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Death and Rebirth
Mushrooms - P. azurescens
by nini
Citation:   nini. "Death and Rebirth: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. azurescens (exp93366)". Erowid.org. May 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/93366

 
DOSE:
3.5 g oral Mushrooms - P. azurescens (dried)

BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb


I had been mentally preparing myself for the day I would take my 8th of mushrooms for a few days prior, eating well, trying to keep myself in a positive mindset, etc. I have taken a fair amount of psychedelics so far. I have smoked DMT many times and taken acid three or four times. I don't think anything would have prepared me for what happened.

+0:00 I began by making a pesto pizza I bought the day before and then I put my mushrooms on it and begin to eat. As I took the last bite, I sat down and started watching Knocked Up while waiting for the onset of the trip. This was at 2pm.

+0:30 I Started to feel the mushrooms taking effect, the clouded thoughts, the walls breathing, and the faces of the characters in the movie morphing. Soon later I went to my room to lay down in the dark and listen to shpongle.

+1:15 I am laying down in my bed, The Star Shpongled Anthem playing in the background, when suddenly I feel as if I am in two places at once; my dorm room at college (where I actually was), and my room at home. (This feeling lasted until the bathroom episode, which I will get to shortly.) I am having very cool visuals, CEV and OEV, and some interesting thoughts.

+2:00 I am now playing guitar, It sounds amazing, and feels as if I am actually playing better than I usually would, then I start feeling a little overwhelmed by the trip.

+2:30 The overwhelming feeling continues, so I try to calm myself down by listening to phish and mentally telling myself nothing can harm you, you will be ok. It works for a little, but I still have a weird feeling inside me. I put on Reno 911, but all the characters are making no sense, their sentences are random words to me, and they face morphing is in full effect. I feel very uncomfortable, and while I know to never fight a trip, I find myself subconsciously doing so.
I feel very uncomfortable, and while I know to never fight a trip, I find myself subconsciously doing so.


+3:00 I feel very unnerved. I go to the bathroom, only 2 feet from my bedroom door, and come back and feel very very strange. I stare at my Godspeed You! Black Emperor poster, specifically at an eye at the bottom of it. The eye has lines surrounding it, and suddenly the lines start to recede back into the eye. I lay down in my bed and try to get over this feeling. My stomach is hurting fairly bad at this point.

+3:45 I go to the bathroom once more, and this time I start at myself in the mirror for a very long time. My face begins to morph, and I lean in very close to the mirror, my forehead touching it, and then something snaps and I feel as if I have traveled through the mirror back into my bathroom in my dorm, instead of being in two places at once. I then feel something telling me I was going to die. My stomach begins to hurt much more than before, and I am thinking to myself the mushrooms I ate were bad, and now I'm going to die. I'm going to die in this bathroom and I'm not even in my own house. I fall to the floor, and the next thing I know I am in my bed.

+4:00 I have no idea what happened but I thought I died. I am sweating uncontrollably, so I take off my clothes and curl up in a ball in my bed. I think that I have died and been reborn somehow, and I start feeling very sad.

+6:00 I manage to finally fall asleep, and I wake up 45 minutes later at 8:45 and cry for an hour. I want to go home, I want to be with my mom and dad.

+7:00 feeling as close to baseline as I would until the next day, but I text my girlfriend and tell her what happened, and what I wanted to do. She calmed me down, and I felt much much better, albeit very confused.

It felt like my whole mind has shattered after I woke up, and I had to pick up the pieces. I didn't find out that the mushrooms I consumed were Azurescens until the next day, and realized that I should not have eaten a full 8th of them. For anyone reading this, always know what you are taking, no matter what drug. I don't plan on taking any psychedelics for a while, but I feel much better now that I have looked back on it and analyzed it.

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 93366
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: May 5, 2018Views: 1,112
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Mushrooms - P. azurescens (844) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)

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