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Joy of Sadness #3
by Zam
Citation:   Zam. "Joy of Sadness #3: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp701)". Erowid.org. Oct 7, 2000. erowid.org/exp/701

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1.5 g oral Mushrooms (plant material)
September 1996
Grams 1.5 : weird body feel, mild discomfort, strange headspace. Crossed eyes produce mosaic /kaleidoscope images. Lying in the forest looking up, crossed eyes make the trees and sky look like a stained glass cathedral image.

Felt mild annoyance at bright incandescent lights... In the first 2 hours there are these waves of energy, sort of a feeling of being blasted through my body from legs to head with a shudder that moves my mind in some way. Could be frightening or exciting, but I think its neutral by itself.

A feeling of silliness for taking the mushrooms, of needing to go through this/these experiences to see. “What am I looking for?” “Why do I expect to find it with mushrooms?” I laughed and smiled at myself and the world for producing such an odd circumstance, at me for going through gyrations to feel in touch, to find myself… I realize how ridiculously impractical I am in the things I do. The way I dress, the way I do things, the fact that I haven’t learned to keep track of the simplest things. But overall, its a ‘good’ feeling.

Learn to ritualize movements so that I can learn them well, move slowly, deliberately, become more aware of my movements. Simplify. Get to know the things I’ve got so that each of the things I have and use I am familiar with. Get small bags for each of the things I want to carry: a bag for a pipe, a pipe, a bag for each different smoking mixture… These things became obvious to me as necessities on the path that I’ve chosen.

I tried to extend my range of perception and found no added abilities and became quickly distracted by other thoughts. I started to pay attention to strange visual effects and chose not to do so. I tried to focus on ‘healing’, by focusing on a friend’s dilemma and felt strongly the sadness of muddling through problems that have no clear resolution. I feel sadness and joy for the difficulty of things in life. I felt like I was able to connect more easily to feelings than I am normally.

I also felt and thought that what I am missing from my daily life is a quiet meditative space. That when I use the mushrooms I act in the way I would choose to act more often. Integrating the meditative, contemplative, quiet, connected feelings that I produce and act when seeking Spirit with mushrooms, may be more effective than doing the mushrooms themselves.

Overall effects: mild to medium, few visuals… enhanced feeling, mildly insightful, confusing, mildly illuminating. Another experience of ‘the joy of sadness’. Positive experience.


Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 701
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 7, 2000Views: 8,760
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Mushrooms (39) : Alone (16), General (1)

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