Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: GrizzlyBear. "A Day of Bliss and Solemness: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp84743)". Erowid.org. Jul 9, 2010. erowid.org/exp/84743
It had been a while since I had last experienced mushrooms. My last experience wasn’t so pleasant only because I didn’t make preparations for my set and setting, which is a very childish mistake when it comes to dealing with mushrooms. Nonetheless I have learned my lesson for that manner. This was going to be my fifth time taking mushrooms so I took every effort beforehand to make this experience a very beautiful one.
I was going to take them with a friend named Jay. Jay is a very good friend of mine who I have met in middle school. I knew choosing the right people to trip together is very important (well, around here its hard to find kids who understand these sorts of substances) so I was satisfied with my buddy, for having good company around. This was going to be Jay’s first shroom trip, so I had high hopes for him. Our friend Scott was going to watch over us. We set up a chill spot in my backyard for the trip, this included a nice porch swing and a boom box right next to us. I have a large backyard with nice green grass, nice tall hedges running down my yard, a natural preserve in our view, and of course a crisp blue Florida sky.
Once me and Jay received the mushrooms, we split the bag in half. We were both going to take 2.5 grams of good homegrown mushrooms. They were the Mazatapec-Mexico strain, I believe. Right before we took them, we needed to pick up our friend Scott to baby-sit us. So we picked up Scott, brung him back to my house, then Jay and I started eating our mushrooms. Once we were done eating them, Scott quickly decided he wanted to get some weed before the shrooms kicked in for us.
So we all got in the car, Scott was driving, I was in the passenger seat and Jay in the back. The radio turns on as we leave my house. I feel a tingling sensation at the bottom of my stomach. I felt the shrooms sitting in my stomach starting to work. I paid all my attention to Cream which was playing on the radio. I’d say 10 minutes after the ingestion I began feeling effects immediately. It started off with giggling in the car, followed by a difference in bodily feelings and enhanced depth perception. I smiled, remembering all of these feelings that occurred in the early stages in my recent trips. “Yepp, I feel this shit now, damn!” I said. I looked back at Jay in the backseat, he let out a chuckle and a grin.
As I turned around I noticed a beautiful plant brushed up against the back window. I noticed the very luscious earthy colors that it had. The rich dark green color at the base of the stem and leaves that slowly turned into a bright vivid green at the top of the leaves. And to finish it off, it had purple blossoming flowers at the top. “Damn! That’s f**kin’ beautiful!” I said, amazed at the very clear rich colors that I was already seeing.
Shortly afterwards, we arrived at my house. Right when I stepped out of the car I felt a strange rush of bodily feelings throughout me. I knew the shrooms were kicking in fast, I smiled to my self and opened the door to let Scott and Jay in. Jay and I had a homemade ping pong table set up in the living room. I challenged Jay to a ping pong game, I felt this would be a good way to welcome the energy that was about to embrace us. It was also something I had planned out to make sure Jay would approach this experience in a fun manner. Scott went out for a cigarette out back while me and Jay were beginning our game of ping pong. We had nice music playing next to us, some CCR, Soft Machine, Grateful Dead, and some old school Nintendo music which was a brilliant idea to have around.
Anywho, as we were playing, the visuals began to kick in tremendously. We were both feeling the music and laughing hysterically all while playing ping pong like experts. During this fun-crazed madness (that happened so quickly) I started to notice the visuals. I saw a rainbow near all reflections of light. I saw transparent rays of red green yellow blue and purple alongside every light coming from any direction, weather it be from the window or the sun. It was very strange only because these transparent ‘rainbows’ would move in ways like a circle 8, or a lava lamp.
At this time I started to feel in a higher state of consciousness. I came to a quick realization that these shrooms had some effect on my pupils, being that the pupils were in the process of taking in all light and were some how dismantling the light, resulting the visions of transparent rainbows. Then I realized, no shit, that’s what a hallucination would be. Again, I smiled. “Goddamn! I’m tripping balls” I said. “Hahaaaa! Yeahh me too” Jay cried.
We were bobbing our heads to the music like madmen while playing a game of ping pong, I felt very euphoric and goofy. Shortly afterwards me and Jay decided to chill with Scott out back. “Hold up!!! Let me take this boombox!!!” I said as I was still goin’ with the music. I felt a strong need to have music everywhere I was going. Music is an exceptional external activity that I feel should be present during the experience any kind of drug, such as mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, etc.
So, Jay and I walk out to the ‘chill spot’ in the back yard. I noticed the luscious green grass, the crisp blue sky and the energy exploding in me. Jay and I sat on the porch swing that was brought out into the middle of my backyard. It gave us a feeling that we were very down to Earth with all the nearby colors and positive vibes. We sat there listening and bobbing our heads to the music. ‘Medeski Martin and Wood’ was playing on the boombox. I remember thinking to myself that mushrooms always brought me sweet emotion through music.
