, I'm going to die. WAIT NO!!! DON'T CALL THEM!!! Wait... maybe you should. NO!!' and this went on for roughly 5 minutes. Suddenly I snapped out of it, I stood up, walked outside, and lit a cigarette, once again breaking it.
I don't know what happened to me. I just stopped myself and told myself it was just my mind, none of it was true. I told myself to get up, and enjoy the rest of the night. I told myself not to worry, if anything happened my friends were here, and that nothing WOULD happen. I snapped myself out of it. Looking back, I find it quite amazing how fast I was able to snap myself out. The whole bad experience lasted only about an hour.
At some point during my bad trip my other friends who had already taken them decided to get more, and took them.
Once outside I enjoyed the trip thoroughly. I enjoyed everything. I looked at the ground at some point, and the black rocks in the concrete seemed like little bugs, slidding around on the cement. It was cool. I decided I could handle more. I picked up another eigth and split it with a friend. We also bought some marijuana and enjoyed that to. I handled it fine. The rest of the trip was quite pleasant, and I would definately do it again.
In hindsight the reason I experienced this bad trip was because I didn't know what to expect. The mushrooms hit me very hard, very fast. And since I had never tried them before I was unaware of what to expect. This story isn't meant to scare people, but to meerly let people know that this is not a light drug. I haven't tried them again, not out of fear, but just because the opportunity hasn't arose. I would definitely do them again, and I would definitely take the same dosage. I'm now aware of what to expect and I honestly believe I could handle it again.
Days later my friends told me exactly what I was saying. They are still stunned as to how exactly I got myself out of the bad trip, but they are glad I was able to do so. I apologized and sincerely thanked them for staying there with me. I am very grateful to have friends that care about me.
A big lesson I learned is that atmosphere is key. Without a comfortable environment with people I know and trust, I would not want to use mushrooms.
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