DOSE: T+ 0:00	20 g	oral	Mimosa tenuiflora	(liquid)
T+ 0:25	3.0 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

290 lb

I really needed a vacation. Life was taking its toll on me. Raising four young boys is not nearly as easy as it is making them. I must get away for a little while. My friend James and I decided to go camping by ourselves. So, leaving the wives and kids behind, we headed off to our local national forest for a weekend of peace and quiet. Little did we know that this journey would be the most extraordinary experience of our lives.

James and I used marijuana and LSD quite often as young adults. Now being in our mid-thirties we wanted to experience our psychedelic youth once again. LSD not being readily available to someone who has been out of the scene for almost fifteen years, we decided to try some San Pedro cactus during our weekend alone.

I found what appeared to be some fairly nice cuttings of San Pedro. I assumed this would give both of us a nice, mellow trip. My cuttings came and one was in really bad shape while the other was in beautiful shape with slight blue tinting. The other cutting was really soft with a lot of black mushy spots. I decided that this sick cactus wasn’t going to be consumed and threw it away. At this point we didn’t have enough time to bid on, and win, another cutting.

I decided that I would give James the San Pedro and try some Ayahuasca instead. Neither of us had tried either one these entheogens, but I felt we had our bases covered. I ordered 56 grams of high quality inner M. hostilis root bark and 114 grams of P. harmala seeds. According to what I had read, this would be plenty for two doses. The recipe called for 20g of M. hostilis root bark and 3g of powdered P. harmala seeds per dose. I received my package two days before we were supposed to leave. Hopefully, we had what we needed.

I prepared the M. hostilis by cutting the pieces of root bark into dime-sized pieces and putting them in a blender. The blender turned the root bark to a light purple powder with root fibers still quite visible. The powder was very fine and went into the air like purple smoke when I opened the top on the blender. I assumed it was supposed to look like that. I then added a third of a cup of lime juice and 600 ml of distilled water to a ceramic pot. I dumped in the root bark powder and heated to a medium boil. I let it boil for about fifteen minutes and reduced the heat and let simmer for approximately thirty minutes. I removed the pot from the stove and allowed the entire mixture to cool enough so it could be handled safely. The mixture was strained through a colander with a cotton t-shirt in the bottom. The solid matter that was left in the t-shirt was thoroughly squeezed out and I was left with a compact purple ball of root fiber. I placed the root fiber ball in a freezer bag and stored it in the freezer. The liquid was added back to the original ceramic pot and allowed to reduce with low heat.

I was left with approximately 500 ml of dark purple liquid. I place this into a water bottle and stored in refrigerator. I decided not to reduce further because I was afraid of breaking down the DMT, therefore diminishing the desired effects. The P. harmala seeds were placed in freezer bag and beat with hammer until thoroughly crushed – approximately 8 grams.

I must admit that I didn’t have much faith in either of these recipes. If something was really as good as everybody says it is it would probably be illegal. I was willing to try it once, anyway.

James got to my house Friday morning and we began to prepare the San Pedro. I sliced the entire twenty inch cutting into half inch thick stars and blended away. We placed the green goo into a plastic bowl with lid and decided to cook it at the camp site. I need to add that I was extremely glad James was going to be the one to drink that foul looking concoction. I truly believe I would have vomited before I ever got the first sip down.

We arrived at our campsite and began to set up. We had selected the most beautiful site around. We were on top of a very high hill and could see for miles and miles in every direction. I couldn’t believe we were actually going to be away from our families for the entire weekend. I just hoped we could get some kind of result from our nasty looking drinks. I began to gather wood for our fire while James set up the tent.

We took an enameled stock pot and added about 300 ml of bottled lemon juice and one liter of water and placed the pot on the fire. After cooking for quite some time the cactus mixture lost the snot consistency and ugly foam head. The liquid was reduced and thick. We allowed it cool for about an hour. We were left with about 500 ml of the nastiest shit ever cooked for consumption. I was not impressed.

I told myself that you have to make up your mind and drink it down like a man. BULLSHIT!!!!! I stuck my finger in this mess and got my first taste of vomit in a pot! I decided right then and there that I if I didn’t get the expected results from the Ayahuasca there was no way in hell I was going to drink that shit! I couldn’t let on just how bad I thought it was. After all, James still had to get this mess down. Good luck, fella!!

