Citation: freezy. "I Canít Even See Anymore: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp96467)". Erowid.org. Sep 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/96467
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The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Since September of my senior year in high school, I have been experimenting with drugs both in hopes of gaining insight into my problems, interest and self-medication. It has been roughly two years since then and my list of drug exploits includes weed, shrooms, LSD, MDMA in rock form and in cut rolls, 2c-e, 25-I nbome, cocaine, a few pills (which I try to stay away from), alcohol, and a few other unimportant things not worth mentioning. Out of everything, I prefer psychedelics.
Set and Setting:
I had tripped shrooms on a number of occasions, somewhere around twenty times I believe, but had never gone any higher than 1/8. Psychedelics have always teased me in one way or another; I always feel as though Iím on the edge of having a genuine psychedelic experience that is utterly life-changing and lives up to what people like Timothy Leary would describe it as, but instead only gain interesting perspective and insight. Not that that is a bad thing, but I always strive for more. So you can imagine my delight when I heard that my friend was bringing some shrooms into town (a nice surprise considering this town never gets good drugs). I had money, and decided that despite how intense it was bound to be (I personally think that shrooms are more intense than LSD), I was going to eat a whole 7 grams. We planned to leave the house we stayed in and go to a trail near campus to experience the trip in nature. My opinion is that if the earth is kind enough to give us a fruit as important as psychedelic mushrooms, we should honor it by experiencing the spirit of the earth while we trip.
I bought the quarter and had somewhat low hopes for the shrooms. They didnít look very well grown compared to all the other good shrooms Iíve eaten (Iíve tripped on shrooms 20 something times, at least enough to consider myself well versed at the time). I later realized that the shrooms, which were black, were black because of how much bluing they had.
8:00 pm Ė I eat and eighth of shrooms, not expecting to feel anything for at least an hour like normal, given my somewhat high tolerance. Even good shrooms usually take a while to hit me noticeably.
8:30 Ė I feel them, quite noticeably in fact. I cram around two more grams into my mouth.
8:45 Ė Good God am I high. No visual distortions have occurred but I fee unutterably strange. My friends and I (one of whom has never eaten shrooms before and just ate an eighth) decide to head to the woods.
9:15 Ė Weíve hiked a good way up the trail so I decide to light up a joint. Shortly thereafter the roof of trees over our heads begins gyrating into an incredibly beautiful web of starry swirls and kaleidoscopic webbing. My friends, who have eaten less than I have, see the same thing, especially my crazily giggly friend who had never tripped before. I can tell these shrooms are very high quality. They were very smooth and had cleaner visuals than any shrooms I had eaten before.
9:30 Ė My best friend, who was chilling at the house, calls me, furious, while Iím in the woods and hits me with a load of complete BS about how even though I had bought him an eighth of shrooms the week earlier, I had told him I didnít need the money back (he was mistaken, I am poor) and that I wasnít a real friend and that I had blindsided him by leaving him out of this nightís trip. Needless to say, these negative emotions began to make me feel incredibly uneasy, and I was bombarded with intense emotions. He tells me the money he just paid me back with is his, and heís incredibly pissed that he has to leave the house to come get it from me so he can have fun too. I reluctantly decide to cave and give him the money, not wanting the bad vibes to ruin what I had planned on being the most spiritual night of my somewhat hard at that point life.
9:40 Ė We meet on the trail. He apologizes, I accept though I know heís just happy to have gotten his way. Itís unimportant, I just donít want negative energy surrounding me.
9:50 Ė I walk up the trail to find my friends but find myself alone as one of them has left the woods and the other has only journeyed deeper to find himself. At this point I am somewhat nervous. I have never eaten this many shrooms, and still upset from what just happened, and the trip is really starting to kick in. plus, Iím alone in the woods and its dark. The stars begin warping and the moon is changing colors rapidly, and all around me the earth is breathing as if to tell me it is just as much a living soul as I. The negative energy starts to effect the visuals, and a tree about 200 feet up the path starts rolling towards me with furious speed. Never had visuals like that before. I decide to walk back to the house and join a friend who is tripping there alone. He also hasnít eaten shrooms before.
10:20 Ė I make it to the house and remember that I have more shrooms and I joint that is a foot and a half long that I rolled before the trip. Life is good, Iím forgetting the negative vibes. I sit to smoke the joint with my friend, whose face is blinking in every color imaginable. In the yard behind the back porch, the plants have turned into chainsaws that are bright green with intensely red blades, and are whipping back and forth. Runic symbols in what I took to be a language humans arenít meant to understand sprout from everything, rends in the fabric of life itself appear and sprout kaleidoscopic patterns of stunning intricacy. Holy shit, these are good shrooms. I am having the deepest conversation I have ever had with a person Iíve never met. I eat the rest of the shrooms.
10:30 Ė The shrooms are just too intense for me. I canít even see anymore, my breathing is heavy and I am incredibly nauseous. I start to think I am going to die, so I have my friend (whose words I cannot understand or even hear) guide me to the room. I am scared but come to the realization after exploring the most intricate visuals I have ever seen (the open eye and closed eye are no different at this point) that I am in unique state that many people arenít lucky enough to experience. My concept of myself disappears entirely, it is the oddest feeling. I am literally just space and time. Whatís odder, even though I feel as though the universe and I are one, I enter a realm that I am not part of. The patterns are forming doorways that lead to different realms. I walk down a spiral staircase in my mind that leads to what I can only describe as Hell, and immediately leave. I interpret this as rejection of all the negative energy I have felt for the past three years. I emerge from Hell to walk into a land my friend would later describe as Valhalla. I am in the sky, walking on the air. I get the distinct impression that the gods have allowed me to come to this place, and am immensely thankful. Forests of incredible detail that look like something out of the movie Avatar sprout around my feet with every footstep. And then I come to a giant golden wall, curved inward to a single point in the center. Eyes sprout out of it. They are powerful, they can see right through me. They show me visions of the future, fill me with emotions, and communicate all sorts of things about me that gave me a whole new understanding of myself. It was unpleasant, but I was grateful. I am confronted by a large wall of intense energy, and through it I see the silhouette of what I interpret to be an elder in this godly kingdom. He begins to shout, and runes of the godly language sprout from everything around me. Six other elders join him, and they all begin to shout. When their shouts come together, they form a collective voice that speaks in a language that I have no idea how I understand, and it fills me with peace and shows me what I will do with my future.
12:00 am Ė I can see now, but the visuals are still insane. I am astounded by what I just experienced, and am filled with a huge amount of energy for some reason. I feel like a wolf, a master of my own being. I laugh and entertain myself reciting trippy poetry off the top of my head. My friends return from the woods. I can hardly talk coherently unless its something outlandish and trippy. The walls of the house appear to be coated in red, sweaty skin. I am still surprised by how powerful these shrooms were. The rest of the night is occupied with a seven foot bong and lying in bed unable to sleep.
This was the most profound experience of my life. This amount of quality shrooms is not for everyone but suffice it to say if you decide to eat this amount it will most likely be a textbook psychedelic experienceócreativity is booming, complete destruction of the ego, utterly life-changing. I am different than when I started, but I feel spiritually reborn.
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