Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora)
Citation: Kaj Nospmoht. "Life the Universe and Everything: An Experience with Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) (exp88969)". Erowid.org. May 3, 2014. erowid.org/exp/88969
My Experience with Mimosahuasca is hard to explain, its personal and public,religious and logical, full of pain and pleasure, but I will try in these following notes to, with my limited vocabulary to describe the awe-inspiring experience of this powerful substance.
I originally heard of ayahuasca through Erowid, i read every trip report and memorized dozens of recipes, but the one i ended up using was:
5-10 grams of Mimosa Hostilis root bark
2 grams of Syrian Rue seed matter
2 (luzianne tea has tiny staples, so its easy to use) tea bags
Two stainless steel or ceramic pots, NO ALUMINUM (it will stain)!
1.To start, the MHRB is pulverized into a stringy/powdery consistency; the finer the better! This can be done using a coffee grinder or by wrapping the bark in a shirt or some other robust material and beating with a hammer.
2.The same is done with the Syrian Rue. The best way is simply using a cutting board and a knife. Ideally ending up with a coarse powder.
3.Two normal tea bags are emptied out by removing the staple holding them shut. One is filled with the pulverized MHRB material, and the other with the Syrian Rue (Depending on how much material used, both the MHRB and Syrian Rue may fit into one bag). The bags are resealed with a staple or something similar to ensure no material leaks.
4.One pot it filled with 2 cups water (preferably distilled) and 4 tablespoons vinegar, both tea bags are immersed in the water and brought to a low simmer. Not boiled! Excessive heat will only destroy alkaloids!
5.After 1 to 1.5 hours, the teabags are removed and the purple liquid poured into the second pot. Step #4 is repeated two more times as there are still alkaloids left in the plant material.
6.The larger pot will now have roughly 5 cups (due to evaporation) of potent Mimosahuasca. One could drink it as is, but it's likely way too much liquid to handle, so reducing is recommended. To do so, the liquid is simply left over low heat until most of the water has evaporated, leaving a small (roughly a shot-glass or two) amount of dark, chunky, foul-smelling goo.
If one were to consume, he/she should ingest 1 gram of Syrian Rue via parachuting, mixed with a liquid, etc. ~15 minutes before he/she plans to drink the brew. When ready, the 'liquid' is poured into a shot glass, and quickly dunk. It WILL taste terrible, seriously, like 'For me, it tasted like rotten kool-aid and vomit' terrible. The user should lie down, stay warm and comfortable. Effects are usually felt within 30-45 minutes after ingestion. Be very very careful what you eat, because even common foods can be fatal if eaten with a MAOI (syrian rue).
I prepared the brew exactly as described using anywhere from 10-15g Mimosa and 2-4g Syrian Rue (i did not have a scale)
After swallowing 2g of ground syrian rue powder, I begin separating my two cups of liquid into a shot glass, I originally had 5 shots it took 4 shots, and directly after the 4th shot, like 2 minutes afterwards I took off. I at first was not aware that I had begun my journey because I was so focused upon not throwing up.
The only regret that I had about using this is that I did not plan ahead because I thought that I could make it to the bathroom, so i ended up throwing up in my living room.
[(non-sequitur)The concept of time is stupid and meaningless, its only use is to assists in measuring the distance from one experience to another, and i could not keep track during my journey, however I do know that I started at 2am and ended at six am.]
Phase 1: Ego Death
This part is hard to explain, for one needs to know and understand a psychological principal discovered by Sigmun Freud, there are three basic components to the psyche: 1. Id-impulses such as hunger and thirst, but also the duality of destruction and creation, etc 2.Ego- the self without morals, it assists in the facilitation of the Id's impulses, The Ego is the me part of life, whereas the Id is like 'I'm Hungry and I want food now', the Ego is like 'I want food, but i cant just go get it right now, so what is the best way about going to get food for myself.' 3.Superego- The Self with morals, this component is feelings such as altruism and charity, it is like 'I may be Hungry and want food, but I can get it later, that man over there needs this food more than I do currently.'
Ok, now that that is out of the way, Ego Death is painful...horribly painful, but it is neccessary, this entire experience would not have been possible had I not Undergone Ego Death.
So i sat down on my bed hoping to listen to music, but the red light on my Wii looked terribly like an eye, so i started seeing faces,non human faces of a type of alien machine hybrid then i was attacked by said faces, they tore me to shreds, but i healed instantly, it looked like physical wounds, but i didnt realize it wasnt until later in the experience, so i proceeded, nfrom my room to the bathroom and tried to throw up, because i somehow knew that if I did everything would stop and I'd be normal again, but as i sat there attempting to throw up A harsh male voice said to me 'you asked for it, and this is what you will know.' I immediately lost touch of my body, I could see through my eyes, but the more i tried to move my limbs the less I could feel of my body, it was like on autopilot, so my body moved and i started freaking out, it was cold, but I tried to use my thermostat and it would not respond, kind of like a light switch in a dream. So i tried to go get my blanket from my bed, but as i moved everything lost its depth and my room looked really scary, so i was like i need a blanket, and there was one on my couch in the living room so I went and lay down on the sofa and covered up, then I turned my head for a moment and the TV was on, there were some sort of infomercial concerning rock hard abs on it, it then switched to something about women's weight loss, and it switched to a thousand different infomercials and commercials, I then realized something I knew in the back of my mind, I realized that advertisements are made to make people feel as if they are not good enough and the only thing stopping them from being good enough is the product being advertised, I felt sick and turned off the tv with the remote (im lucky it worked in that dream logic world). With the tv off silence began to surround me, I saw myself disentegrate piece by piece, and I felt my heart and it was beating with a rhythm, but it was beating terribly fast, and I wondered if i had eaten some sort of high tyramine food lately, and then i Died
Phase 2: Life
I saw my life flash before my eyes, but not just what i experienced up until then, i saw everything from birth to my dying of old age, when I died I was in a void.
