DOSE: T+ 0:10	1 - 2 g	oral	Mushrooms
T+ 0:10		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I have done mushrooms a few times before this experience, and the first time was a wonderful euphoric experience for me, others around me... not so much, but I digress. The second time I was at a music festival and had an amazing time. This drug and I were friends up until the third (and final) time I decided to take them.

I was at my boyfriends 'R's' house, a very familiar and comfortable environment. I was with friends 'C' and 'K' whom I adore and am extremely comfortable with. The only downside to this was, I was more interested in finding MDMA for the night, but alas, could not. So I settled for all natural psilocybin. I suppose you could say I went into this trip not particularly enthusiastic, as I would have much rather taken MDMA and had a jolly good time myself. But regardless, at about 8:00 pm I ingested what I believe to be approx. 1.5 grams, which is not a lot, but my body seems to be sensitive to certain drugs, so I always play it on the safe side and take a small dose, feel that high out and if need be, take a little more. I had that nervous excited feeling in my stomach as I was eating, and not more than 10 minutes after swallowing the last bit did I start feeling nauseous so hey! Why not smoke a joint? (bad idea) another 5 minutes passed and I was in the bathroom with ridiculous dry heaves, and I managed to vomit up what looked like SOME of the mushrooms.

That's when the trip took a turn for the worst. My mind started to take over and panic because I threw up. I'm thinking 'Why did I throw up? This has never happened before, why is my heart beating so fast?' So my first instinct was to go outside and get some fresh air. I sat in R's garage with him trying to calm myself down, it had only been probably 45 minutes by this point I ate the mushrooms, the effects shouldn't be happening this quick should they? So, as we were sitting in the garage he was trying to calm me down, being logical about the situation. I was trying to pay attention, but the woodpile behind him started 'breathing', that didn't play well with me. I decided to go back inside and sit and talk to some other friends, try to get my mind off the high. I went inside and just felt totally claustrophobic, so my next instinct was to lay down.

I crawled into bed and turned on the T.V. Time seemed to move extremely fast for the next 3 hours, it was if I was laying down for 5 minutes but all of a sudden it was 11:00pm 'good' I thought to myself 'I have three hours of this down, only about 2 more to go, I've gotten this far without dying, I think I can manage the rest' I can honestly say I don't know what transpired between 8 and 11, I suppose it could have been somewhat of a blackout, or dazed state, all I can remember is just constantly feeling shear terror, and continuously telling myself that it's going to be okay.

Then the visuals hit. I was laying in bed with C and K sitting on the couch next to me, watching tv. The tv was tilted towards me more, so I could half see a poster on the wall behind it. One of the characters from the poster seemed to be 3 dimensional, standing behind the tv, peaking out and staring at me. I kept saying 'holy shit! do you see this!?' K was sober and thought I had gone insane, C however, thought this was hilarious. It made me feel more paranoid than anything. Fast forward an hour. I'm watching a sitcom with K, and in this show, one of the characters is having a dream where 4 kids are in his room. The youngest of which starts talking in some strange sounding voice, then seems to grow very pale, her eyes go black, and she starts talking in a demonic evil drone. I freaked out and shut the tv off. K and I decide to go upstairs to make hot dogs. I sat down at the kitchen table while he's over by the stove putting the water on to boil. I'm watching him and it's as if someone placed a transparent pastel pink sheet of paper in front of my eyes. Everywhere I look, it's pink, and everything I look at trails off into the abyss. K sat down across the table from me and started talking to me about nonsense, I was trying to focus on him and what he was saying but in my peripheral vision I see the table bending and contorting, I got up and went back down to bed.

I lay there listening to R and C jabber on, my mind was racing at the speed of light. It seemed like I was thinking of every aspect of my life, every aspect of human existence all at once, a brain overload. I thought my head was going to explode. But there, in the distance, I could see and sense it. Sleep. All I wanted since the beginning of this was sleep. And there it was, I could almost touch it. I started to drift off, all sounds beginning to grow distant, my heartbeat slowing. Euphoria, finally, euphoria! I have been waiting for you! I embraced that moment with all I had, sleep was coming, I felt good, then BAM! 1:30 am. The bedroom door slams open, startles me (there goes the heartbeat again) I reluctantly open my eyes to see a stranger. 'Who the fuck is this' I thought to myself, starting to feel panicked again because my sense of euphoria was snatched from me, I sat up. 'E' comes barging in and plops down on the floor, looks at me and goes 'Haha wow, you look absolutely fucked up'... Thanks man, that's exactly what I need to hear from someone I barely know. Reassurance of the degree of fucked up didn't help the situation.

Back to the fear, I felt so at a loss that my euphoria vanished, I felt scared again, I thought it was over, but now it's back again. I just want this to be done. The constant feeling of terror was starting to wear thin on me, I started to think that this was never going to end. C sold E some green and R and C showed E out. Meanwhile K is trying to comfort me once again, I kept asking him 'Okay, it's been almost 6 hours, shouldn't this be done?' and his response, for SOME reason snapped me right back into reality. He said 'I'm really sorry to tell you this, but you probably won't start feeling better until 4 or maybe even 5.' For whatever reason, that response floored me. I don't know if it was because an outside source reassured me that this WOULD end, and I would feel normal again. Or because someone finally gave me somewhat of a time limit on this stuff. I don't know, but whatever it was, I felt better. I layed back, watched some tv and somewhat relaxed. Fast forward to 3:30 am. K decides it's time for bed, he goes upstairs, C comes down and hunkers himself down on the couch with a pillow and a blanket. R comes and gets in bed with me, we lay there for about a half an hour talking about his trip (which was a good one mind you) 4:00 am rolls around.... 4:30... 4:45, and I can finally feel the mushrooms releasing the grip on me, I look at R and start giggling for the first time, he does the same. I finally started to feel like myself again, it went from a terrifying 'I seriously think I'm going to fucking die' feeling to a mellow 'I can handle this' sort of thing. And without much effort, sleep found me in its whole.

I woke up the next morning feeling relatively normal, I had some anxiety about getting up and going out, I was pretty emotional for the first part of the morning, but once I got outside into the fresh sunny air, I felt myself once again.

From that point on, I think I came to realize that hallucinogenic drugs probably aren't for me. I no longer like the body high they give me, and I have never been fond of visuals. So for now, my friend psilocybin has taken a long long LONG vacation.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 89718
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jan 13, 2021	Views: 518
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