DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

230 lb

This happened to be my third time doing mushrooms. But it also happened to be the first substance I had taken since spending a year sober after being admitted to a rehab. A friend (who I wasn't too comfortable with) and I went to a concert that night and planned on tripping when we got home for the rest of the night. I felt as though I had a good mind set and I was ready for it.

The previous times I had done shrooms were in an open social environment with a few friends and the trips went fine except for being a little overwhelmed at the peaks. Those trips I ate 2-3 grams dried. We ate them right after we got to his house. I downed 2 grams at once while he ate 1 gram. He ate half at first and then the other half when he started tripping. For some reason some of them seemed to have a bluish color at the top of the stem. As soon as we ate them we sat down in the dark and started watching King Of The Hill. I started feeling the trip coming on 20 minutes after I ate them. Kind of a warm sensation and it felt great. So then we went back to his room where we turned on some music and just sat while it all kicked in.

The first thing I noticed though was that it was getting a little harder to breathe regularly. So I thought to myself 'Shit this is going to trip me out'. So I just kept convincing myself that everything was fine and then realized that if I'm already doing this at the beginning of the trip there is no telling how it's going to be at the peak.

About one hour later is when the walls starting getting totally wavy and I was tripping pretty hard. It wasn't like the other times. Unexpected. Uncomfortable setting. So I kept trying to relax and completing sentences was getting pretty hard at this point. I kept talking on my messenger on the computer trying to stay grounded but after a while I couldn't really see what was on the screen.

That's when the old children's movie Ferngully was put into the vcr. I will never in my life be able to look at that movie the same way again. That's when everything got worse. My body felt overheated. Way overheated and I was convinced my brain was melting pretty much. I just layed there for the remainder of the trip and just thought to myself. It was by far the most horrible moment of my life. Thinking itself was hard. I wasn't even really capable of completing sentences in my own head anymore so I was really freaked out.

Around 3:00 am I wanted to go to the hospital cause it seemed like they would have a solution but I knew they wouldn't. I told myself I would rather die then go back to rehab. So I layed there and tried to go to sleep which was by far impossible. I kept looking over at the movie 'Ferngully'. The main thing I have to say is fuck you Robin Williams. He was one of the main voices in the movie and I couldn't understand anything that was being said. It was all just this confused jumble of sounds and Robin WIlliams' voice effects really didn't help. I kept trying to ask what was happening in the movie but my own questions didn't even make sense to me and I didn't really care anyway. Just trying to distract myself. Conversing wasn't really an option at this point The visuals were just as bad. All morphed and 3 dimensional. I contemplated asking him to knock me out a few times in order to end the nightmare.

For some reason I felt like the whole entire world had lead up to this very moment in my life. One great conspiracy for my life lesson written by some divine deity. I kept hearing familiar voices in my head. 'He died from shrooms? yeah I heard about that. I didn't really know him though'. and this was doomed to be my legacy. Never really known or cared for. I caught lost in my blanket for a few minutes at one point and started freaking out about the fact that there was no end to this blanket and couldn't find an edge.

So I just continued to lie while in the confused mass of words streaming through my brain suffocating from the heat when all of a sudden something just broke away. I felt cool. I wasn't hot anymore. I had just instantly shot through the worst moment in my life to the greatest relief I had ever known. I pretty much jumped up in joy at the fact that the confusion had faded. It was indescribable. I kept trying to explain to my friend what had just happened but I just couldn't do it. I tried to describe a trip as the food pyramid as the bottom being the sobriety. I slowly climbed to the peak where I was lost for quite sometime then just rocketed back to the bottom. It was by far the happiest I had ever been in my life and probably will be for the rest of it. I had never known a relief so great. I just felt like going outside and screaming to the world as to how great I felt. I was never more alive.

But it was 5:00 am. I wrote this report because I just began thinking about trying this experience again. But I just ran into the weird breathing again just thinking about doing it. While I was tripping I convinced myself never again would I go through that torture. But I feel like it may just be something that I need to do. I feel like I may have suffered from some sort of ego death. Up to several weeks after the experience I just kept analyzing myself and what happened. I don't feel the same anymore. Mostly emotionless and just really questioning whether what we all perceive to be reality even exists. I don't know if I will ever be able to trip again because of my mindset now.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 77993
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 14, 2022	Views: 645
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