Citation: NaggyJ. "Love, Light, and Mushrooms: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp79148)". Erowid.org. Oct 17, 2012. erowid.org/exp/79148
I have always found a certain amount of mysterious beauty in the world of hallucinogenic plants. Although this was my first experience with mushrooms, my mind and body have always been drawn to their delightful qualities. Prior to this occurrence, my drug use has been limited to frequent experimentation with ganja. Over the past few months I have become increasingly curious about more intense hallucinogens and their ability to help the human mind explore new territories. After extensive research, I came to the conclusion that my introduction into this new world would be best facilitated by psilocybin. To prepare myself, I sought out a friend (we shall call him R) who has experimented with a widespread assortment of hallucinogens. Once we acquired the plants, we planned out the time and place of ingestion.
Let us skip forward one week--I have not eaten for a day and half. It is approximately 8:00PM and R and I are in my apartment smoking ganja. Because we were planning on seeing a concert at 11:30PM we decided that this was the most fitting time to consume the mushrooms. R chose to consume them orally and wash them down with orange juice. I had only been drinking water so I decided that I would not deviate from my routine. After chewing each bite until the mushrooms dissolved to water into my mouth, I would swallow. After about 10 minutes of eating, I was finished.
As I finished preparing the room for the ensuing trip, R and I took our last two pulls of ganja. I ate a small amount of food and took two digestive enzymes to accompany the mushrooms in my stomach. Once the room was ready, R and I sat on the couch in silence as we waited for our respective experiences. I closed my eyes and began to meditate as I felt subtle, unfamiliar sensations throughout my body. R stood up and walked over to the computer, briefly bringing me back to full consciousness. As I opened my eyes, I looked at the clock—it was 8:35.
I stood up to stretch I felt more subtle sensations throughout my body. I looked at the pictures on the wall and had a difficult time focusing on their respective qualities. To say they were completely out of focus would be an unfair description; however, I know no other way to describe how they appeared to me. I walked into the bathroom to look at myself; when I looked in the mirror I was greeted (as I expected) by my extremely dilated pupils. The mirror seemed to glow as I stared into my eyes. I walked back into the room and laid myself on the couch.
R looked over to me and asked me if I had felt any effects yet. When he said this to me I did not answer. Instead, I began to laugh uncontrollably. In turn, he began to laugh as well. We did this for about a minute until the dynamics of my trip completely changed. During my laughing fit I put my hand up to my eyes to wipe them. Instead of seeking darkness as I closed my eyes, I was greeted by an otherworldly presence. A layer of deep blue tore away in front of my eyes and I walked into what seemed to be another reality.
I looked into the huge eyes of unreal creatures huddled around one another. I stared in disbelief as the creatures’ stares ripped through my presence. I quickly pulled my hand away in surprise. As I looked up the entire room was filled with bits of shimmering light. Everything had a presence of undying radiance and intensity. While I desperately wanted to reemerge myself in this alternate reality, I could not stop staring at the shimmering colors all over the room. R and I sat back down on the couch and looked at various pieces of art on the wall. Each one glistened and melted away in front of my eyes until all I could see was the outline of the pictures surrounded by an intense display of color flickering light. It was beautiful.
R and I began to converse about various topics as we reveled in our delightful hallucinations. We then decided to turn on some music. My trip began to follow the flow of the music as each bass line produced a new effect of color and beauty. As the first song came to a close I began to laugh once again. However, at the end of my laughing fit I was overcome by a sense of intensity and I was immediately pulled myself out of my trip. The walls went back to normal and all colors disappeared. I let out a deep breath and it call came flooding back. Soon after, I began to lose control of my body. I felt weak so I decided to sit. While I sat on the couch, R (unbeknownst to me) called a mutual friend of ours and handed me the phone. While I don’t remember the full conversation, I recall finding it very difficult to speak. I handed back the phone to my friend.
From here, I decided to take a journey into my hands once again. I lay my head down on the couch and put my hands up to my face. Reality tore away once again as I was put back in this dimension of otherworldly beings. However, instead of being afraid of what I saw, I engulfed and appreciated the beauty and essence of everything I came into contact with. Love surrounded my consciousness as I journeyed through this other world. I enjoyed this aspect of the trip very much. I was presented with oddly shaped creatures and various objects of which I had never seen before.
This part of my trip became scattered as I began to feel a sense of nausea. I got up and walked into the bathroom. Because I had eaten so little, I knew I would not throw up. However, while coughing over the toilet, I would drift in and out of full consciousness. Every time I would cough it seems as if this extra dimension was ripped from my grasp. I looked over at the clock and it was only 9:05PM. My body felt week. I still felt nauseous.
