DOSE: T+ 0:00	2.5 g	oral	Mushrooms
T+ 0:30	1 tablet	oral	MDMA
T+ 0:45	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

Suicide by Insanity Emanant

For a long time I would read about of the exeriences of people on psychoative substance. It always facinated me at how much detail went into describing the terror and insanity of a bad trip, I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined what they really meant by it until yesterday. I have done mushrooms before, and had a decent time, I was looking at a better time so I got a hold of some x and some endo.

It was me, my girlfriend M and my friend Val. We all do these things together. The vibes I've built with them gave me some confidence. Us three have done plenty of x, smoke alot, done shrooms before, and tried plenty of opiates.

People always talk about trolling, and how bad ass it is. Well I was determined to have a bad ass time. Val and M all got to the hotel at about 3:45 to great our lime soaked shrooms. We all got a spoon out, chewed away at the little guys and downed the lime juice deconcentrated by some OJ. We all had not eaten all day and were well aware that in about 30 minutes, we were in for a crazy time. About 30 mins into it, I pop my blue dolphin, and so does M. Val got a hold of a purple lady and popped that to. There were a couple of blue dolphins left over and we decided we'd all split them when the shrooms and x started to wear off.

It's now about 4:30 and me val and M all take some rips from our pipe. So we're currently totally stoned, shrooming semi-intensely, and rolling balls. I havn't rolled this hard since my first time and that is saying alot. I roll at least twice a month, if not every weekend.

Little did I know, this would be a major contributor to the completley unwanted trip I was about to embark on. We could tell the shrooms were still setting in, because I got that wierd feeling where the bed is moving forward or backward but I'm not really moving. It had only been an hour and already the curtains patterns were crawling every and the pitch in music start changing constantly.

Its about 4:45 and the x is at full load and the shrooms are still climbing, the vibrations became menacing. It all started when M came out of the bathroom attempting to hide her terror and tears. I felt my heart drop when I found out she was starting to get a bad trip . I tried to distance myself so as not to share the experience but it was to no avail, my emotions came in floods so strong I almost fell each time I shifted. Val was tripping because he was constantly asking himself questions and answering them and playing with his fingers and looking at walls and stuff. M was going berserk, she was in the bathroom naked yelling rather loudly, this all got me very worried, the cops could come you know? Good thing it was super bowl day, that gave a purpose to the yelling in the eyes of the neighbors.

Well, shit went from bad to worse, we all began feeling rushes of paranoia and fear and moved franticly around the room in search of comfort, but there was no escaping the questions, the colors, the patterns, the demons, the extreme heat despite the AC being at about 65 degrees, I felt so confined, it felt as though I had been in that room for days and there was nothing outside but emptiness. Nothing existed but this room and us three. M by this time was totally gone. She wasn't even talking anymore, just twitching and rolling on the floor making wierd sounds and movements. She would randomly say peoples names and my name. But the louder she got, the more paranoid I got.

Val decided he would leave us alone and go to his car and trip. This was a bad idea because my mind was caught in the dreaded loop. I would forget he was not leaving and would get worried, I ran outside and found him in his car just sitting there, there was a man walking his dog and this just sent me through the wall. I ran downstairs and told him the cops were coming and told him to get back to the room, well we finally got back upstairs and M was just beyond the point of no return. It was just Val and me trying to keep a lid on the situation. The rooms was spinning, the beds were making noises and moving, the counters would grow large, the curtains were menacing in their patterns and movements, the room was shifting from deep red to deep blue, do deep green on a constant basis, the lights were dimming and brightening as they pleased, the TV was unrecognizable, the computer we had was emmiting strange noises I couldnt decifer, the sound of the television scared me, I looked out the window literally every minute to make sure cops weren't coming. I was pouring sweat and was in a deep terror I could not possibly explain to you. M was so gone it wasnt even funny. Val left much later and I was alone with a psychopath in the room. I looked at the time finally, what felt like days, weeks, was no more than a few hours. It was 9:00 and I was finally calming down, a sense of euphoria ran accross me that assured me that I was out of danger. No cops were coming, the trip was subsiding, and the room wasnt changing colors anymore.

The room was a mess, it was a scene right out of fear and loathing in las vegas. Fruit and juice and papers and pencils everywhere, it was insane, the mess made me paranoid for some reason. It was almost 10 and M was still gone, I had no idea what to do. I drove her home, and put her to bed while her dad was in his room. I drove home and found him standing outside my door, another plus for my trip. M was gone until 2 in the morning, no exaggeration. I have no idea how a 6 hour trip was possible, much less a 10 hour one.

As the x wore off I found myself in a crash. Extreme depression and paranoia accompanied by exhaustion and extreme heat. The emotions I were feeling were so numerous and intense that I felt the only way to save myself from permanent insanity was to kill myself right there and now. It took me 2 hours of concerted effort to get the thought out of my head.

Today, is just horrible. My body is exhausted, my mind is overloaded, my emotions are either none or depressed.

Would I do it again, the combination of such intense drugs? No, but I am looking forward to shrooming again. The situation could have been terrible had things not happened the way they did. Val and me kept a semi-straight head most of the time and that might be why I'm not in jail right now.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 50325
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 14, 2019	Views: 3,455
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MDMA (3), Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Hangover / Days After (46), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)