Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Cannabis & Nitrous Oxide
Citation: TheACE. "Understanding the Essence of Spiritualism: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Cannabis & Nitrous Oxide (exp57145)". Erowid.org. Sep 4, 2009. erowid.org/exp/57145
I have had some experiences with shrooms during the last 10 years, not more often than one or two times a year. So shrooming is always a very special thing to me, and I'm trying to prepare myself before going on the journey. A careful set and setting is very important. In particular, I only trip with people who are emotionally close to me, and whom I can trust.
A friend of mine, let's call him M, is a passionate grower of mushrooms. We found a perfect date for our trip: October 31, the night of Samhain. We met in his flat in a small town. We had 6 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis from the Koh Samui strain, a nice fat Cannabis bud (which I named 'Erica' later on) and 20 capsules of N2O. Although I usually don't mix drugs, I thought that the laughing gas would be able enhance the mushroom peak - an assumption that would prove right - and I would give it a try.
Thee of us (Ma, J and myself) smoked a joint while M (who doesn't smoke) prepared the dried mushrooms for ingestion. At 20:00 we took the mushrooms, as usually they tasted like shit, but this was the price we had to pay. I had abstained from eating and drinking for approximately 12 hours before eating the shrooms, to reduce the risk of feeling sick during the first hour. We ate the shrooms and poured them down with water.
The setting was as usual - plenty of candle light, some incense sticks, Psytrance music and some porn on the TV. Don't ask me why we always have the porn running in the background during our sessions! It's just an old tradition. One more thing I have to remark is that this was my first indoor trip. Usually I like to go out into the woods and enjoy the secrets of nature which the shroom can unravel. Each of us took 1.5 grams which is significantly less than my usual tripping dosage (about 3 grams). So I was in doubt whether I would have some psychedelic experience at all. But after only ten minutes the shroom knocked on my door, and I was sure it would be an interesting evening.
Just about half an hour later, when the four of us started to take off, another friend, let's call him F, appeared. He was in a very bad mood and immediately started an argument with J. I could feel the bad vibration he had brought with him, but I decided to ignore it, which worked perfectly. At 21:00 it was really difficult for me to read the clock as time was losing its meaning. The peak came, with lots of bright coloured visuals and a very gentle, calm feeling. We decided to give the N2O a try. I exhaled, took a long deep breath from the cream dispenser - and was smashed into fields of pulsating lights within a few seconds. The outside world had completely vanished and with my eyes open, I saw patterns and geometrical objects which are far too complex to describe them. Only after I had come back from the N2O explosion, I realized that my ego had dissolved. An experience that I only knew from high doses of Psilocybin.
I felt like I had lived a thousand lives in different times, at different planets, and I could remember some details from these lives. I could recall dreams and nightmares which were long forgotten. But because of the small doses we had taken, I was still able to control of my thoughts and my actions. So I was aware that these memories probably were just made up by my nervous system and I could use them to visualize my negative feelings - fear, anger, lack of self-consciousness, ... in order to be able to work with them. Psychoanalysis for beginners ,)
When the peak was over - about 22:00, but in my perception it was a very long timespan with several deja-vu situations where I thought time was repeating over and over - we were walking through the room, touching plants, looking at the flames of the candles, drinking water. Every 5 minutes someone had a piss. F, who had drank quite some amount of Vodka, had fallen asleep and was snoring heavily. The scenario must have looked very bizzare. We shared three more joints to fire up the shroomadelic experience again. On the street we heard the noise of drunken Halloween people, inhabitants of a world totally different to ours.
Then I meditated under a Ficus tree and could see behind the surface - I could percept the plant as it 'really' was, with my eyes closed. I knew that the Ego makes up all the illusions we are surrounded by, and that the only access to the deeper world of the being is to lose one's Ego. I understood the essence of Buddhism and any other type of spiritualism... I did not have to look for a meaning of my life any longer, because the meaning is inherent in all that there is. The world is unfolding exactly as it should. Everything that exists, has a meaning. And everything is good as it is. I had a long discussion with J on this topic, and we understood each other perfectly, with a very small amount of spoken words and long passages of silence.
This trip was very illuminating to me, although I felt kind of depressed for two days afterwards, because I knew that I could not communicate the truth I had experienced to the rest of the world. I entered a realm beyond the horizon of language and symbols. Although I had to return to everyday world, I will try to keep some of my spiritual experiences of that night within my heart.
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