We waited until sundown to finally see what we had come here for. I ate about 3 grams of the powdered P. harmala, following the recipe I found on the internet. I told James it was time for him to drink up. He wasn’t excited – at all. He just sat there looking at it and sighing. James! James! James! James! My cheerleading was only able to coax him into one sip. The taste was too foul! Fuck this! It looked like I was going to be on my own tonight.

Twenty-five minutes after my first mouthful of pulverized P. harmala I ate another two grams and downed about 250 ml of the purple ayahuasca. It wasn’t good but I had no trouble getting it down. I decided to smoke a bowl to help with my anxiety and sit back and wait. I really didn’t know what to expect and I think I was quite high before I realized it. In retrospect, I can see that I started to feel high after only ten or fifteen minutes. I might add that I had only eaten one Pop-Tart about ten hours before taking the Ayahuasca.

My first hallucinations came at about the thirty minute mark. I was looking at a large silver trash bag under a small card table James had brought. This bag was a pig with goat-like horns eating our food. Oh, God, please help me! From that moment on I began to experience the most beautiful and sometimes terrifying visions I have ever experienced on drugs. It kept building and building. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly get any higher it would increase exponentially. My body was limp and extremely relaxed. My head rolled effortlessly on my shoulders as though I was nodding off after taking some kind of narcotic.

I had visions of floating in an orange ocean of love. I felt love surrounding me and holding me like a little baby. Everything was OK. There was no place I would rather be, then or now. I sat swaying in the arms of love, a love unlike any I knew existed. I was truly content. I would involuntarily grunt and moan in extreme pleasure. I later realized that it must have sounded as though I was having sex in the tent. I was – mind sex. I had brain orgasm after brain orgasm. I now know that there is nothing in this world than can compare to ayahuasca mind masturbation. Swirling visuals and an unending spectrum of colors held my mind for the next hour.

At about the hour and fifteen minute mark my mouth started watering profusely. I had to let the visuals go for a minute and figure out what was going on here. I was then shown what the shaman refers to as La Purga. I vomited like I’ve never vomited before. Just when I thought it was over, I had the deepest regurgitation ever. I truly believe this must have been from vomit in my feet! I remember looking at James and he has his fucking fingers in his ears.

I was glad I did not eat because of the volume of vomit that spewed up. After what seemed like buckets and buckets of puke there was no visible pile – I was astonished! After regaining my composure, I resumed my position around the fire.

My high had now become less intense. I was so content. I began to look deeply at myself and what was going on in my little world. What I had thought was so important seemed so petty. Everything that caused me a great deal of anxiety now seemed inconsequential. For some strange reason I felt throughout the whole evening that I was being guided and protected by a feminine entity of some kind. I never really saw a woman, but I felt as if a woman was showing me everything – like a mother would her child.

The rest of the evening was spent reflecting on what I had seen and the emotions coupled with them. It was a very spiritual event. I couldn’t believe that it actually worked. I had my doubts that there was anything to Ayahuasca. I am now a believer.

The entire episode lasted about six hours - the true psychedelic episode only being about one hour and forty-five minutes. The remaining time was just a very MDMA-like high with extremely vivid closed eye visuals. I was surprised that I was able to eat while being so freakin’ high. I was able to get down some bratwurst on a hotdog bun. Man, it was good, too! I remember feeling quite disappointed when the high began to wane. It was so beautiful, I never wanted it to end. A restless sleep soon followed.

We were awakened Saturday morning by a helicopter flying just above the trees. It was spraying the lower part of the hill. This was very irritating because I was really in a mood to reflect on what happened the night before. I felt very different today, like I had been renewed or born again. The way I looked at everything around me was different. I was peaceful. I was feeling the afterglow of the love from the night before.

James and I wasted an entire day doing nothing but laying around. Through my reaction and constant badgering I had convinced James to take half of the second dose of ayahuasca. James is very much a cautious type of man. He is the perfect person to have at your side when I decide to take a psychedelic voyage. I don’t believe there is anyone who could have made my trip as pleasant as he did that first night. It is good to be with friends.

The evening was coming on quickly. We had decided that we would take the Ayahuasca a little earlier tonight so that we might enjoy the magnificent sunset. I thought that having some sunlight might help intensify the already spectacular visuals I had the night before. It was time to get the show on the road.

We consumed our 3 grams of P. harmala seeds and waited for about twenty-five minutes. We then consumed the last bit of seeds in the bag (approximately one gram split between us). James decided that he would consume only about one-third of his half of the second dose. I eagerly drank my half and the rest of his. We plopped our butts down by the fire and smoked a bowl. Waiting.

