Citation: Amanda. "Invisble Me: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp7370)". Erowid.org. Feb 27, 2003. erowid.org/exp/7370
Note: I had this trip in June 2000 late at night. After this I tried searching for people with similiar trips. I haven't found one yet. Maybe this will touch someone who's been there as well.
I was with my boyfriend, my sister and 3 other close friends. Early in the day we all decided we wanted to eat shrooms and would go out that evening to get some. We also had a few dry ones as well. That night I wasn't feeling all myself so decided I would only eat a couple of dry ones as I didn't want any of the full fledged effects.
After about 1 1/2 hours of feeling nothing at all I went and ate 2 more small dried ones. I went to my bedroom and talked with my sister. I wasn't sure why it wasn't effecting me. I felt a little cold and happy but that was about it. I was laughing and distinctly remembered saying 'Wouldn't it be funny if I was tripping this whole time and didn't even know it?'
So I went into the next room to hang out with my boyfriend and my sisters husband and to smoke a little weed. I was feeling fantastic listening to A Perfect Circle. All of the sudden I guess the weed hit me and I got dizzy (of course)... then I thought 'What if I'm tripping and don't even know it??' Then all hell broke loose.
I started to rock back and forth because I was trying to logically justify where I was in my mind. I started to cry because I was scared, but at the same time didn't want to ruin anyone else's time. Then I just couldn't help it anymore. I just remember 'no, no, this isn't happening.. this can't be happening, I'm not even tripping'.
Luckily, everyone was there for me and was able to calm me down on the outside although little did they know the hell I was going through in my mind. I thought that I was in some kind of alternate reality and that my whole life was a dream. I was fake, everything around me was fake and I had nothing to hold onto. I could feel myself with this invisible barrier all around me. I could see out, but inside I was screaming. I just wanted to sleep. I knew I was tripping and even though I thought it was real, I think I had just a slight grip that I might be able to sleep it off.
Of course I couldn't go to sleep for about 3 more hours. But my sister stayed and just brushed my hair and kept touching me so that I could feel I was still alive, which helped a lot.
1 year later
Needless to say this has been the most horryfying experience in my life. I don't think I will ever do a psychedelic drug again. BUT, I wouldn't change this experience for the world. I've learned a lot from it, about myself and things around me. I have a brand new outlook on life.
This has happened to me quite a few times 'sober' now and I've learned to incorporate it into my life not as a fear, but maybe a new vision that most don't get to see. To be able to look at things like I AM not there and things become so much clearer.
Sometimes it makes me a bit nervous but that's okay because I learn to cotrol MY reactions a bit more. So rather than freak out, I just lay down, close MY eyes and breathe deap. I just know that it's just me now and that it's not a horrible dream.
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