When I sat down on the couch R recommended that we go outside for a walk and some fresh air. While I wasn’t opposed to the idea, I remained unsure if I was ready to experience the magnitude of stimuli that awaited me on the city streets. We walked out of my apartment and trekked down the hall. The intense colors bounced off the walls in every direction. I pressed the elevator button and it illuminated with an intense white light. My friend and I began to laugh and joke while we waited for the elevator. The doors to the elevator opened and it was empty—I let out a sigh of relief. While the elevator descended, I watched the red numbers pulsate as they counted down. All of a sudden, the elevator stopped at the 7th floor. R looked at me and we both shifted uncomfortably. Two people walked in and I anxiously pulled out my phone to divert my attention.
I quickly realized that it was impossible to concentrate on the words on the screen because of the intense, shifting light that my phone emitted. The light moved from side to side as I attempted to text send a text message. After a failed attempt I put the phone back in my pocket. The man who just walked into the elevator commented on my phone and how much he likes it. Before I can thank him, R turns to the wall and tries to control his laughter. When I hear this, I too begin to laugh uncontrollably. The two people in the elevator look at us with odd expressions. One mutters that we “must be on some of that good shit.” After what seemed like an eternity, the doors open and we step into the lobby.
With extreme determination, I walked directly through the lobby and into the open air. My friend and I walked around the corner and I was overcome with a sense of weakness. After regaining my composure I stood up and begin to walk around the city. While I needed R’s shoulder to keep my balance, my physical body felt surprisingly good. The city lights were radiant and bright. Each building produced a wave of intense and gratifying color as I drank in my surroundings. R and I expressed our gratitude for our relationship as a sense of companionship seeped into my consciousness. All of a sudden, I was once again stopped in my tracks by a sense of intense nausea. I tell R that I must go back to the apartment. He agrees and we head back. After an uneventful elevator ride, I run into the bathroom. After gagging and spitting into the toilet, I feel extremely tired. I go to the couch and look at the time. It is 9:50.
I don’t remember anything until I awoke (if I was actually asleep). After becoming fully conscious, I felt completely out of place. I could not understand the time on the clock—in fact, I could not understand time at all. What day of the week was it? How does a day fit into a week? A week into a month? A month into a year? A year into a century? A century into history? Everything seemed out of place. I couldn’t remember why I was sitting on the couch or who I was. Nothing made sense. To fully describe this part of my trip would be difficult—many of the feelings I felt are mine and mine alone.
My friend sat across from me and started asking me questions but I couldn’t give him a cohesive answer. Despite his protest, I put my head back down on the couch. I closed my eyes and tried to put my life together. Where am I? I’m in my apartment. Where is my family? At home. Why am I here? I continued to answer these questions and piece together my life. I opened my eyes and R was sitting across from me. R told me that I that put a towel over my head and sat on the couch for over an hour without moving. I looked at the clock. It was 11:20. While I was no longer visually tripping, I felt the calmest and most content I ever have. All the inconsequential things in my life no longer seemed to matter. I had a smile on my face and I loved everyone and everything around me.
The pieces to my life puzzle were coming back together—however, the pieces did not rearrange themselves exactly as they were the first time. The essence of everything I thought I knew dissipated. My reality changed as love overpowered all feelings. I took my wallet out of my pocket and began to question the importance of money in my life. I rubbed it along my face and laughed at the absurdity of capitalism and the dollar. The inconsequential nature of all material objects became the center of my attention. I stood up and began to walk around my apartment. I picked up my phone and immediately felt nauseas. I put it down—the nausea disappeared. As I did this with a number of other objects I felt the same sensation of disgust and nausea as I picked them up. This feeling would immediately dissolve as I put them back down. This continued for some time until R attempted to get me to leave so we could go to the concert. We packed another bowl into the volcano and smoked.
As all this occurred, I still felt a sense of love and joy for everyone around me. These feelings were so intensely genuine that I can safely say I have never had such an experience. I had a smile on my face which could not be removed. As R and I walked to our destination, I continued to smile and give off my positive energy to anyone I came into contact to. The walk there (which takes 25 minutes) seemed to go by in an instant. After standing on line for some time, we entered the concert at approximately 12:30AM. While colors were much brighter than normal, I was not ‘tripping’ per se. We stayed in the concert until about 2:00AM because R felt extremely uncomfortable and claustrophobic (a feeling he conveyed to me throughout our time in the venue).
After leaving the venue the sense of love and joy still radiated throughout me. While the initial intensity of these feelings has dissipated, I have been deeply affected by many of the realizations I have had while on mushrooms. My stomach has felt fine after the last phase of nausea wore off around 11:30PM. I had a small headache the day after but I’m not sure that can be attributed to the mushrooms. As a final note, I will be forever grateful for this beautiful gift I was presented with. I plan to continue my Journey into various hallucinogenic plants and I can only hope to have similar experiences in the future.
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