Citation: Little C. "Paranoia and Mood Swings: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp79662)". Erowid.org. Jun 23, 2021. erowid.org/exp/79662
This was the strangest trip I've ever been on. I've taken quite a few drugs: weed, mushrooms, ecstasy, LSD, cocaine, xanax, adderall, opium...so I've had quite a few experiences and especially with psychadelics but this was very different.
My boyfriend acquired a lot of mushrooms, two different kinds. One day we tried a kind then about 5 days later tried the other ones. We each ate 1/2 eighth around 7:30 or 8 then took a 40 minute nap so that when we woke up we'd be tripping. We weren't tripping quite yet so we drove his motorcycle over to my house and on the way I could feel it coming on.
We sat on the couch and I wasn't tripping yet, but I began to feel agitated and wanted him to get off me and stop trying to cuddle with me. I didn't say this to him because I felt bad about it and couldn't understand why I was feeling that way. We next went to lay down in my bed, but the agitation kept growing along with a lot of nausea. As we laid there I stared up at the ceiling unspeaking and realized I must be tripping a little although it really didn't feel like tripping. There was a dark patch on my ceiling that slowly started to elongate and almost drip down. Then parts of my ceiling sort of swirled and made vague pictures of people dancing, kissing, killing.
As I watched this I began to feel worse and worse. Not just annoyed and sick, but also beginning to feel incredibly depressed. I was staring of into space when my boyfriend asked me if I was ok. I lied and said yes. Since all I was doing was staring and not talking or moving he asked me again a couple minutes later. I've never experienced a bad trip before, but I was beginning to think I was having one. So now I told him, 'I don't know I feel really weird.' And he got all excited not understanding I meant bad weird. So I said 'No I don't feel confused, or giggly, or like I'm tripping at all I just feel bad.'
I said 'No I don't feel confused, or giggly, or like I'm tripping at all I just feel bad.'
So he put on some music and I just felt worse, beginning to feel helpless. I told him maybe the fact that I hate my house and my roommates is giving me bad vibes so we decided to walk to his house.
On the walk over I started to feel a little better. Kind of like normal again. I reasoned with myself that I probably was just feeling annoyed because I wasn't tripping due to tolerance. When we got to his house everyone was gone so it was just us. We sat on his couch and wished we could smoke some weed. I desperately wanted that. I thought if I wasn't going to trip out I want to get high. Unfortunately we didn't have any so we had to wait for one of his friends to get back in town. I stared down at the couch and it seemed to go on forever. I kind of liked that feeling, I was very relaxed at this point. However, when I looked at him his face was distraught. So I asked him what was wrong. He said he didn't know. I asked him again. He started saying he felt really depressed about his life. I saw tears come into his eyes as he said he didn't have a job, and didn't know what to do with his life. He said he was a bad person. I was scared at this point because I'd never EVER seen him this emotionally upset let alone cry. I tried to console him by talking him through it and holding him and kissing him, but it wasn't working. Soon his friend called so we decided maybe all we needed was weed.
We took our campus shuttle service to his friend's house and when we got out my boyfriend said he was feeling a lot better. At this point I was feeling a little noodly like a normal mushroom trip, but still not tripping too hard. It had been 4 hours now since we had eaten the mushrooms. We went inside and my boyfriend's friend and girlfriend were sitting on the couch looking exhausted after a day at being at a waterpark. His friend pulled out a pretty tiny nug of weed and said that's all I've got. My boyfriend thanked him and tried to roll it into a joint which turned out laughable because it was so small.
Now I was feeling giggle and a bit confused nothing to substantial. I figured I was having a slight trip. Another friend came over to sell my boyfriend and his friend some more weed. That guy left and now it was time to get down to business: smoke a lot! After we smoked the first huge bowl I started thinking a lot and became incredibly paranoid that I was accidentally saying all my thoughts. So instinctively I pursed my lips together very hard. All of a sudden I felt like my mouth disappeared! I didn't say anything yet but touched my face then it seemed like all my facial features disappeared leaving just a fleshy mass. Then I touched my legs and couldn't really feel them, or could I? Now I couldn't tell if I was touching myself or someone else. Or if someone else was touching me. This was terrifying!! This was by far the worst feeling I'd ever felt. I started to really freak out and now I said it out loud. I tried to explain to them what was happening and that I was not okay, but I failed miserably. This whole time my boyfriend hadn't told his friend that we were tripping, he seemed like he was trying to conceal this so it added to my anxiety. I continued for a bit to try to explain what I was feeling, but accidentally made it sound sexual apparently. My boyfriend kept saying to them things like 'she's really high I guess' or 'acid flashback' and this began to piss me off because I obviously knew it was the mushrooms and all I wanted to do was leave.
Finally I got him out of there and once we got out the door we had 5 flights of stairs (in the dark) in an apartment building to go down. He was now realizing I was freaking out. I was telling him fairly accurately what I was upset about, but now I was really paranoid that the people in the apartments could hear me and that they would call the cops. When we got down to the bottom he stopped me and I told him I was fine. I wasn't so sure so I frantically texted one of my girlfriend that I was freaking out on mushrooms. This seemed to bring me back to reality a bit and I accepted this weird body feeling I was having.
After I accepted this I felt great, absolutely awesome. Besides the fact that I kept needing reassurance from my boyfriend that I was going to go insane from tripping 2 times in a week. All I could do was stare around in awe and wonder and giggle with my boyfriend. We stopped for a minute to try to pick some flowers then realized we were just destroying them. We were now crossing 2 streets which were divided by a median of trees and light posts. Lining the streets were very nice, fancy houses and this was one of the most beautiful sights I'd ever seen. It was other worldly. However, on the way to my house I'd seen about 7 or 8 cop cars patrolling the streets and now I was paranoid that they had read my text to my girlfriend and would arrest my boyfriend for having all those boomers.
When we reached my house we ran around talking about how nice and clean it now was. Then I sat on his lap. The shadow of my face was in triples and it covered one half of his face, this looked so cool. We smoked more weed had awesome discussions and basically had an amazing trip until we finally stopped tripping and went to bed.
This was the strangest trip I've ever had. I felt things I'd never felt before. The bad parts were terrible and devastating, but the good parts were amazing joy. I believe that a good portion of the bad effects only happened because I was very tired after a long weekend, hadn't showered in a while, it was night time, and I wasn't sure to begin with if I should trip 2 times in a week. However, I'd say this trip was interesting and If I could go back in time and change it I wouldn't.
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