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My Mind Entering The Void
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by Quakeroats
Citation:   Quakeroats. "My Mind Entering The Void: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp77393)". Erowid.org. Feb 25, 2013. erowid.org/exp/77393

 
DOSE:
4 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (dried)

BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb


“My trip represented my senses flaring up and losing grip to identify that of which I knew of reality before it was scrapped away and tossed unwillingly like an artist who just screwed up a painting.”

I had just recently bought a bag of Psilocybe cubensis shrooms (4 grams or a little over 1/8ths oz. total proved by two different scales) from a friend not 4 weeks ago. The shrooms are definitely cubensis strain, and a very light blue adorns certain parts of the mushrooms. This to me indicates oxidation of the psilocin, I first got them fresh (day old and dried) and did not see this.

I had waited for a pristine time to do them, and what better time in my opinion than the night of New Years Eve. I am writing this as I wait for the shrooms to start kicking in. I had just a night before taken 50mg of Seroquel for my insomnia, but had refrained today because I take it as a sleep aid and was determined to trip instead. I know Seroquel can affectively stop a psychedelic trip, such as those from LSD, from occurring any longer in duration, appearing to be a sudden drop in symptoms. Quetiapine (Seroquel) and Psilocin/Psilocybin are medicines/drugs that both target the receptors of Serotonin and Dopamine. Specifically for Seroquel, the D1 and D2 dopamine receptors are antagonized, the alpha-1 and alpha-2 adrenergic receptor, and 5-HT1A and 5-HT2 serotonin receptors. Psilocin targets the Serotonin receptors and acts as a potential agonist instead. By some people’s notes, the effects seem to “cross each other out”.

Set: Slightly Nervous, have taken shrooms before but not this high of a dose. Heavy anticipation, trying to “feel” mood for any slight impairments. Ready to feel the shrooms mentally.

Setting: Night of New Years Eve/Day in my room primarily, alone. Partly in the trip I found myself downstairs with my brother.

11:15PM Started off by taking approximately 4 grams of shrooms. Taste is exactly how I remembered taking them many months ago, I can stand it just fine, just ate them one by one.

11:30-11:35PM Starting to feel an initial body high. My vision appears to be a little bit more glossy than anything, kind of like a marijuana high but slightly less intense. No visuals yet. I can feel the crawling sensation throughout my arms as I type this passage. I feel a lot more tranquil now; I was really rushed with anticipation waiting for this trip to happen in the last few minutes, but that anticipation has subsided. Definitely a slower reaction than previous trips; I had eaten pumpkin pie and pizza before eating the shrooms.

12:02AM (New Years Day) - Starting to feel the effects, although typing has been very hard this last half hour. Hearing fireworks outside.

12:30 Went downstairs and ate a Yogurt. Talked to my brother a bit and told him I had shroomed and was feeling it. He laughed and asked me how they were working. I was very euphoric and giggly. Stomach ache is felt slightly, and this is the first time it has ever happened, but diminishes not 10 minutes later. I watched my newspapers on the table as I ate start to defy gravity and the newspapers started flapping gently, like a breeze was allowed through a close window. I decided that the trip was becoming more intense and that I should reside to my room.

12:45AM Major effects are felt right now. Now I am currently typing on the computer for this shroom trip. The PC screen is a kaleidoscope of colors. It’s so beautiful. It is like an unusual anomaly, I’m actually seeing a beehive of intricate “networks” in my screen, like a series of stars of color on a blank pallet. The keyboard also feels very different, it’s harder to type and my muscle memory is more difficult to perform. I feel that I should only act as a spectator to this event that is unfolding.

I went over to my bed, and lay facing up with the lights out and started meditating. The closed eye visuals started becoming gradually more intense until I had seemed to jump into it.

1:05AM Lost consciousness

The rest of the trip I lost track of time, like I wasn’t able to get up to check the time even though my computer was on the entire time with the monitor off. The final effects of the trip ended exactly at 3:51 AM. With the trip ended I had seen no other recurrent hallucinations, after effects etc.

