Citation: tittysnacks74. "Joyous Regression: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp77562)". Erowid.org. Nov 16, 2019. erowid.org/exp/77562
||(ground / crushed)
The trip I am currently reporting only recently ended, and I yet remain a tad fried from the potency of the tryptamines, so please forgive my probably failures of expression.
Some background information about myself: I am 17 years old with no current mental health issues and am in good physical health. About a year ago I was on the verge of losing a battle with depression and suicide but managed to excavate myself from those foul depths in due course. I now consider myself to be in fine enough condition to experiment with psychedelics.
I obtained the mushrooms about a week in advance, for 20 dollars and eighth, and spent the week deciding how they would be administered safely. I finally made plans with my friend, lets call him E, to ride my bike out to his pad at dawn and dose them just as the sun rose. I spent the previous night dicing up my dried shrooms and grinding them into easily digestible powder, as the smell of them indicated that I would not enjoy chewing them raw.
E lives just outside the city limits, about an hour's bike ride away from my apartment. He occupies a small retrofitted trailer on his wheelchair-bound grandmother's property, and tends to a farm he keeps there. The soil is fertile and the greenery is gorgeous, so it seemed an optimal place to partake of the psychedelics heralded for their ability to incite communion with nature
it seemed an optimal place to partake of the psychedelics heralded for their ability to incite communion with nature
. Even the interior of his undisturbed trailer was of psychedelic measure, as the walls were decorated with impromptu artwork our group of friends has made while we were stoned.
That being said, setting was optimal. I also ensured that my mindset be open and welcoming to whatever experience I may encounter by meditating under the light of the rising sun before my does, which alone was spiritually uplifting enough to justify the early ride out here. As I meditated, I held the ground shrooms in my lap and to my heart in order to link us spiritually before I ate them. I know many of my fellow psychonauts don't hold as strong of an affinity towards the occult and mystical as I do, but I sincerely believe that this personal blessing prepared both my mind and the product for what was to come.
I returned to E's trailer after finished my kriyas out in his pasture and gulped down the nascently sanctified powder with orange juice I had brought from home. The next few minutes of waiting in psychosomatic limbo were tense and somewhat uncomfortable. I considered that my dicing and grinding of perfectly normal psilocybin mushrooms may have compromised the potency, and my trip may not progress further than the weak tingling sensation behind my ears I currently felt. This notion was soon dismissed as folly.
I laid back in E's bed, pondering what I should be feeling as I came up, and the infamous tryptamine buzz made itself apparent. A shivering, tickling feeling gradually enveloped my body, and I felt like I was being drawn upwards, as if on the first hill of a roller coaster. I was definitely feeling the mushrooms, and it wasn't entirely comfortable.
As soon as I remarked upon my physical discomfort, my headspace began to alter itself, as the trailer walls commenced to breathe and artwork to slither ever so slightly, just subtly enough for me to have to focus on the visuals in order to see their movements. I decided then it was time to venture out of the cozy trailer and into the glory of nature.
As soon as I emerged through the trailer door, I was awestruck. The mushrooms had really kicked into full swing, and it was like stepping through the portal into a brave new wonderland of untold treasure and infinite possibility. Do you remember the scene from Hook when Robin Williams awakes from a stupor to find himself inexplicably in Neverland? I imagine he felt the same way I did when I embarked onto brand new terrain, except I was less fearful and had bigger pupils.
I had trouble walking and maintaining a civilized posture, but that didn't stop me from gleefully frolicking about the farm in a shroom induced stupor. Picked fruit and played with goats, both of which took on congenial human personalities which I instantly adored. The natural panorama of flowers and marshland was breathing and thriving with life, more figuratively than literally but the breathing visuals were still in effect.
It was then that I feel I regressed into a childlike state of consciousness which i inhabited blissfully before I used words. My thoughts were no longer translated into the contemporary human speech which I am using to write this report. Rather, my being was pure. I was unburdened by the vain contrivances of adult society. I was a toddler, euphoric and free in a magical wonderland filled with goats and grass and mud.
Occasionally I would lapse in my childlike essence and become reminded of the more mature, spiritual connotation of the experience i was taking. Brief, upanishadic glimpses of context sporadically colored my childish revelry. I would regain memory of who I was, and that i was taking a well earned vacation from my usual perception, and then a profound spiritual oneness would wash over me and dissolve once more into childish laughter.
I would occasionally go back into E's trailer for respite from the chilly morning air, and in his heated zone of comfort I would figuratively and literally melt into a giggling puddle of hysterical human refuse. I had lost my human form and was now a liquid, but could regain my shape when I so desired.
Bear in mind that throughout this experience, i was well aware that I was tripping, that I occupied a human body and was not in any way presentable to sober people. However, seeing as there were no judgmental naysayers around, I submitted the mushroom whims and melted and danced without stigma.
My peak lasted for about an hour and a half before I started to come down, rather reluctantly considering the great time I was having. During this period I relaxed under a tree and meditated with goats and rabbits milling about around me. The inner serenity and peaceful, ecstatic oneness I seek during meditation was readily available almost as soon as I shut my eyes. I was unbothered by CEV's, and able to calmly reflect on the teachings of my past experience. This was truly a loving, friendly substance, and I believe the aforementioned meditational rite to be a contributor to the psychoactive love.
I believe the aforementioned meditational rite to be a contributor to the psychoactive love.
Basically, it reminded me of the natural security of the soul, that everything was alright and would suit itself out of its own accord. I resolved to stop excessive worry and just enjoy the present moment as much as possible. For tomorrow, yesterday, fantasy, and reality are just categories we place the same essential experiences into.
We as humans oft confuse the symbols for experience for the experience itself, becoming too tightly wrapped up in conventions like language and culture to enjoy raw, unadulterated experience at its finest. Psilocybin helped me release my adherence to symbolic living and simply live. It was truly a beautiful experience.
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