DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

Ok well to start I’m a terrible story teller and writer, so bear with me over the events that I am going to share with you.

Last night (06/11) I took my second dose of shrooms, the first time I had tripped it was very weak just swirls, and the room seemed to breathe, everything was fine, didn't sleep for shit but the overall experience fine.

A friend of mine grows shrooms and he gave me 4 grams 2 for me and 2 for my wife, which we took at about 10:30 in the PM on the 10th. The trip began for my wife a lot sooner than mine (actually we were reading online that you shouldn't do these on a full stomach so we threw up what we had eaten earlier). So our trip begins, everything is fine at first, slight sense of déjŕ vu, just watching movies, we tried to listen to music but nothing changed trip or controled, we just wanted our journey to begin. We were laughing and talking and just telling stories, it was taking a lot longer for mine to hit, which really didn’t get started for me till like 1 in the morning, but everything was fine. Then as I started to get deeper and deeper into my self the feeling of just doing this over and over and over again just started to overwhelm me, I couldn’t stop it. I will give a brief rundown of the things that went over and over in my brain.

We are not real, Time is not real, life is just an endless loop of reincarnation. We die only to wake up in the womb, just to do everything all over again.

I kept telling myself over and over again. To really explain where this comes from the best example Is Vanilla Sky, which is probably why I had the trip I did cause I love that freaking movie. But in essence its like I felt the answer to life is to “die” so that we can keep having our life over and over again. Every breath that I took felt like I had taken it before, and what was going to happen was I was going to wake up today and think, “I'll never do shrooms again” and that I had reached the point in my life that it was my decision to start over in the womb again or just go to sleep and continue living my current life as it is supposed to be lived. And as I sit here and type this out I realize how ridiculous that sounds but last night I just wanted the shrooms to end, which they seemed like to go on for ever.

So I don’t really know how to put into words the experience that I had but it was hell. It was like reality is real because I created it my wife is real because I created her, so just as in Vanilla Sky she is going to say or do what she is saying or doing because she is just reacting to me or saying what I want her to say. Its so freaky, I actually thought I was god, I created time, and religion in itself was just a way for me to cope with my life (something I created to be able to explain why god exists or why words exist). Really insane and then things just kept playing over and over in my head like if you say “this is going to happen” I already know what is going to happen. Eh it was pretty awful and I couldn’t control it. Finally we tried to go to bed and everything was just looping in my head it came to one point in my brain that I just told myself to pee myself for something to change. So I did which now I just was laying in my own piss (I’m such a schmuck). I wanted to cry I wanted to sleep I just wanted it to end so I got up took off my pants and underwear and finally went to sleep. Which is where I’m at now in my living room trying to make sense of what happened to me tonight. Yes it is really June 11th no your not crazy, no shrooms did not kill you or do anything to you no you are not on a timeless loop, you are who you are and you do what you do because you are! Yeah that’s confusing to me too

I still have the swimmies from last night.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 71789
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 3, 2020	Views: 565
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Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5)