“Holy shit……these fuckers know whats up!!!! Listen to that organ, Scott!!!! Goddamn!!” I said. Scott smiled at me and agreed. Jay looked very pleasant and looked like he was having a great time. All these thoughts were making me very happy.
I then started to have thoughts such as “what now?” “what’s next?” “Is this my day?” but I knew it was only my mind trying to disrupt the experience that I had planned for. The goal was to do absolutely nothing but just to sit outside with good company and soak these mushrooms in. They bring me a spiritual experience, a lesson in life that should teach you many things. They give me thoughts about friends, loved ones, egos, people, civilization, and mankind. So I accepted those feelings but did not act on them externally. Externally, meaning I did not literally act on them with action such as telling Scott or Jay: “Lets get out of here man!! Lets go do something!!” I knew it would’ve been very childish of me. So I sat there and kept listening to Medeski Martin and Wood with my friends.
We were laughing like hyenas every now and then. Jay and I didn’t need words for communication. We perfectly understood each other through body language and emotions. It was very strange to me, but true. Jay began taking to Scott, telling him of how much of a good friend that Scott is. Scott was thanking him and saying the same to Jay. We all felt the bondage through our good friendship. And we all felt a strong bond to each other.
It was around that time where the 3D visuals came to life. As Scott and Jay were talking with the music was playing, I sat on the porch swing ‘meditating’ looking far into the surroundings in front of me. I noticed the grass taking form of geometrical figures, and hexagons. These figures would morph into other shapes, such as diamonds. To explain it good….imagine the grass (or the earths’ surface) as a finished puzzle board. I could see the lines between all the puzzle pieces. Those lines would morph into various geometrical shapes. It was very fucking cool, it was a common hallucination I’ve seen every time I experienced mushrooms. I become very aware of any type of architecture. I can understand the X and Y planes (the ground intersecting a wall) and the hallucinations only help me understand the idea more.
“Yo Scott, these shrooms are real good man, the visuals are kickin’ in more” I said. “Oh yeah? What do you see?” Scott replied. This is where I realize I couldn’t talk on shrooms, only because I’m in such deep thought for an amount of time. “Its like…..platforms….and….shapes……and…………sorry dude I can’t explain it now, but I will after these shrooms ware off.” I said. Scott nodded his head and agreed. Scott had never experienced mushrooms; he’s only had experience with cannabis, salvia, and some pills.
I was getting into a higher state of consciousness I felt like, I began feeling the same bodily feelings over and over. I had thoughts and feelings of stress…followed by relief… excitement… laughter….then right back to Stress. There were some points were I even felt like crying. A thought came to me. The mushroom experience occurs in a cycle. Or that, feelings come and go in waves, climax parts of the waves differentiate from the low parts of the waves. (Think of it as a graph) Both of these theories are correct in my opinion, and both correlate to each other. There were some points in the cycle where the experience was getting quite intense. When these points occurred, it gave me ‘flashbacks’ to my recent experiences where I experienced those same intense feelings. I knew that I was going to be ok and that I needed to ride those feelings out. I needed accept the intensity and wait for that point in the cycle to pass.
Suddenly, Jay began looking not so well. I had a strong vibe from him that he was going through an intense point in the cycle. I walked over to him to reassure him of some company. “It’s too much man!!” he said. I put my hand on his shoulder and plainly said “It’s the shrooms man, come over to the chill spot and ride it out.” I really wish I could’ve explained much more than that. I wanted to explain the whole theory of the cycle to him, and help him understand he was at an intense point in the cycle. I wanted to tell him to accept the intensity, welcome it all. But of course, I was in really deep thought at the time, and my communication skills weren’t functioning well. So I told him what I could “Ride it out”. He understood what I meant, which made me very relieved. He’s a smart kid.
I put the music up for him as he was laying down on the porch swing. He seemed to enjoy it very quickly. Music and having good company around are excellent external activities to have when someone has intense feelings and hallucinations. If anything, have it around at all times. This whole mere incident happening, made me reach a even higher state of consciousness. I understood Jay’s feelings, and I realized he was going through the cycle too. This mere fact confirmed my theories of the cycle. I felt a rush of mindfulness. I started to ponder more and more, beyond all boundaries.
As Jay and Scott were talking about the same things over and over, and doing many hilarious things, I began thinking about the whole situation. All life forms are energy. Energy can emit and receive energy. This energy can be emitted in a bad or positive way. I understood the theories of Angels and Demons, Heaven and Hell, God and Satan. Then I started thinking about how me and Jay were ‘communicating’ without the usage of words. I knew exactly what he was thinking of and him of me. I feel like the energy from his mindset was emitting energy to my mind (or some sort of receptor) resulting me having this ‘bondage’ with Jay. Then I thought, this mere feeling of ‘bondage’ is the feeling of awareness. I was then receiving opposing thoughts to put my theory into question. And then I thought of the mere thought process I was undergoing. It all was blowing my mind in such a natural and beautiful way.
