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Into the Depths of Insanity
Mushrooms - P. azurescens
by G.B.R
Citation:   G.B.R. "Into the Depths of Insanity: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. azurescens (exp82148)". Erowid.org. Jul 6, 2018. erowid.org/exp/82148

 
DOSE:
3.5 g oral Mushrooms - P. azurescens (dried)

BODY WEIGHT: 210 lb


I will refer to my friend as L and his girlfriend as T
Last night my friend and I went and picked up 2 eighths of azurescens. One for each of us. Our guy tossed in an extra bag for free. We drive home to L's house we didn't have a scale but the bags looked fat so we were happy, even more so with the extra bag from our dealers personal stash.

Around 7pm L made a peanut butter and mushroom sandwich putting the majority of his mushrooms on the sandwich. He took about 3 bites. I took nothing yet.

Later into the night around 8:30 L said he was tripping pretty hard after those couple of bites and was worried about driving to go pick up his gf T from work. At 8:45 we left to go pick up T as we arrived at her job at around 9 L said he was tripping very hard but insisted that he was ok to drive home with the 2 of us. On the drive home L saying driving home was one of the most horrific experiences he's ever been in and will never drive while grilling again.

Upon arrival to L's house at 9:15 pm I started to prepare my sandwich. By 9:30 I was chewing it down with a glass of water, around this time L ate the last 3 quarters of his sandwich. Me being very high, hungry and somewhat stupid I ate the entire sandwich at one time.

It was not until after I had finished it did I realize the amount of mushrooms that I just consumed. T was not going to eat any mushrooms but instead trip sit us two because of the amount we ate. She had a few beers and turned on The nightmare before Christmas.

All was good and fun. I started to get a giggly body high around 9:45. The movie was funny and a good watch for the time being. I liked all the characters and sounds of the movie. Around 10:30 I started tripping very hard. About an hour into the movie the sounds and music of it sounded overbearing and intimidating. I then knew this trip was going to be something extreme. I took a drink of water, smiled and strapped in for the ride. By this time the body high that I had was amazing I felt like I was melting into the chair I was sitting in. I closed my eyes and stood up. When I re-opened them I looked at my friends wall and it appeared to be bubbling and shaking side to side violently. It was fun to watch.

At 10:45 I was really tripping hard. Everything appeared to be moving. Everything was rapidly changing color, size and felt like it was breathing. The house seemed alive.

11:00 T made a comment to L that he smelt bad from work and had not taken a shower yet. Me being in a trip coma unable to decipher or understand the words that were being said on the movie and from my friends. I began to panic thinking I smelt bad and that I was dirty. I felt disgusting and vile. I couldn't shake the feeling. It was destroying my time. I kept sniffing myself over and over trying to see if I smelt bad but smelt nothing (nothing bad anyway). I thought my nose had broke because I was sure I was dirty. I could feel it under my skin.

11:20ish I got up off the chair and told L I was going to go take a shower, T said 'are you sure thats a good idea right now?' In a friendly and caring voice. I stood there for a few minutes and said yes I feel fine. I grabbed a towel and went in the shower.

Once in the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. I felt gross and dirty so I got naked and tried to figure out how to turn on the shower.

As I was getting in I stopped and smelt my clothes looking for any hint of a bad odor. I smelt nothing again. I locked the bathroom door to keep myself from going out into the living room while naked.

I got into the shower turned on the water and the feel of it felt disgusting
I got into the shower turned on the water and the feel of it felt disgusting
I thought some kind of sludge was running all over my body. I Washed myself violently trying to get rid of the feeling. I picked up a bottle of body wash and the smell of it was a clean smell that made me feel better. I used all of my friends body wash (A whole bottle, I paid him back today) and it made me feel clean again, refreshed at last. I then sat in the water and felt relief and happiness again. I took another 20 minutes to put my clothes back on. I was having insane visuals and it looked like my shirt and my pants were talking to me. I had two shirts in the bathroom and one of them I condemned. I had a long conversation with the shirt I liked about how I didn't like the other shirt.

I finally got my pants, socks and shirt on and left the bathroom. The sound of laughter was nice. I quickly walked into my friends room and hid my evil shirt under his bed.

12:00 AM

By this time the movie was over and my friends were watching and laughing at Dane cook comedy. I was getting very uncomfortable vibes while watching the TV. I thought all the laughing was at me. I still felt very sensitive after the shower thing.

I quietly began to withdrawal out of life and into my own mind. All sounds, sights and feels I knew to be warm and comforting felt sad and depressing. I felt the entire house and everyone in it was laughing at me and talking about me. I was peaking at this time.

I remember Dane cook telling a joke about seeing his dads penis, I thought to myself. I've never met my dad, I have no dad. My dad is dead (Died in 1990) and I was filled with overwhelming sorrow and sadness. Falling into a pit of despair. I then began to think about my brother who passed away in January 09 and how there were so many things I wanted to say to him that I never got the chance to say. It hit me so hard.

12:20

I got up and walked outside. I laid on the wet ground while it rained, in nothing but a t-shirt and pants. I laid there quietly. Thinking to myself. About myself, about my life, about everything going on in my life. I was tripping so hard at this point that trees looked like the size of the sun and other houses were breathing on me. I lapsed into a mental coma of everything sad. I touched my face and it felt like putty. Disgusting.

12:30ish.

I wanted to die, I thought I died. I was ok with dying. I lay there on the back deck in the rain and thought I died. I thought my life had ended right there on that deck. I had nothing left in me but emptiness.

I closed my eyes and accepted my death. Around 5-10 minutes later I re awoke from my social coma and walked back inside. I felt like I had been reborn.
I closed my eyes and accepted my death. Around 5-10 minutes later I re awoke from my social coma and walked back inside. I felt like I had been reborn.


12:50. I began to think about my brother again (Due to Dane cook, again) I sat in the chair feeling sad. I began to cry and I called out saying I missed my brother over and over. My friends were very concerned for me and instantly turned off the TV and began to talk to me. They had no idea how hard I was tripping and that it was a disaster.

The warmth of my friends voice began to calm me. We talked about happy things and good things. I started to come out of my social coma.

I asked them to turn the tv back on. I felt at peace and finally understood that my brother was at peace also and that I just dumped all of my emotions out and was now feeling refreshed and drained at the same time.

My friend also commented on that his carpet looked like a giant ramen cake. This was hilarious to me. We talked about all sorts of things and watched kill bill on TV.

For the rest of the night I was still tripping hard but starting to come down. I felt happy and at peace with myself. I was glad I felt all those feelings. I handled the sadness in my life and dealt with it in one night. I feel more happy then I've ever felt in my life today. Everything seems so happy and loving.

I owe a big thanks to T and L for sticking with me and helping me through the worst and best experience of my life. Never take your friends for granted.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 82148
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Jul 6, 2018Views: 1,351
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Mushrooms - P. azurescens (844) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Families (41), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

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