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The Feeling of Death
Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora)
by Ephiale
Citation:   Ephiale. "The Feeling of Death: An Experience with Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) (exp70875)". Erowid.org. Jul 23, 2008. erowid.org/exp/70875

 
DOSE:
5.0 g oral Syrian Rue (ground / crushed)
  8.0 g oral Mimosa tenuiflora (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb


I recently decided to try ayahuasca after reading some delightful things about it. I purchased my plants online and began to brew, I used a typical hot water extraction such as the tea with the mimosa however once I combined all the mixtures together I boiled them down to a sticky substance, almost like a carmelized sugar, I then placed the pan I used to boil it in the freezer and it solidified, I was able to remove the extract from the pan and I placed it in a blender and ground it up to a find powder, I then filled a bunch of gelcap with the extract and some with the ground up Syrian rue seeds.

A good way to measure the dose of this extract is simply using ratios, say you wanted to take 11g mimosa as you would get with the normal tea, you take the total amount you used, I used 55g, divide and you get 5 doses, then take the total weight of your yield and divide by 5,(I got about 31 grams/5 doses) about 6g of my extract made about a normal dose, however I came to realize that a lot of the time trip intensity vary on other aspects that I am not really sure are controllable(By me at least).

my first try was with about 3g of the harmala and 6g of the extract that I made, I had a great recreational trip, nice visuals and actually shared the experience with two others who were not under the influence at the time but who swore that they were perceiving things while in close quarters with me. I loved that trip but I decided that I wanted to go a little bit further, I had been under a fairly strict dieta and had very little to no food in my stomache when I dropped the pills , I took 5g rue and 8 grams of extract, which works out to about 18g mimosa total. The coming up was filled with crystal outlines pulsing in my eyes, secret crystal runes were covering everything, however the nausea became so intense I couldn't really enjoy my visuals, it was about this time 40 or so minutes after first popping my pills,(Harmala first, 1g doses at a time for 5 minutes, out through the 7 or 8 mimosa pills I took) I struggled for another 10 to 20 minutes before losing it, and when I mean losing it, I mean already gone.

Dry heaving was the worst, I couldn't shed my nausea even after violently expelling everything in my system, I was forced to collapse outside near the unlucky garbage can I had chosen for expulsion. Kneeling by the side I knew I was in for a rough one but I had no Idea the extent. Deciding the nausea was just a feeling I layed back on the garage floor, it was about midday and the sun was beating down upon me and it was pleasant while it lasted. Suddenly a great chill came over me and my body was taken from me. I don't mean I couldn't do anything, I could, but I was forced into feeling the insane first rise of the dmt rush and next to that all else I could do seemed to me unimportant or unworthy of my energy.

Chills ran through me like I never existed and when the strongest kick had come I was saying to myself... This is a bad trip! over and over again, I was forced to pull a blanket off a couch close by and for the next 3 to 4 hours I didn't move an inch, save once to jump into the couch in between my cyclic convulsions when I had muscle controll. When I say hell, it may not be the best word to describe this state that I was in at this point in time. I was stuck in the feeling of death (being that I thought i was dying and at one point noted the feeling that I had died, while also simlultaneously being reborn, it was very interesting and was one of the main things I retained afterward.

I looked at my hand, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw something crawling, or what looked like it was crawling under my skin but to my own surprise when I was able to grasp looking at my entire body again I saw that I was in fact pulsing to the frequency of my trip. the peak of my trip came while I was lying on the floor there, my friend who also took some dmt, had his dogs over and they were patrolling around me making the most terribly distressing whining noise, as if they were extremely worried about me. when the largest rush came to me I honestly thought, okay this is it, I'm going to die, the funny thing is that I was all to willing to go, the sound of air raid sirens had been sounding as if my head was warning me that I was tripping balls, during the whole of this time I couldn't decide whether I wanted my eyes open or closed because when they were open the intensity of my halucinations was overpowering and closed all I could do was concentrate on the feelings that racked my body, all this took place outside while my roommate and other friends were indoors, my room mate came out and played some music for me before I started to come out of that hell, I remember a series of memorable tunes, most specifically the Rain song, after hearing them I was able to speak once again, ableit only few words as my body was still seizing and pulsing.

I felt stiff and I just wanted to get up off that damn couch, My trip came back strong once more before I was able to get up off the couch and come back to my senses, Once I was up and moving the nausea returned(not returned, for it was constantly with me, but I became aware of it again because I had forgotten about it when I was incapacitated on the couch) but it quickly dissipated. Soon my head was clear but something was different. I was definitely still tripping hard, but differently all the same, the world felt different and indeed appeared to me differently, everything was much more spatial, and I could almost perceive things around corners or just out of sight, my focus was amazing, I picked up my guitar and was able to play with more feeling than I have ever before and my motions were quick and subtle.

I had this feeling for another couple of hours and it dissipated before I went to sleep. I awoke the next day feeling normal, and surprisingly rested and relaxed, I thought for sure I was going to be sore as my muscles were under a some amount of strain for most of the experience.

Now comes the important part, I thought about my trip a lot for the next days to come. If you were to ask me if it were a bad experience I would tell you that there is no such thing as good or bad, they just are experiences, whatever label you place on them comes from your own definite, subjective experience. If you ask me whether I had a good time or not, I would say that after I shed my fear of death, I had the greatest time I've ever had on a drug, but had i not shed that, I may have been stuck there for far longer than I actually was,however 3 hours when lady mimosa is pissed off is no vacation, I can look back and say that it was definitely an experience I needed whether I would agree to liking it or not.

The thing is, that I was actually asking for my ass to be kicked by taking more mimosa than I should have, however I am thankful for the lessons that I learned (when I say learned I meant that they were shoved down my throat by something greater than me) one being that I believe I perceived a new area of my brain to use, after the pulsing stopped I located two extra bulge feelings in my head just above the temples. Among other specific guided revelations, some of which I have forgotten as the experience had faded from my memory almost hours after it occurred.

If someone were to ask me if I would do ayauhusca again, I would tell them hell yes, I actually tripped on it a week later to try and rid myself of the fear that had been growing inside me of it. I had a great trip, I took 2g harmala and 5g mimosa and at one point was able to perceive the soul(if you will) of one of my marijuana plants, it danced up around me and dazzled my senses with its show of lights and winds. But it was a very limited trip and I did not even purge, lasted 2 or 3 hours, I'm never sure, but I felt much more guided than I did the first time. Overall I love the vine and I can't wait to acquaint myself further with it throughought my life.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 70875
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 23, 2008Views: 16,846
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Huasca Brew (268), Syrian Rue (45), Mimosa tenuiflora (74) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)

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