There were some distractions to my deep thoughts, like Jay and Scott laughing and having a good time. Which wasn’t bad at all, it made me really happy that they were here with me. I felt the positive energy being emitted to each other, and we all received it. This energy was not emitted by actions; it was emitted by our mindsets. And all of us had the same mindset.
A friend named Alex came over. Alex lived down the street and was visiting us; I had told him earlier that I was going to do mushrooms this day. My last mushroom experience…wasn’t so pleasant, and it was with Alex. That horrid day started out with no preparations on set and setting, just the two of us, no baby sitter, no music, no nothing. We had planned on taking mushrooms and enjoying nature for the day. And what do you know? Right when the shrooms kick in, my friend Alex decides to take a trip to the Mall. I opposed the idiotic idea. I felt things getting tense between us, I was beginning to get out of this ego-driven world, and Andrew kept ‘reminding’ me of it with remarks such as “ooh my godd, lets go to the mall…..all you wanna do is just chill, pussy” I could’ve whooped his ass if I wanted to, but I didn’t. Thoughts like “why?” “why is one a pussy if he doesn’t want to go to the mall for the experience?” were racing through my mind. I plainly told Alex that I was in no way shape or form going to go with him to the damn mall.
About 40 minutes into the trip, we had went our different ways. I went home, and he went with another friend to the Mall. I came home, had an intense horrid trip. I laid in the bed like a patient in a hospital room who had just ate some bad mushrooms (which they probably were) waiting for the effects to ware off just a tiny bit so I can feel somewhat content. But no, I had a horrid experience in that room. I wanted to stop hearing, feeling, seeing, and thinking so damn much. And what is the only thing that can accomplish that? Death, I thought to myself.
So yeah Alex came over while me and Scott where in the kitchen. I said what’s up to him and greeted him in the house. I got an orange to eat. We all ended up outside by the chill spot. This is where a lot of giggling and laughter had took place. There isn’t much need to write here since most people know what its like to laugh hysterically. But visuals seem to enhance funny emotions and antics of people. I’ll just let you know some of the things that were involve: Looney Toons, Popeye, Alex looking like an Abercrombie & Fitch model, very funny strange dancing, and…..old school Nintendo music. We laughed real fu*kin loud. Like animals. It was pure emotion. Pure laughter.
After all of that, me and Scott decided to jam out. Jay said he was feeling horrible. He made his way to the couch and laid down. I had a feeling he’d feel better when he’d lay down while me and Scott were jammin’. So I got on drums, Scott on guitar. We started playing. It felt real good to be playing music at that moment. The flow of the jam went really good. I started thinking about how powerful this energy is from music. I wondered how amazing the feel of music can reach to people. But, realizing that this energy of music is created from the mind and effort from a human being was so bizarre and beautiful.
I looked at Scott, then myself, and realized all it takes is effort and pure emotion to make a work of art truly beautiful. It takes pure emotion for people to receive those pure emotions from things such as music or art, or anything in fact. It is energy being emitted from one mindset to another mind. Still to this day, I remember that moment being a very significant point during the whole experience. To sum up those 10 minutes, it was a beautiful jam. I went downstairs to see how Jay was doing. He kept saying it was all “too much” and kept mentioning he was feeling mixed emotions. I brought him outside, to the chill spot. Sunrise was beginning; colors were becoming ‘nicer’. I told Jay to sit outside with me, and to just sit in silence, focus on the mind. We did so.
Jay began to laugh and cry at the same time. I knew the exact feeling he was undergoing. It was a feeling of mixed emotions. The feeling of learning something that is extremely meaningful. “That’s life man…..that’s life!” said Jay sobbing. I nodded my head and agreed. The mushroom brings insights to everybody. There is no way I can really explain the beauty behind it. Words simply don’t do justice for these experiences. And honestly, I don’t think they should.
After that moment of solemness, came a feeling of wanting to let go and move on. It’s the feeling after being slapped by someone great, in order to teach you a lesson. You have now learned that lesson and want to move the fu*k on in life and accomplish many things. The rest of the night brought me many clear thoughts and revelations that I would never forget. I really have a hard time trying to explain them, so I won’t, sorry.
Jay suddenly decided to go home. I thought this was a very strange idea, concerning that I was still tripping balls. I kept asking Jay to stay with me for a couple more hours to ware off the effects and to get some bud later. He rejected the idea and said his goodbyes. I had a strong feeling that I needed to let him go, let him think about the spiritual experience he had gone through today. So we all said goodbye to each other. It had been a very long day. Jay drove himself home (which I was worried of) and I drove Scott home. [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
After that, I came back home to sit in silence and meditate. This session was incredible.
In conclusion, (I’m bad at these) I have only simple words to give out. The mushroom brings my intelligence, awareness, and insight. It lets me see the beauty in both worlds, external and internal. Having gone through these experiences has made me a better human being, showing me the path, a way of life, to live a beautiful life. It shows us to appreciate the mind and how powerful it is and can be. And I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for these beautiful experiences I’ve gone through.
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