Citation: Kevin. "A Paranoia Hell: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp95868)". Erowid.org. Jun 21, 2021. erowid.org/exp/95868
My girlfriend and I broke up a while ago, and I just found out that she was going to date another guy. She asked me of course if that was, and me pretending not to give a **** said it was fine. I went out with her for three years and it seemed that my life sort of revolved around her, so now that I really didn’t care about much anymore I decided to try some new things out. I had already done much weed in my life previous to my ex-girlfriend, so I looked on to shrooms. About a week ago I ate a half of an eighth of shrooms and had one of the most spectacular times of my life. I had a smooth gentle high feeling and everything danced in color as patterns became more visible. I did it with my friend and we decided to watch “trippy videos” on youtube which was a great idea, because another friend came in the room and told me I was drooling. Even my cell phone was a toy at the time. I ended up texting people things like “woahhhhhh fsafjfsj looook at all the letters 8)”.
So a couple of days later I decided to try some more. A female friend of mine who I once had sex with told me that she wanted to trip with me, after of course I told her about the amazing experience I had. Around where I live getting shrooms can be rather tough, so I asked her to find a dealer. So she found a guy who sold a pill called 4Aco-Dmt. At the time I did not know this so I followed her to the guy’s apartment where he gave us each a pill (25mg ea) for a reasonable price. Two hours later, when I was at her place we took the pills. Me being all tough and mighty decided to swallow it with a small amount of water. Also I had not eaten that day which made me feel brave. Then we decided to go to another dorm on campus to meet up with some of her friends. Usually I’m a pretty talkative and friendly person and so was she, but that all changed when I stepped in the dorm. I didn’t know a single person and I suddenly became shy and timid. She kept talking and socializing to different people and I was sort of dragged along like a dog or something.
My stomach started feeling funny so I told her I wanted to get a snack from the vending machine. She accompanied me and we got a couple of snacks. After eating a cookie I bought, my mouth became really dry and I started to worry. Regardless I didn’t want to seem like a loser so I pretended I was fine and carried on. We went upstairs through many doors and that’s when it hit me. I started hearing everyone’s voice and started to think everyone was talking about me. I tried to stick around for a couple of minutes but the paranoia got worse and worse. I couldn’t take it any longer and told my friend I had to get water. I passed a group of people sitting around a bunch of lounge chairs who directed me to the nearest water fountain. From there I decided to jet out of the building, but at this time walls were encompassing me and they started breathing heavily, I felt like I was in a maze of entrapment. Soon I found that I was in my own nightmare. Time seemed to be still as I went through different doors trying to find my escape. Voices became louder and more distorted and they all seemed directed at me, other people laughed at a distance. I finally found my way outside. It was night now and I was alone, very, very alone. The whole world seemed to be against me, as generators made eerie nightmarish sounds and as trees seemed to lean towards me with long twisted branches. Paranoia kept me on the edge and gave me the worst thoughts of my life. In reality I was probably only outside for 5 minutes as I walked to my dorm, but it felt like 2 hours. I went inside my dorm and walked to my room without seeing anyone. I got inside and shut the door hoping to find my roommate to help me or calm me down but he wasn’t there. Suddenly the room started enclosing on me; I had no control of the horrible horrible thoughts that were in my head. I threw up in the toilet and started to watch the vomit spin and twist out of control. I called my friend who had previously done the shrooms with me and he didn’t pick up. For some reason I felt that he looked down on me, that everyone did, that I was just a naked little ant under a microscope. The paranoia was so powerful that I wanted to run away from everybody, but that only made me feel more alone and scared.
A couple of minutes later he called me back and came walking down the hallway towards my room. I flailed my arms at him to tell him to hurry up and started saying, “BAD TRIP BAD TRIP MAN.” He kept asking me questions about it and I told him to stop because it was freaking me out. I told him to stay and for any reason not to leave me alone. I said I was incredibly sorry and asked question like “am I going to die,” “do I need to go to the hospital.” He looked it up on my computer and tried to assure me that everything was going to be ok, but that didn’t help. I was still in a nightmare. I decided to try to sleep, so I climbed in bed and shut my eyes, but that only made things worse. I saw my mom with a distorted face screaming at me and telling me that I wasn’t her son, I saw my ex-girlfriend and many others as the all peered down on me and judged me with ridiculing eyes. I started throwing up all over my bed, so my friend gave me a trash bag. Creatures with ghoulish faces all distorted and colorful were thrown into my thoughts from everywhere. I remember saying, “**** me, **** me why did I do this, get out of my head, leave me alone!” I tried to stop thinking, but bad disturbing thoughts, emotions, and vibes came pouring in from everywhere. It felt like it was never going to end. I kept asking my friend if he was still there, which he would reply yes. Suddenly my roommate came back from dinner with a couple of friends and after 5 or so minutes the strangest thing occurred. I actually became happy and filled with laughter, soon I discovered myself Prancing around the room saying, “woahhhh man, look at all the colors and patterns. I don’t see patterns, I am a pattern.” I went from a living nightmare to one of the best times in my life. I don’t know exactly what it was about my friends all being there, but it completely turned my trip around.
Once I was set in a good mood I did everything I could to banish any bad thoughts from entering my head and sending me into a spiral. Some places and things creeped me out, so I quickly moved away from them. The rest of the trip was a battle to remain in good vibes. I took the pill around 7 p.m. and the trip set in at 7:40 p.m. and it was over my 10p.m. My friend weighing significantly less, apparently tripped for three extra hours and reported having colorful energetic fun, but then totally losing touch with reality and her thought. I still wish I had her experience because at least she didn’t go to nightmare paranoia world. 4Aco-Dmt, I have decided to never try again unless I was in a comfortable setting before doing the hallucinogenic or any for that matter. Good and bad thoughts really do change your perspective of reality tripping and sober.
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