DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I ate mushrooms while visiting a friend in the fall. My mental vocabulary comes from too much thinking, marijuana (often), previous mushroom experiences, salvia, ecstasy. I have the most experience with marijuana and mushrooms.

This was an interesting trip for me. I've always taken small doses - 2g was on the larger side. It was sunset. We walked up on a hill by some houses to watch as we ate our doses. Although it looked as though we were well away from the houses, someone came out and helpfully informed us that we were on private property. I've always hated angering people, even when I believe I haven't harmed them. This conflict in my mind between the beautiful land, which gives itself freely to all, and anger in the mind of my fellow man stuck with me. I've been hoping to let go of my control, though, so I proceeded with that in mind. We left and walked west, and followed the sun! It was a beautiful time, and though it was a very cold day, we struck out happy.

This was pretty spontaneous. I've always felt much happier planning out my trips. I like to make sure I'll be in a place where I won't hurt myself or have any reason to talk to law enforcement. (I think cops are doing important jobs. I don't think of what I do as a crime - so it would be a shame to waste resources like that. Also, bad vibes, me being scared shitless, etc. Just would rather not.) The setting we were in was rural/suburban - we walked on a busy main road, populated with houses on either side. I was looking for a field or a park to relax and be comfortable in. As we walked on, I felt familiar vibrations in my limbs, and a change in my vision - more contrast, slightly brighter, slightly blurrier.

We reached a point where I could feel I was about to peak. We could see a field beyond a row of trees. I was losing my hold on everyday distinctions, but I was pretty sure we'd be on someone's property. A car pulled into a driveway behind us, and we pushed through the trees, not wanting to be seen.

The trees were like a boundary line. Once beyond, the dry grass flew outward in beautiful geometry. I love the visual component of mushrooms. The whitish grass was gorgeous on the raw dirt, under a purple sky. We walked a bit, and I fell to my knees. My intense appreciation for my surroundings clashed continually with my ideas about angry people owning the land we were on. After letting this roil around for a few minutes, I asked my friend if we could return to his house. We walked the long way back as my body began to disassociate a bit. It wasn't hard to walk, it just felt a bit like I was a puppet. I was very sleepy, or I wasn't, but I yawned deep, deep yawns. They seemed to begin and end beyond my body's capability to yawn.

When we got back, I felt a small miracle! It was good to be back in safe territory. I was glad I hadn't had to confront anyone about trespassing. I felt very drunk - we collapsed in plastic chairs and relaxed for a while. We went in the house and spent some time in the dark, which was beautiful. I decided to take a bath. I turned on the hot water. The lights haloed in rainbows. I was coming down, but still had a ways to go. I stepped into the tub and crouched down.

That moment was when something clicked for me. I smelled my body odor, fresh from our long walk. I smelled the faint odor of my shit. I was crouched in a fetal position, lightly holding my knees. I felt newness, fear, overwhelmed by colors, smells, sounds. I was wet. I realized then that we are born into every moment. The music that makes up the vibrations of our atoms swells us into existence in every breath. I will always be confused, and afraid, and joyful, and new.

The rest of the trip was pleasant and unremarkable. I learned a lot (and relearned some things). I have been waiting for an opportunity to take a higher dose (probably on the order of 3.5g).

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 88919
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: May 7, 2019	Views: 589
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Mushrooms (39) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), General (1)