The effects quickly began to show themselves. My head began to roll loosely on my shoulders and a trance-like feeling was apparent. I knew it was coming on. I could tell something was different this time. The ayahuasca was hitting really hard and fast. Everything was bent and distorted. I couldn’t stand up without falling down. I was looking at my leg and the flesh began to drip off. I knew I didn’t want to be here right now. I had this overwhelming feeling that the ayahuasca was telling me I didn’t wait long enough to take it again. I felt as though I were treating the Ayahuasca as just another recreational drug. Now I must be punished. I was terrified. I have never been so scared in my life. I remember thinking that I will never make it back from this trip. I am going to stay this way for the rest of my life.

I crawled away from the fire and began reaching my fingers down the back of my throat. It wasn’t working. I couldn’t make myself throw-up. I screamed at James that I must get this shit out of me. Minutes later it came on its own. A forceful vomit is a good vomit when I am trying to keep my sanity. I heaved and heaved. My fear and anxiety quickly left and I was up walking around and looking at the sunset.

We once again took our places around the fire. Again, terror hit me like a huge wave. I was crushed with fear. There was no hope this time. My vision was so distorted and incoherent that I couldn’t tell where I was. I didn’t know which way was up! I crawled into the tent and buried my face into my pillow. I prayed that God would spare me this torture.

I first noticed the sound of crumpling plastic wrap and thought James must be eating a Pop-Tart or something. I was pissed. Here I am in this state of living hell and he’s eating a fucking Pop-Tart. But then it just kept getting louder and louder. This sound was overwhelming. That’s when it happened.

I was suspended in blackness. I felt weightless and disoriented. I noticed a rectangular window, I guess it was, coming towards me through the blackness and stopping right in front of me. There were three, what appeared to be disco balls, bouncing in front of me at different frequencies. I remember thinking how odd it is that I should see bouncing balls in black space. The ball on the left was bouncing really fast for a second as if it was aggravated with me or something. There was no sound or communication that I remember. I noticed the ball on the left started bouncing left to right instead of up and down. I turned my head left and saw what appeared to be a shiny, metallic seahorse inside a rotating sphere. I use the word seahorse because that is as close as I can come in English to describing this creature. There appeared to be many colored panes of glass inside this sphere behind this seahorse creature. I remember feeling this was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You must understand that at this point I feel no buzz or high of any kind. It was me, in my normal state of mind, looking at the most beautiful thing ever. It ended as quickly as it had begun. I know there were other visions, but I can’t remember them to save my life. What a pity.

I became aware that I was back on earth with my head buried in my pillow. America’s “Ventura Highway” was playing and I was once again surrounded by love. I looked at my watch and it had only been thirty-five minutes since I drank the Ayahuasca. It seemed as though it had been days. I lie there in this ocean of trance-pleasure for the next hour and a half.

Much to my surprise, James’ small dose proved to be quite adequate. He later reported that he had never tripped so hard in his life. This was very surprising considering he only consumed about 50ml. I later confirmed this dosage when taking only a very small amount. The recipe I used was supposed to be for two doses. I have found that I could have gotten approximately ten or more from the ingredients. I don’t think I am quite ready for the heroic doses of Terence McKenna.

The rest of the evening was, for the most part, silent. The occasional, “You OK, man”, was as much as I cared to say. I eventually went back to my psychedelic semi-sleep.

The next morning was quite cold. I built the fire to almost bonfire status while James slept completely covered next to the fire. My reflections on the previous night weren’t invaded by the sounds of a spraying helicopter. Silence was good. Once James was awake I found the he was in the same place I was. I believed he realized what I meant about not being able to really put into language what the ayahuasca experience is like. I felt in my heart that he was very glad to have experienced it.

We prepared a large breakfast of scrambled eggs, ham, and bratwurst. We ate our fill and then some. We began to pack our camp and prepared to leave. I was ready to go home, but something was telling me that I was not the same. I felt as though I were leaving my parents home for the first time again. Did I really want to leave the intense feeling of love and satisfaction behind? Could I ever find such intense love in my mundane life without ayahuasca? I don’t think so.

The drive home was silent. We both remarked how different things looked. I saw everything in a different way – not better, just different. The thought of having to explain the experience to my wife was hopeless. Explanation was futile – for me, anyway.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56746
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 23, 2006	Views: 29,840
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Syrian Rue (45), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Huasca Combo (269) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)