The start of the hallucination during the times of 1AM and 3:51AM are as follows.

Quetzalcoatl? Encounter- I started off by meditating on my bed for about a ten minute period at most. I then saw a distinct figure in my meditation, the snake god of the Aztecs and several indigenous tribes of Mexico, Quetzalcoatl. He started off way in the distance, and slowly came closer, and he was different than I had imagined. His body was a complex multitude of polygons, all in a swarming block formation, like a Rubik’s Cube, but instead it was in all directions. He had filled my closed eye vision, and there were colors everywhere. He then lifted me up and showed me his face. He looked like a huge dragon, and peered into my face. He had a face that I would estimate to be like the size of a small single story house. He then gripped me and lifted me up, but ever so gently.

I remember embracing him and finally feeling that I had a place of belonging in my life. Tears streamed down my face as I hugged his back to hang on. I was having so much fun and euphoria when he lifted me into the sky, away from my house and into the universe for discussion of an extraterrestrial nature.

Except that he didn’t somehow like my presence. Because I think at that moment I angered him greatly by me laughing at this great spectacle. He constricted my body and I felt my vitals give out. My breathing slowly stopped and I felt my heart slow to a stop. It was then that I fell back on to my bed, and died. I felt into my eyes and felt no pain. I was hoping that [in real life] I wasn’t ripping my eyes out.

I died and disintegrated into pieces, and had realized that I had somewhere along the line grown 6 extra arms, because I could use them to feel my broken body. My hearing became really high pitched, like the hearing after a rock concert, it was constantly ringing. I “thought” (more like it was plausible that I could barely hear them) I could hear my parents say “what is wrong with you son?”, and I heard them say that they were going to be there for me when I died. I was hoping that [in real life] they hadn’t appeared in my room because I was incapacitated and couldn’t respond. The entire time I knew the shrooms were promoting this paranoia, so I felt agitated. I reassured myself that my parents had not gone into my room while I was tripping, and that I was not mortally wounded. This was the hardest part of the trip where it had gone “uneasy” but not frightful.

Satan Encounter- My fan in my room instantly spawned a flaming Pentagram when I lie there dead. Satan appeared then from the pentagram, but was merely a face, and went right up to me and laughed and then went away. I was not afraid, and the entire encounter lasted a very short time. This encounter was highly symbolic to me; even today I see it as a comical thing, something that can be laughed about when thinking about. Satan, as shown to me, was like a “face” of a coin that is true for all of humans, in that his image is promoted for fear, but this image was one that was of understanding that Satan is nearly a figment to make people act morally.

Quetzalcoatl then reappeared, he morphed my room and I was left to explore what was left of my heavily “voided” room. The walls had split, the windows had turned to mirrors that were flapping on the wall, and the door was missing a door knob. I came to the conclusion that I was a spirit, and was left to haunt my very own room. My vision changed from color prisms, into a dark noir type of view. Everything was black and white. This thought of a permanent haunting was very dramatic for me to take, but I did not fret too much. I basically acknowledged that I was dead and this is where a spirit goes.

God Encounter- I thought in this state that I was truly dead in real life. I thought I had either killed myself or had jumped through a window while on shrooms and my parents and the ambulance declared me dead on the spot. I thought this might’ve happened when Quetzalcoatl picked me up and dropped me. I was a God in my own right, I would be free to gather the cosmos, but instead I hated this bit because this would mean that I would see or be seen by no one in my family or my friends the rest of my existence as a spirit. I was able to journey out of the Earth and into other planets to see other terrestrial life.

The Original Tree of Knowledge: This is where all the knowledge hit me. Knowledge, that, to this day I still have not forgotten.

