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Don't Let It Get To You
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by Zafo
Citation:   Zafo. "Don't Let It Get To You: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp82153)". Erowid.org. Jun 15, 2020. erowid.org/exp/82153

 
DOSE:
1.75 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (dried)

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


One night this spring, my roommate at the time had purchased an eighth of shrooms and stayed the night at our friends house. He ate half of them by himself and reportedly had a pretty bad experience, so the other half laid dormant in the pipe drawer for about a week. Every time I would open the drawer, I would see those bad boys all huddled up in the corner and think, 'Wow, I would really enjoy taking those. I wish he would just give them to me.' Well, one night, he did. He tossed them to me and said, 'Have a blast.'

I debated for a while whether or not I was going to take them that night and ultimately decided to do so even though no one else would be able to trip with me. I wasn't too worried about it because the first and only other time I had taken them, I had a great time and found it to be more organic and natural feeling than LSD. Also, I don't know why people think they taste so terrible. I just ate them straight without any qualms.

I took them around 10pm and hung out with everyone at my apartment until they kicked in around 11, I'd say. My roommate and boyfriend and I decided to head over to our friends' apartment about 15 minutes away and chill there for the night. The car ride over there was absolutely delightful as there are a lot of roundabouts where I live and it felt so fun to go around them really fast. (By the way, I didn't drive, so don't worry. Boyfriend drove my car.)

We arrive and I'm starting to really feel those shrooms. Everyone else is just lounging on the couch, enjoying a few brews and bowls. The weed just tasted too harsh so I didn't partake. My friend then starts showing me these lists she's made of lame and un-lame shit and I try to find entertainment in it, but all I can feel is deja vu like I'd seen these pieces of paper before. I looked up at her, and the left half of her face was drooping.

Now this really freaks me out. After a long time of sitting off to the side feeling funky, I started feeling like I had just smoked salvia, which for me is just a really uncomfortable experience
I started feeling like I had just smoked salvia, which for me is just a really uncomfortable experience
through and through. The unnecessary deja vu is what messed it all up. I try taking refuge in the bathroom and outside to try and calm myself down. While out on the porch, I decide I can't take this anymore and hop the fence and sit in my car for a while.

This is when things start getting really bad for me. I'm all cooped up in this car feeling like I can't get out or deal with anything at all. All I wanted was for it to be over already and to go home and be comfortable wrapped up in my blankets with my wonderful cats around me. I wish I could tell you how it all escalated like this, but I'm sure I was just snowballing terribly. I called my boyfriend and begged him so hard to take me home and he absolutely refused and, in my perception, told me off. I'm still alone in this car thinking my boyfriend is about to break up with me while I'm tripping and the thought devastates me. This is all about two hours into my trip, so around 1am.

My roommate comes out soon after and talks me through this tough mental time and eventually I felt a little better. He convinces me to come back into the apartment and see if I can handle it. Everyone there was really understanding and my boyfriend apologized, but I still felt uncomfortable about it. About half an hour later, roomie drives my boyfriend and me home and goes back to the gathering. I'm really grateful he did end up coming back with me, because if he hadn't been there, I would have done a LOT of stupid shit.

Right when we get there, I pull off my clothes and head to my room to wrap myself up and hang out with the felines, but the corner of the room was sinking and my cat looked like a prickly demon that moved like a snake. That really saddened me because I was looking so forward to his comforting softness. I then go to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror for a little while. My stomach started getting really upset, so I lean over the toilet and try to make myself puke out the contents of my stomach. I really didn't want the shrooms in my body anymore. It felt like all my guts were trying to push their way out of my body through my esophagus. I noticed a little tiny spot of blood in the toilet water...and then it was all downhill from there.

I started ranting about how the shrooms I took must have poisoned me badly and that I was either going to die, or I would be stuck in an eternal trip for life. I almost called my parents to tell them that I was sorry I was going to die, I took some bad drugs and it ended my life. Thankfully, Aaron (bf) talked me out of it and told me I wasn't dying. I didn't really believe him, though.
Aaron watched over me until he felt comfortable that I wasn't going to do anything brash, and then he headed over to the grocery store to get some food and essentials. This was around 3:30am, I believe. The whole time he was gone, I was cuddled up in the corner of the bed with my face in the pillow seeing all these fractals swirl around my mind, and for some reason they were really freaking me out. They were like evil projections from deep within. Before he left, Aaron had put on a season of The Simpsons in the living room for me to listen to. The familiar sounds comforted me immensely and I was able to work my way through the dark thoughts overpowering me. I listened to a full episode and a half before he came back. By then I was almost back to normal. I laid in the bed and listened to Matthew Good until the afterglow came. What a relief that was, oh my god.

All in all, I learned a lot about myself that night. I never realized how dark some places in my mind were. It was like it all got purged out. It could have been an amazing time if I had only let myself have fun. But instead I got so caught up in snowballing that it got ruined. Tripping is not for the weak minded, especially when one bottles up every bit of negativity and stores it forever. Even though it was terrible, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world.
I just can't believe that all happened on just half an eighth.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 82153
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Jun 15, 2020Views: 366
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)

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