Citation: psilophile. "Soul Union: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp67776)". Erowid.org. Jun 22, 2021. erowid.org/exp/67776
Soul Union - Mushrooms and Tantra
I've had a few lifechanging experiences with psilocybe cubensis, my first two provoked what I can only describe as tantra. The first time I ate godflesh was my 18th birthday, late at night with a blissful family of friends. A bit after people went to thier bedrooms I still couldn't sleep and decided to bunk on the mattress with a single guy. He and I began copulating in an amazingly slow manner while our trip continued to escalate. Our bodies flowed like every particle of our beings was meant to mesh together. Initially, my mind was full of 'OH, God, this is perfect sex! This is what they mean!' We continued to breathe and operate on the godjuice, perfectly in sync with each other and gravity.
Gradually my mind filled with what seems like every thought and emotion I've experienced, until they became realized as One, then there was only the moment, oxygen, the sun that would never rise; I felt I'd experienced a satori. On a side note a week after that enlightening experience, I was listening to Tool's 'Lateralus' and contemplating Alex Grey paintings; and I felt, energetically, like I'd understood what the paintings were portraying, followed by my head lolling back and what felt like a 'full body orgasm' taking over, which I found out was a kundalini uprising.
The second time I imbibed the mushroom sacrament was just after I graduated high school, a friend and I were sitting in the park, blissfully enjoying each others conscious company, letting the mushrooms kick in as we basked in the amazement of each others awareness and playfully trying to cross our eyes in a manner that lets us visualize each others third eye. Our conversation became more of a completion of each others thoughts, that click and understanding, until there came a moment where we both felt the same thing, we were conscious of the Us consciousness, I and You melted away. The first click was a brief with a moment of confusion, sort of like 'What was that?' 'There is no 'Was', and We became I again. To keep up our connection it felt as if I would push us further along the spiral and he would pull with the energy of what he'd learned, teaching my consciousness something to digest so I could in turn power level us deeper. The whole night our internal and external environment was a conscious synchronicity, we felt this is exactly what we should be doing, this is what we pine for, this satisfies every metaneed. The clearest thing that was communicated was him telling me that he'd never truly experienced love and was abused as a child, and I could feel exactly how bad it was and cried with direct empathy.
The timeless hours had worn out our energy by sunlight, throughout the night to continue stimulating the connection it had degraded a bit because we needed physical manipulation of each other for serotonin drive, still clothed, a pure form of bodywork, pure tantra, occasionally needing an affectionate touch on bare skin. In the moments when the connection was weak it was because we would admit to desire, usually 'lets smoke', but we both knew it was a stoners neurotic impulse and continued to grace the Us until we didnt have enough energy at all, barely enough to force ourselves to find his glasses. At one of those weak moments, his eyes were shut and I could see that his Third eye was open.
We have grown apart a bit as friends since then. I took mushrooms with him again the day before yesterday, and massaging his back I still felt I knew his energy, I knew his body and the tensions that formed his muscles. I got really into the massage and it sunk us into a mild trance. The mushrooms as usual were very cathartic, so at one point I broke down sobbing on him because of the pining I felt for the connection to another conscious being again. Today I had a few synchronicities and broke through my depression with the acknowledment that God is conscious and satisfies every need one could have if I let go of desire, and the realization that someday I'll lose the feeling of separateness either through physical or ego death.
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