In that void was two figures, myself as I am now and a woman, she was enourmous in height, had brown earth tone skin and plant green hair, but her eyes were the most striking feature, they were darker if possible than the nothingness around us, but where the iris and pupil should be was every conceivable universe with every conceivable possibility all compressed into an infintesimally small point. I asked her ' Am I dead' She stated very gently, 'dont worry little gecko (for some reason she referred to me as that, i guess its the whole south american thing that seems to pop up in every ayahuasca experience ive read, no matter what the brew is created from.) You asked for answers, and i believe you should receive them, just remember that no matter what you see or feel i am guiding you.' I asked her if she was what humans refer to as god. She said ' In a sense, but i do not impose so much control as people would expect.' I asked: What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?' She said: 'you' I was puzzeled, so i said 'you mean humanity' She chuckled a warm hearted laugh and said 'No silly, you, yourself, the creature right in front of me, you see we are the exact same, i am from a place very far away, but one day you shall be like me, for you are of my kind.' I asked her when, she said 'when you have lived the life of every living creature in the universe, you will be like me.' i said ' so the universe is essentially an egg, and i am every living creature possible.' she said 'yes.' i asked her if i was Adolf Hitler, she said' yes and all the people he killed.'
I asked her if i could see the universe end. She stated: 'you must begin at the beginning.'
Phase 3: The Universe and everything
I saw the universe begin, i watched as it unfolded, i saw the solar system coalesce, i am the first bacteria and every bacteria since then, i felt myself divide and evolve into different every species ever, I felt and saw things that most people wouldnt imagine, i killed myself over and over again in every form, experienced death and birth billions of times, i felt the pain of every death as if it were my own and the pleasure of every creature as if i had been it. I lived as e, or if it was very single human in every different time of every different race both simultaneously and seperately, i felt it as a bullet ripped through my skull just as i was experiencing the relief that i had killed an enemy of my life. i realized that this was what a god must feel like, but i heard a voice tell me that it wasnt quite godlike yet. and i saw a new dimension, and i touched it and i lived life as it would have been in every possible scenario, the voice said 'this is what being a god is like'
i saw and felt the planet die and the sun consume the inner planets. i felt our galaxy collide with andromeda, i felt the universe get cold and fade away, then suddenly it disappeared like when you turn off an old tv set.
The fractals started after the universe ended and i asked questions about what was the right way to live life, and what was the wrong way, if religion was right, and of so which one, and if they were wrong, and the woman said all religions got it right,and they are all wrong, humans live in a perceived reality of extremes they think of everything in terms of duality, black and white, good and evil, light and dark, to percieve good humans need evil to be present and so on, i saw enlightenment and became enlightened, and i realized that enlightenment is not a goal, but a journey, no one is truly enlightened, but some are farther along their paths than others, i realized that everything is fleeting and permanent, that when the universe is gone another one will immediately begin, that individual universes are temporary, but the cycle is eternal.
i slowly experience the cycle backwards back to where i am currently in life, remembering the lessons, but the woman said that the human mind wasnt able to contain the feelings and experiences of a billion billion lives
I open my eyes but I can hardly see a thing.
My limbs are so weak. A kind of strange mixture of numbness and exhaustion seems to permeate their muscles. I am about to find this feeling is a result of neither of these descriptors, but rather that my limbs’ loyalty to me is surreptitiously being relinquished to some mysterious, imperious menace.
I begin to wake, but i am still journeying, i begin to feel wildly, and spastically rapidly contorting The surges are an ear popping, ego-concussing kind of electrochemical ramp up that turns every nerve terminal molten before finally subsiding and leaving me frozen in a state of wide-eyed shock. They'’re mostly physical, at least insofar as my emotional and cerebral reaction to them remains sober, and so during all this, despite their overwhelming power, my thoughts stay coherent.
Suddenly— teeth gritted and fists balled— I am wrenched into the fetal position by a spastic reflex. This is accompanied by a viciously energetic surge of profound disorientation and nausea. The sensation of vomiting is horrendous and unrelenting. I think the retching has been stretched to its most miserable limits, and then, in a feat of gastrointestinal contortionism, curling like the fetid petal-edges of a rotten flower, my esophageal sphincter suddenly feels as though it blows inside out. It comes with a wet pop and a grotesque, synaesthetic vision that’s rancid to the core, infected by bilious colors and violently visceral dynamism.
I will not lie in my own vomit too.
After approximately a minute of this convulsive, un-breathing hell I fall back to the floor and drop my head onto the pillow, face covered in vomit and gasp for air, my lungs slurping in atmosphere like it was my first breath and reflexively sputtering out coughs in rapid-fire succession.
I then clean up the mess and then begin writing this report, lest i forget the events that happened.
In Conclusion, Ayahuasca in all its forms is exremely powerful, Do Not do this as a recreational drug, you will probably go insane, if you do not respect this when you take it, then it will teach you respect for it the hard way. The fact that i survived all of that with my sanity intact still has me in a state of shock, Normally i would never do a hallucinogenic alone, but i felt that the first time with this is what it'd have to be, that being said, i barley had enough willpower to do so, there was a point when my sanity was breaking down, but i held it together.
Warnings aside, everyone should partake of this substance it isnt for the faint of heart (both literally and figuratively), but it is an extremly sublime and cathartic experience, anyone who is sad or lonely or depressed should experience this.
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Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.