Citation: Square. "Open Up My Eyes: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp70492)". Erowid.org. Oct 13, 2019. erowid.org/exp/70492
Let me give you a bit of a background as to where I come from in terms of drugs. I have only smoked pot twice in my life, and gotten drunk three or four times total. Onto the experience.
The shrooms were obtained from a dealer that used to go to my school. His brother grows them in his room, in a sterile environment, therefore I didn't worry about if they had anything else in them or anything of that sorts.
6pm – taken orally, chewed with peanut butter
8pm – first noticeable affects start coming in. I remember being in the passenger seat of my sitter, and looking at the street ahead of me. The street lights took my interest, the way they were all aligned in one straight line along the road, somehow made me happy. The reflections from the lights on the dashboard started making eight swirls in front of my eyes. Closed eyes, made a cartoon appear in front of me. Think town from Mickey Mouse, with hills and flowers everywhere around me, going down the street with colorful houses jumping up and down.
8:30pm – driving down a street where an old friend from grade school died due to drunk driving. As I pass up the place where he was killed, I get stuck in a thought loop of how I never really got to know the kid before his death. This gets me sad a little, and pushes me towards the thought train, of how there are so many people on this earth, all living their own lives with their own problems, and how throughout life I'll only get to meet a few of them.
This is the first time this trip has changed me as a person. Before the trip, I was a shy person, I never really tried to go out of my way to try and meet new people. I was always nervous and quiet around those who I didn't know. After the trip, now about 7 months later, I can sit down and talk to a stranger without thinking twice about it. This year alone I met so many new people it's unbelievable.
9pm: we visit taco bell. Going into the building I feel a sense of hostility and it's magnified by the mushrooms. I walk in and sit down with the feeling that everyone there knew I was tripping, and that they were going to report me. I'm sweating balls, and freaking out at the same time. My friend orders food, but I can't even look at it because the scared feeling makes me lose my appetite.
This leads to the realization that I should eat healthy. I look at the food and for the first time, notice all the grease, saturated fats, and everything bad that comes with it along the line. Heart disease, being fat, dying young, and how if I ever have a family, it would be sad for me to pass away because of not eating right. I decide on leading a healthier lifestyle, since then I've lost 15lbs.
10pm: driving down the road I'm lost in trains of thought, and as if a boulder hits me in the back of my head I finally understand the meaning of God and for the first time truly 100% believe in him. He is not God in a sense of a person, as many would believe, but God is an entity, and throughout uniform energy that flows throughout everything. He is the sun, he is happiness, everyday of the week, love, sadness, the life in all living creatures who roam this earth. Or at least this is what I believe.
Going deeper and deeper into thought I am able to have a conversation with my conscience, all problems I have with other people are resolved in this conversation. I am able to understand why people chose to do the things they do. We are all born in different places at different times. We are all brought up in different environments, no one person has the same life experiences as the other. These experiences shape us into the humans we are. I lose all grudges I have against people. I now understand that when I get into a fight with somebody because of opposing views, even though I try to prove my point, neither is the right answer. There is no right and wrong. We define right and wrong based on what we are taught it to be, but who's to say that the true right is our wrong and vice versa.
This moves me into thoughts of how human interaction is so limited. We are forced to use language as a way to express ourselves to each other, and this itself is a limited thing. We cannot show those around us what goes on in hour heads 24/7, we can never truly understand each other. Yet somehow, we are in the end all the same, and are all human. We come from the same place. Humans come from other humans who come from humans before them, and in the end we all end up connected by that one couple. No matter white, black, Asian, we come from the same two people somewhere, some when.
It opened up my eyes, that life isn't as perfect as it seems to be. I see the unfairness, of how some people work their whole lives to achieve something, that a person like Bill Gates can get within a day's work. It also made me realize that there are no bad people in this world. There are only those who were taught wrong, and chose to follow that path because they don't know any other. They were never taught it and are stuck with that. Look at criminals, they didn't just up one day and say hey I think I'll start killing people today. It's the experiences in their life that led them to believe that killing is right.
It is safe to say I grew up tenfold that night, it opened up my artistic ability. I finally understood the concept of when drawing something, to not look at the whole object, but disect it and draw the lines. Those lines form the object on the paper. I thought I understood it before, but somehow afterwards I was able to visualize images in my head better, and transfer them onto paper. Before I viewed a tree as a tree. Now I understand because of that tree I am able to live, it provides me oxygen. But at the same time, it depends on me to water it and help it grow, protect it from the storms, tying it up, making sure it stays rooted in the ground. We are interdependent of each other, just like any other thing in this universe. Black holes cancel each other out so galaxies holding other life can continue spinning and moving on with time.
Was it worth it? In my opinion yes, it opened up my eyes, opened up my mind. There is so much more that I could write about, and how I am a changed person after the experience, but as I said that night “words are not enough”.
11pm – effects start subsiding, everything I realized during the experience is put into my longterm memory, everything that just happened seems like a dreamy haze of consciousness.
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