Citation: Pilot. "Truth And Fear: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp91956)". Erowid.org. Jun 14, 2021. erowid.org/exp/91956
I am going to tell you the best and worst experience I have had with mushrooms. I've only tried it 2 successful times one which brought out one of the most profound experience, and one which brought the worst fears out of me. I've been researching about psychedelics for around 3 years and have been reading a great amout of literature in the subject since I believe it can unlock doors that go beyond our average perception bringing about different dimensions of consciousness and truth.
The 1st time I tried mushrooms was a beautiful day. When I woke up, the sun was shining and everything was just perfect. My mood was perfect and my purpose was pure and focused and so I ate 5 teaspoons of jammed mushrooms. Tasted like very very sweet soil it wasnt all that bad. I continued on cooking my lasagna in the morning and I start feeling jittery and happy. My mom comes home and my sister wanted to go out so I start freaking out about how I cannot go out in this state! Then I get all confused and so many things are coming into my head like what should I do (I'm trying to act as normal as possible which I do so until I couldnt take it) I go upstairs to leave my mother sister and grandfather alone and I am left in this state of restlessness and insanity! My neck, knees, and back are giving up on me and I'm feeling so restless so many thoughts are going into my head! I decide to lie on my bed and remember to relax. I feel like a rose that was endlessly trying to blossom, layer after layer, never ending
I feel like a rose that was endlessly trying to blossom, layer after layer, never ending
I remembered my purpose..BAM! I just hit this plateau of amazing and unimaginable serenity where everything was perfect in all sense of the word. The world as I knew it was perfect and just the way it should be! I wanted to be with everyone at that time but, really it did not matter because I was with everyone (not the best way to express it but the best way I could put into words). Everything I ever thought about, I just knew and everything was happening at the same time! I read so much about the psychedelic experience in the past, I thought I had the idea of what it was like, but no, this is unfathomable. I was in a state wherein I felt THIS is where I have been all along. I was amazed at the fact that this felt so natural and that I've felt this before it was too familiar... I was so happy! Unbelievable happy! Yet I was hit with melancholy for sobriety. I wanted to live! I wanted to celebrate life! I was ready to come back! I wanted to shout in joy to my mother 'I now know what life is all about!' (of course I didnt but was seriously about to since nothing else mattered but this state -- I knew though that I ate mushrooms and that this could be and is still all delusion). I came down from the whole experience so changed and glowing for the rest of the week! Saddens me that no one could understand me though not even my best friend who is also a truth seeker. I figured, the point of life is to live in this physical world, to love, to connect, and to experience everything this world has to offer. This concludes my 1st and best ever profound experience.
Mushrooms really are very serious and must be treated with respect! I hate how my friends go do it and talk to the moon and hug with barney and 'space out' damnit its so much more than that. Its a sacrament!
Yet, I forgot this 2 days ago - 7 months now after the 1st experience, which is why (even after all I've ever learned) I still had a bad trip.
I bought mushrooms recently again hoping to come back to where I have been all along. I never intended to take it that day but my friend came over and I woke up really bad my mood was not at all ready for anything like mushrooms. My friend J has been a friend for 7 years we're really close but we always have failed to establish that true connection. I never wanted to take mushrooms with him because of how seriously I take mushrooms. We hung out the whole day and decide to do it at the night with one of our high school friend, S - a girl, whom I just recently befriended and who was never gotten high on anything at all. We pick her up and ate roughly around 4 teaspoons each, we finished half the jar (insane!) and I decide that we should drive to the mountains an hour away since its cold and the view is amazing at night perfect for mushrooms. [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
J gets hit 1st as we arrive and me and S were still just feeling weirdness in the jaw. It was cold and the view was amazing, I get sentimental on how I will be moving to Wales soon to study. We stay for about 2 hours until I decide, this is not gonna hit (I've tried mushrooms with S around 2 times before this day and it didnt hit us at all maybe because we were expecting it).
J was hit, but not full blown he was okay as we head back to the car to smoke weed as we head home. We get really really stoned, S still not high (or so she thinks), and I see a small road with a sign 'to Manila' I decided to bet that this might actually lead to where we are heading instead of the normal route, just to have a bit of fun. As I drive along, I unknowingly get hit by the mushrooms and start doubting everything! The road was dark no street lights and we could see nothing but trees and occasional nipa huts. I feel like we have been driving for so long and I feel scared that we are going to get lost and have not enough gas to go back up. S didnt even ask permission and J has classes the next day so I felt so obligated to get them back home safely. We drive for so long and we are so quiet for some reason and J's presence isnt helping my situation so is S's silence. I just keep going on and I'm doubting everything (at least the road was going downhill) but then! We hit this diversion! The only diversion! Its left or right! We panic and laugh. I keep my composure amazingly throughout the trip as I feel really anxious. We decide to take right, now as we drive along, the road starts going UP! Now I'm confused and all the more nervous. The music was so loud and was adding to the nervous atmosphere while J starts getting really weird with what he says and S is still quiet. We see dogs on the narrow road and they bark and run after the car as we drove along, man the place was dark and scary! Now we return back up to a familiar road! I'm relieved but still I'm left in this really bad state of I'm not sure of anything! We're driving along now, normal route and wow I couldnt drive normally! I just didnt know how but by instinct of experience I just drove on the right side of the road the places were familiar but wow I didnt know where to go. I had to follow road signs which I never looked at.
This was the 1st time I lost control like this, doubting myself in every way, to even just plain talking. I couldnt do anything about this mood. I was facing my biggest fear -not knowing! I felt like this was gonna change me forever even if logically I knew I would come back sober but wow all the way home I was just scared and hopeless about myself.
I went against everything I stood for about the mushrooms which is why I got the bad trip. I seriously do not recommend driving on it. Treat it with respect for its power.
Its been 2 days and I am okay. I'm quitting weed and shrooms for a long while. Mushrooms can bring out the best and the worst in unbelievable timing.
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