DOSE:

oral

Mushrooms - P. cubensis

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

I just had what I think was the most intense trip of my life. I recently acquired a single huge cubensis mushroom (due to a error made in growing, a normal patch of shrooms produced a single huge mushroom). I don't know whether the mushroom was just super potent or it weighted more than I estimated, but the trip that resulted felt like way over even 5 grams, and I just wasn't prepared for that.

I took the shrooms at about 21:00. It took 30 minutes to kick in. Effects began with things becoming alive moving patterns everywhere, colors became more intense, etc. I dozed off on a couch for sometime, I think about an hour. I woke up to find out that I had morphed with a blanket and a couch. I started laughing hysterically, but suddenly felt sick and fell back into the couch. I closed my eyes and I saw red spirals on the side of my right eye, and a television snow storm on my left side. Eventually they started to become colorful patterns and geometry. I was in their awe, and I think I passed out while looking at them. Everything from here goes very blurry. I don't know if I was dreaming or awake, but I saw things, things hard to describe. Death, true nature of reality, suffering, desire. I remember I kept myself amazingly cool with my mind being bombarded with the most horrible of visions. I tried to bargain, 'okay, I've seen enough, can this trip please end now?', I called out for my mother, Jesus, Buddha, Allah and even Pepsi for some reason, I just wanted someone to end it. At times I would regain consciousness, I would try to get up, but I couldn't since my body wasn't there or I just couldn't gather strength. I think this went on for more than 3 hours. Next thing I remember clearly is waking up at around 1am. I'm totally confused at this point, I don't know whether I'm alive, dead or dreaming. I gather all my strength and I manage to get myself in a sitting position. Almost immediately I notice something warm and liquid flow through my pelvic region and I notice I just peed myself. Okay, so here is where things go completely insane. I try to recollect what the fuck just happened. After a long session of pushing my brain, I come to the conclusion that I died and became god. I'm 100% certain that it must be so. I thought I was immortal and all other people on earth had disappeared. I told myself my job was to wait for the next intelligent animal to rise on top of food chain and then be their god. So I rip off my clothes and dance around my room. Then I hear a snore coming from under my door. I'm confused since I though I was the only human alive. I open the door and I see my roommate passed out on the public area. I come to the conclusion that he is not real, but merely a manifestation of my old self. I also get a feeling that he's evil and/or demonic so I quickly run into the toilet and take a shower. I sit on the ground and I pee myself again, smear my hand in it and put it in my mouth. I'm afraid of my roommate, and I'm thinking the longer I wait in there, the stronger he will grow. I decide I will stay in the toilet for the next 10 years meditating and practicing how to be a god. I eventually fall asleep and wake up there next morning with a horrible headache. After going though this, I think I'm done with all psychedelics for a while, maybe even for good.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 90098
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Feb 28, 2021	Views: 912
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Unknown Context (20)