Citation: Smurf. "Pregnant with God's Child: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp58624)". Erowid.org. Sep 9, 2009. erowid.org/exp/58624
To start, I'm 19 years old. I've only taken mushrooms 4, maybe 5, times in my life. However, that's been less than a year's time (05/05 - 10/05). I have an unusually high tolerance to everything, considering my size and weight (5 ft, 95 lbs). I usually have to smoke a lot to get high, drink a lot to get drunk, and take twice the suggested dosage for most pills to get the desired effect. Iím not all that religious. I consider myself Agnostic (not sure whatís out there, but, donít really care). Iíve never had any fears of death. To me, itís just something that happens to everyone. Youíre born, you pay taxes, and you die. Well, enough about me, on with the trip.
About 2 or 3 months ago, my boyfriend and I had taken 4 1/2 to 5 grams of Australian strain mushrooms. At first we were having a good time. We were at his friendís house, and the three of us were feeling pretty good. We were just sitting in the living room, just hanging out. First, we started off with smoking some while we were just watching T.V. I'm pretty sure we were just watching Comedy Central. Then they started play Dead Rising (X Box 360). That game kind of freaked me out, so I just played my DS. They played that for a little while, and then switched back to watching T.V. All the while none of us were freaking out or having a bad trip. We were having a pretty good time. Around 1 a.m., my boyfriendís friend went to sleep. So, my boyfriend and I just sat in the living room, where we continued to watch T.V. and smoke weed. Around 2 (I think) was when I really started to freak out.
My boyfriend and I were just lying there, and then he started talking about how he was hungry. I offered that we look for something to eat. He said no, and then said he had a hunger for brains, not regular food. He wasnít being too bad. He just kept saying he had this hunger and he didnít know why. We then had this huge freak out, because he talked about eating my brains. Since his friend was trying to sleep, I went out front to smoke a cigarette. My boyfriend came out after a while, not hungry for my brains anymore. Of course, though, he still joked about it. I guess that whole freak out made me trip harder.
Once we got back inside, I really started to feel the mushrooms. We sat back down on the couch and for some reason I thought he was God. First, it started with him telling me my dad had died, which he didnít. This freaked me out and I started to become hysterical. After I calmed down, I thought that I was pregnant. Keep in mind that I donít ever want kids and Iím not religious at all. Since I thought he was God, it was cool that I was having Godís child. You see, to me, it was just the two of us in this huge universe. I thought that since I figured out his secret, there was no one else left. I went on thinking for a while that I was pregnant, even though he was telling me otherwise.
After a while, we smoked some and lied on the couch and watched some comedian on Comedy Central. My boyfriend started making fun of the guy for some reason. At this point, I had turned into goody-goody Christian girl. I was telling my boyfriend that he needs to be nice and accept others for who they are. I began thinking that I need to get sober. Not right that very instant, but, in general. I kept rambling on about how I was going to help others, quit drugs, quit smoking cigarettes, and just all around be good. Since I was Godís girlfriend, it would be no sweat. This was definitely too weird for the two of us. However, I went on thinking this for a while.
Then the really scary stuff started. He just looked at me (or so I thought) and said that I was dying. I became hysterical. I donít know what I was dying from, but, to me it was real. My boyfriend was just telling me to calm down, chill out, drink some water and Iíll be fine. Thatís not how I saw it though. I thought he was telling me to calm down because it was going to happen either way. I started to get dizzy and see slight visuals of the room spinning and everything getting blurry. But for about an hour, I was so sure I was dying. Definitely the most intense and best trip Iíve ever had.
Now, the main reason Iím writing this is because about a week ago I started to get flashbacks. My boyfriend and I were driving to the corner store for some milk. All he asked me was if I remember working at Game Stop. Then it just hit me. I had a feeling I was tripping that night again. Thoughts of me dying rushed through my mind. I became hysterical again he had to pull over. Once again, though, I thought he was God. I thought that I was for sure dying. That was less than a week ago and Iím still having the same feelings and thoughts. Every now and then weíll be sitting and smoking then I get anxious about something (maybe me dying?). Now I just get dizzy, anxious, nauseous, and just feel like Iím going insane. Iíve had to chill on smoking weed, because that makes the feelings about 40% worse. Also Iím trying to quit smoking cigarettes, because they make the thoughts about 20% more intense. I started taking this homeopathic medicine called Ignatia Amara. Itís a medicine for nervousness and hypersensitivity. It says for everyday stress, but, I took that for about 2 Ĺ days and now I feel almost normal. Thereís also this other medicine for anxiety called L-Theanine. It works alright. It just makes me not care about the feelings and thoughts. The Ignatia Amrara makes it go away, though.
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