DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

Okay, so this is my first experience with shrooms. Me and my buddies ate 2 grams each at a ghetto motel which was not the best environment for shrooming, especially my first time. This was the start of a very long and interesting night. I was a bit nervous at first but I knew I was going to do them either way and whatever happens happens so I might as well just roll with the punches and try to be excited and enjoy every second. Hah, Easier said than done.

As I watched Tv the affects start to kick in and I get a weird drunk feeling.. Then everything started moving and getting groovy. We were all talking and laughing as this was new to me they welcomed me with, 'Welcome to shroomland'. A few times we would look at each other and just bust up laughing for no reason. Haha. 

So I began to explore the room, walls and carpet melting, and breathing.. Faces looking distorted.. At one point I saw a table moving side to side. I was like, 'this is awesome how can anyone have a bad trip on shrooms?' instantly I regretted saying that as it could've created a bad vibe. 

We kept trying to answer 'the question to life' which is, why are we here?? But everything ended up in a paradox. I would go to say something and just stop, because I'd either forget or see it as pointless because.. Well.. It was.. because there was no answer to this question and we were talking in circles as it was just a giant loophole.

Then things kind of went downhill as I started thinking a lot and being extremely self conscious. At one point I remember things being kind of dark, I went to use the bathroom and as I pissed everything brightened up and was wavy and relaxing.. And I started busting up laughing at how ridiculous that was, then went right back to being dark and dull. I felt trapped inside this apartment.. Afraid to go do anything because of police being called. I was really paranoid that we were loud and cops would show up and take us to jail. I could just.. Feel it.. And couldn't help it.

This is where things went crazy. My friend said, 'All roads lead to shroomland'. Suddenly, I realized that everything was the same.. In which nothing mattered or was significant, as THIS was it. I felt like I had no control over how I felt or perceived things no matter how hard I tried they seemed to be part of an empty, meaningless cycle. A lot of my fearful thoughts of never being able to be complete again and a meaningless existence that had been locked away had surfaced. There was no escape, not even death.. In which I saw no point in either.

It was at that point I realized if nothing matters, then I have nothing to fear. If I have nothing to fear, then these thoughts shouldn't burden me and I can live a more fulfilling life as I can experience new things that I was limited by my fears. This could in turn, be the source of happiness and strength that I've been searching so desperately for. This gave me hope.

All the problems in my life became obvious and rather than seeing them as hopeless, I saw them as things that can be changed. Such as my anxiety, or making things right with those I love, being more open and honest with myself and those around me, and facing my fears and stop worrying so much what others think, but to be true to myself because all that matters in the end is what we think of ourselves.

After that I was able to let go, get outside of my mind and enjoy the rest of my experience. We grabbed my gloves and gave each other lightshows to some dubstep and just relaxed. At one point we locked ourselves out, we got freaked out for a minute but regained our composure and got the guy to unlock the door for us.

Overall it was a very eye opening experience which helped me learn a lot about myself, appreciate my life, my friends and family and It has helped me to face my fears and conquer them to progress to be a better and happier person. :)



 

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 92842
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Feb 9, 2012	Views: 6,807
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Mushrooms (39) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)