Every bit of knowledge I retained; no matter how implausible to this reality. Every bit spanning from the gift to the Earth known as the Temple of the Jaguar in Mexico, to the Sphinx, everything was explained. I was told by the spiritual deity of the Earth that the planet we see around us is more or less the Garden of Eden, heaven that truly exists on Earth. I had seen the building blocks of life for all elements that make up everything in the Earth. We all exist essentially as a congregation of cells that we pick up from the world around us; we are a unique part of the Earth. The Earth told me it communicates to others through the use of shrooms to evoke a dream state that it must use to teach others. Shrooms to Humans: More or less like comparing a human’s mind to an image projector and shrooms as the transparencies. Reality that we know it is a separate transparency.

Religion: There is no Institutionalized God, who represents warfare of humans and materialistic values, who is an interpretation of others, but that of an already placed God that is before us. We are all children to Mother Earth. The Earth is here to provide a materialistic state that Humans must encounter to develop a mindset and possibly carve out an appreciation for the Earth. There is a mediator who is in control of the Earth and other planets. He controls the universe, it is safe to say that there are many “Gods” by our definition of higher beings but all are mediated by a single Deity.

Knowledge is divided into two parts, that of which is true of the planet and that of knowledge spanning from what is created by Humans. The quest for knowledge is futile to say the least because the knowledge we know is highly subject to human’s base of understanding and imagination. Religion is Man’s greatest projection to make it easier for him to cope by making others simply believe what he does. This is the order man must create in complete chaos. He must do this to convince others, deceive them, promote his agenda and values, and find a common ground to explain that of which cannot be comprehended. This is in essence, our grip of time, language, and history: it is all materialistic in nature because it is comprehended and created by a mortal. For instance, It is deemed as knowledge of Biblical references, but in comparison to knowing some crazy man’s made up story one has not gained any knowledge whatsoever by any standard. That is what is at stake, pairing the major world religions to merely facets of imagination.

This paper alone, unfortunately, represents the negative side of knowledge, what is said onto others is instantly devalued because it is trying to make sense of it using a materialistic scale of understanding by humans. Divine in this experience would not even be close to an understatement in my internal measure scale.

The other scale of knowledge is what we see and how we come to understand our place in the universe and life after death. Knowing that of wind, water, elements, topography, and Earth composition that is indistinguishable by language would be included into this category. History is irrelevant for the most part because it represents a system that one, such as a person highly tyrannical or selfish, would love to have his or her image known on this materialistic planet. The winner of the war wins the place in history.

Those that value the true sense of humanist ideals and sense should be valued, but it is not our duty to promote them because they too have millions of equivalent people in this culture that had long shared their views.

Man on Earth controls that of which we know as time, time to us quickly leaves when we lose all sense. .Time to us could be one second, but to the universe, eternity. It is distinctly plausible that we live on this Earth as merely a first stage in setting up our own perspective of what we would want in the afterlife. Every other animal being on Earth also has this choice. It is also plausible that when we die we can truly remove all sense of our reality and come to the conclusion that we could start our reality.

Life is about perspectives. From what you see, feel, touch, hear, taste. When reality is removed, one nearly enters another stage of life, one that is indefinite. Life possibly on Earth: matter cannot be created nor destroyed. I have sneaked a view into this other reality by this action, and at the very least I would say it is incredibly genuine.

End of knowledge Steeple: I woke up from this in a section of my house. Evidently I was sleep walking, and I had to use the restroom badly. I went over to the restroom and I saw that it was closed, and the light was on. I opened the door to find that there was nothing but a white contrast on the inside, completely white and no floor. I then appeared back to reality in my room and used the restroom. By this time the effects were completely worn off and I lay in bed to organize what just happened in my trip. I wrote this trip report during the trip until around 12:45 AM before stopping and only resuming the next day.

The trip was very traumatizing for me because it represented an extreme consequence of taking shrooms without a sitter, a vision telling me in the trip that I could have died in reality had truly hit home with legitimacy; I could no longer see reality.

I did not, I repeat, did NOT have a bad trip. It was only the intensity of the trip that made me uncomfortable with losing a feel of reality. I have since this day completely changed my outlook on living life when you know it can be taken away in an instant, at any time. Thanks for the dedication in following my trip report, reader.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 77393
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 25, 2013Views: 12,036
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

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